But I desperately want another child. I feel so trapped. My story is long but in short, I have severe diminished ovarian reserve (AMH 0.1, FSH in the 20s-30's), had a hard time conceiving my son, had a miscarriage/ D&C at 12w with #2, and my cycles have basically been destroyed since due to grief and the stress of TTC. After a 53 day cycle I finally conceded and tried a new RE (something I said I never would do again b/c in the past all the fertility interventions failed and they were debilitatingly stressful). I'm only 34 (with the eggs of a 44 year old) and I (and my RE) do believe I can get pregnant- maybe. It will just take a long time. And lots of appointments at the clinic, an hour away from my work. And lots of Clomid (I don't qualify for IVF).
And I don't want to go through this. It's damaging my marriage, and the stress of TTC is throwing off my cycles.
The physical and emotional stress is almost unbearable but I don't feel like I can "take a few months off"- this summer when I am off is the only time I can feasibly try an IUI. I am running out of time, that was made very clear to me by my doctor.
Essentially, I need to stop trying so hard but I can't.
If adoption were easier and not rife with even more stress than this, I would consider it.
I have always wanted two children and I feel my family is incomplete- (though I will say having one kid is really easy at this point!)
The thought of just being done and not going through this again makes me feel soo sooo happy and sooo free.
If you were me, and you had one perfectly healthy child, would you just quit trying, knowing you have months and possibly years of stressful TTC and medical interventions to have #2?