Hellobee Boards

What a sweet thought. I will say, while the strength necklace is pretty thoughtful, it's not what I might pick. When my mom passed in August I felt like I HAD to be strong and what I really needed/wanted was the permission and opportunity to *not* be strong.

Honestly, what would have helped me the most was someone taking things off of my list. A house cleaner, dinners, babysitting (not just a generic offer of "let me know!", but a legitimate "I want to babysit for you on XYZ day, does that work for you?"). I had decision fatigue and I was burnt out AF. I didn't want to initiate asking for help because that was work too. Anything that could have lightened that load would have helped.

I agree with others. Last year my husband's twin brother passed away and my father-in-law stayed at our house for awhile to sort everything out and to be together with my husband. One of his extended relatives set up a meal train for us and it was the most helpful thing ever. They were all across the country from us so it was all delivery they set up from restaurants. My favorite meals were the ones that we didn't need to do anything for. They had pizzas delivered to our house one night, a local Italian place delivered a spaghetti dinner another night, and another night a local place delivered a taco party platter. Other nights people sent us gift cards for delivery, which was wonderful too, but made me figure out all those logistics. Other ideas would be having assorted bagels, fruit and veggie trays, snacks or assorted sandwiches delivered.

I also wouldn't rule out flowers and a well thought out card in addition to a meal or two. It was lovely to see flowers whenever we walked by them and be reminded that people were thinking of us.

Not sure if she has kids, but if she does, I'd also send some activities that they could do independently.

Food. Meals are great, but it can be anything—the things we liked best when my sister passed were (healthy-ish) ready made platter/snack type things. Think fruit trays, veggie trays, tortilla roll ups, etc (our local grocery store delivers them, can check into that). Someone also gifted us a very large gift card to a local pizza place, which was great when we had tons of family in town for the funeral.

Also paper products (paper towels, TP, Kleenex, paper plates, disposable silverware). Bottled water and drinks.

And honestly the things that meant the most were heart felt written condolences.

Agree with the sentiment above that people kept telling me how strong I was and, while I know it was well intentioned, I just wanted to scream “What is the alternative?!?!”

But reaching out with ANYTHING means so much. It doesn’t matter what words you say or what food you send—just showing up (even if virtually) means more than I can describe. I never realized how many people loved me, my family, and my sister until the week after she passed and it truly did help.

Got out of the hospital 10 days ago. my parents were taking care of my family while I recuperate. They left but today, my friend dropped off 2 chicken pot pies, ready-to-bake from a local place. Appreciated so much

This comment has been deleted by the original poster.