I think I broke my toddler's sleep :-(

By HappyBaker Aug 1, 2014

My 23 month old had previously been a great sleeper - we put her down around 7/7:30pm and she wakes up around 6:30. She'd make a couple of whimpers throughout the night but we hadn't had to go calm her in a very long time.

Last weekend we were out of town and she refused to sleep in the pack and play, so we let her sleep with us. And now, 5 days later she still just does NOT want to sleep in her crib by herself. Last night we finally just tried to let her CIO / realize we aren't doing this anymore and she screamed for over an hour before I finally went in and let her sleep with me.

Tips? Ideas? HELP! We have never let her sleep with us at home and I feel like this is a slippery slope that I don't want to be on.

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14 comments

limabeanbabies
olive / 57 posts

Aug 1, 2014

This happened to us over the last week or two. It's so hard! DD is 15 months and getting molars, which means she is extra needy and wants to cuddle and be comforted during the night. Last night we let her fall asleep with us then put her in her crib. So far so good, since she is still asleep! But this happened once before, and we did end up having to let her CIO and retrain herself for maybe 3 or 4 nights before we were back on schedule. It wasn't as bad as initial sleep training, though.
HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@limabeanbabies: Thanks, and glad your LO was still sleeping! Now that my DD can talk letting CIO seems even worse, because she is just screaming at the top of her lungs "mommy, daddy, out". This morning she had almost lost her voice I also just realized next weekend she'll be at my parents, and we are traveling together again two weeks after that, so maybe it's not worth fixing until we are going to be home consistently.
Mrs. Lion
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts

Aug 1, 2014

This probably isn't what you want to hear....but by giving in and giving her what she wanted, you actually reinforced that screaming works which means next time she will most likely scream even longer. The more times you give in the harder it will be to stop. I would try cio with checks to reassure her that you love her but sleep happens in her own bed you didn't break her! But she is a toddler and they are persistent if you don't want her sleeping in your bed I wouldn't let her do it again, even if it means a few really rough nights....
NovBaby1112
grapefruit / 4066 posts

Aug 1, 2014

agree with @Mrs. Lion....you didn't break her, but she now knows that screaming=being brought into your bed, so I would try to avoid that if you really are against her sleeping with you. CIO is very tough at the toddler age, I totally agree. It might be easier on both of you if you do a gradual method. Maybe keep her in her crib, but stay with her until she falls asleep for a few nights, and then gradually start leaving for short periods.
HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@Mrs. Lion: @NovBaby1112: Thanks guys, totally not what I want to hear but I know that it is true and hate myself for doing it! Tonight I'll try doing checks and not taking her out, hopefully we'll all survive.
Mrs. Lion
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@MrsTiger: aw dont hate yourself!! Its really not the end of the world! In a couple days im sure everything will be back to normal. Its not the last time you will have to set a limit and listen to the screaming when she doesnt get what she wants. They all do it, and she will be just fine!
twoofeverything
kiwi / 643 posts

Aug 1, 2014

I totally agree with everyone! But just to throw a curve ball...what if you used this opportunity to transition her to the toddler bed? I mean, that day is probably on the short horizon, and you already have some tough nights ahead...anyway just a thought! Toddler sleep is haaaaard
HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@twoofeverything: I was thinking that today actually, it can't be any worse than it is now

I just put her to bed at 7:30 and she is still screaming 30 minutes later, I think tonight I'm just going to go in and not pick her up / tell her its bedtime and to lie down. It doesn't help we have house guests this weekend too!
plantains
grapefruit / 4671 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@MrsTiger: I just went through this after we can back from a 3 week vacation. We had to let her CIO. The first night was crazy, she went on for 2.5 hrs. The next night was 15 mins and by night 3 she stopped crying. Everyone is happy as Larry again. You can do it!
dolphin
pomegranate / 3768 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@MrsTiger: I'm right there with you. I'm trying to sleep train my 19 month old again and it is SO HARD. One night she cried for 2 hours and last night she cried for 1.5 hours. Both times I ended up getting her because I couldn't take it anymore. She was screaming mommy mommy and it killed me. I'm going to try again today and try really really hard not to give in. Good luck to you!!
HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Aug 1, 2014

@plantains: that gives me hope! Thanks for sharing.

@dolphin: hope tonight goes better for you too! I can't believe how much harder it is to handle the mommy guilt with CIO toddlers. My DD is down now but I'm not holding my breath. Hang in there tonight too!
MamaMoose
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts

Aug 1, 2014

What about just staying with her but making her lay down in the crib? That's what we do with our toddler. If she doesn't lay down and be still I tell her mommy can't stay if she doesn't lay down and I leave the room and let her cry for five minutes. Then I come back and give her another chance. She knows now that fidgeting and fussing = mommy leaves, lay down and close my eyes = mommy stays with me. As long as she's good I stay and pat her and sing to her and she's asleep in ten minutes. I think there's a happy medium between letting her scream and taking her to bed with you.
HappyBaker
nectarine / 2242 posts

Aug 4, 2014

So I'm not holding my breath but the past two nights have been good! She skipped her nap both days, but that meant that she was so tired that she slept through the night both nights without a peep. I'd rather have no nap than being awake at night so I'll take it.

This morning I also gave her a sticker reward chart for staying in her bed all night and she was surprisingly excited about it, so maybe that will help too.
babynumber1
persimmon / 1396 posts

Aug 4, 2014

@MrsTiger: The same thing happened to us when LO turned 2 and we went on vacation for a week.

We finally made her a bed on the floor that she would crawl into. Then we moved an air mattress in her room for one of us to sleep on a few nights. Now we are not sleeping on it, unless she has a fit. I ended up laying down on the bed for 15 minutes last night and that was all it took.

This has been a rough sleep time for us!

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I think I broke my toddler's sleep :-(

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