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@bhbee: Ohhh I hope you get in before Friday :))) that would kill me!!!! I am going to be a good girl and wait to test until 14Dpiui Feb 3rd ......ughhhh it is already killing me.....lol
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@FaithFertility: good luck waiting! only a week left! it's hard but it really is nice to get a definitive answer vs driving yourself crazy every day when you start testing early. clearly I didn't follow my own advice
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@bhbee: see that is the thing I am that crazy with out even testing.....believe it I hide my POAS craziness well.....lol
I feel that if I did POAS early I would do it every hour.....lol
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@Happygal: @sweetiepie: Thanks, ladies!
My story is PCOS, last time I had acupuncture for a year and managed to get my periods back naturally. I did one cycle of monitoring at the fertility clinic and got pregnant. I'm 14 months pp and still don't have a period, which isn't a huge surprise. I spoke to my doctor about it a few months ago and she said to wean and then see what happened. I just haven't had the heart to wean as my LO loves nursing and now I don't feel like I have the time to wait and see where my cycles are concerned. So that's why I'm going to the clinic again and this time I think I'll take the meds.
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well ladies I don't know why I let myself hope. I took another test today that went back in time a day on faintness (both wondfo and frer). it's still there but it's not good . . . I've been down this road too many times. I feel 80% sure it's chemical. I guess seeing that darker line yesterday, and getting a line early on 10dpo, made me think maybe it was normal. but I should know better.
I'm sorry to sound so negative but I'm feeling really, really down.
I can't even tell DH because he's interviewing for a new job today in another state and he doesn't need this at 6am. I just feel like my body is a failure. I know a lot of us have been there. why can't I hold onto a pregnancy? I know I should be thankful for the one I have, and I am, but seeing the line get lighter doesn't feel any better the second time around.
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you know what else is weird . . . I just woke up and I knew, I knew something was wrong. I didn't want to test again, but I told myself that if it's bad news better to know, and if it's good news I'd feel better. but it's weird how sometimes your subconscious already knows.
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@bhbee: I'm so sorry
I hope you're wrong 
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@bhbee: I am so, so sorry and sad to read this. Do you have someone you can talk to about this today? Like shutterbug, I hope you're hunch is not right about this. Hugs to you.
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going in to get a beta at 9:30. the nurse said then they'll have the results today. not that one beta is going to tell me anything, but as I said to the nurse (who wasn't that keen on me coming in today), I just need to get closer to getting some answers so that I can move on. a low result isn't going to upset me, information always helps in my book whether positive or negative.
I do have a sliver of hope - I went back and read my private TTC blog (it's always been my place to vent, and write down ridiculous details), the 2011 entries. and I basically had this happen with LO, just one dpo earlier. but then the next day I got a dark test and everything went well by the second beta. I also had her measuring way behind at the first ultrasound which they thought was bad news, but caught right up by 9w and turned out perfectly healthy. so I have that sliver of hope that maybe my body is weird but in the end gets it done.
honestly I'm still not expecting good things. but I always feel better to be getting info so that I can move on. I've been through this enough now, in some ways you just get more numb to it and I'll start looking to the next cycle.
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@bhbee: I know how scary all of this is, and it's easy to second guess, but I really hope your hunch is wrong. Keep us posted. Love and hugs.
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@bhbee: I'll be watching for your update. I'm sure the waiting and worry is torture. I'm glad you have notes to look back on that can be comforting, and hope this is a case of history repeating itself.
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beta was 28. not great for 13dpo, but of course anything is possible. I agreed to wait until Thursday for the second beta so that we'll have something more definitive (though I doubt it will be 0 no matter what, so I may need to go back again). I'm actually ok with that - I feel like when I test again tomorrow I'll have the answer just based on the line. Thursday will just be for the RE to document what happens.
I don't know how to feel about it. Certainly "eff you infertility" comes to mind, and I really didn't think I'd be facing more chemicals trying for #2. But I can feel myself looking forward already. I definitely want to move to 100mg clomid or injectibles next. I already have an RE appt on 2/13 but I'm hoping maybe I can talk to him on the phone before this next cycle starts.
not looking forward to telling DH (I didn't mention the BFP because of his job interview). "so I was pregnant, I mean I sort of still am, but it's not going to work out" . . . he just doesn't really get it or how sad it makes me. this will be the 4th time we've had this conversation . . . my 4th confirmed chemical (I think there may have been another in there too). and nothing from 2 rounds of RPL testing with 2 REs, so we just have to try something new and see what happens.
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I'd also like to add that karma hates me. my first chemical was exactly 3 years ago, so I was hoping to get better news this time and cancel it out somehow, but it's looking like a repeat
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@bhbee: Sorry to hear you're in beta hell
I'll be thinking of you and hoping it turns around...
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@bhbee: what types of tests did they run for repeated losses? Have they explored autoimmune possibilities with you? This is out of my domain of knowledge, but I know others here have gone down that road. I don't think I can say "sorry" enough.
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@mrs bunchy: how was the BD weekend?
Are you in the TWW now?@bluestriped bee: did the drop off go well for you husband this morning? Good luck with your ultrasound tomorrow, and let us know how it goes!
@mrswin: any updates?
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@Happygal: I've looked at lists before and I think I've had it all done. Whatever I have is below the radar I guess. What I really wish I knew was whether LO was a crazy miracle or whether it's just a matter of stronger meds and time. Hoping for the latter
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@bhbee: I'm so sorry that you are going through this
. I hope you see some better beta numbers on Thursday.
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@Happygal: Blahh I thought I was doing ok with everything. I got the official call from the clinic yesterday and I was fine. What did me in was telling SO
I have spent the better part of last night/today being really emotional. It just hurts and I am not coping well... I'm sure it will pass in a few days.
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@mrswin: I'm sorry. Some cycles are harder to take than others. How did your SO handle the news? Is hellobee helpful to you? I've found that I need little breaks from time to time, or I just bee-line to this IF corner.
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@Happygal: He was good, just gets upset that I am upset and there is no way to fix it. I mostly just stick to the IF boards or some of the general topics. This thread is good because I know everyone has probably felt the same way at some point. I think it is setting in for me that we probably need to consider IVF soon since this was our 3rd IUI.
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@bhbee: ughhh I am so deeply sorry you are having to feel these feelings again, they are truly evil awful! I know nothing can make it better, but know you are not alone.
When dealing with a chemicals I feel that it forever takes the joy of a BFP away
I know this too well as well!!!
Just know we are all hear to support you and help you know you are not alone.
I pray your betas double and you get a blessing soon!
Big hugs to you!!!! -
@mrswin: So sorry :((( I hate seeing this. I pray that all works put for you soon! This journey is not fun and really makes your heart hurt.
positive thoughts your way!!!!!!!
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@mrswin: I'm sorry you are hurting too. Tough week around here. Let's hope we are both feeling better about things soon. Hugs friend
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@Happygal: thanks for remembering. Unfortunately, DH couldn't do his deposit today. He is going to try again tomorrow.
My day 14 ultrasound is tomorrow and my IUI is the following day. It's getting down to the wire.
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@FaithFertility: how are you doing in the TWW? Half way through, right?
@bluestriped bee: I'm sorry to hear that. Is it too much pressure for your DH? How is he feeling? I'll be checking back tomorrow to see how your ultrasound goes and have my fingers crossed things are better for your DH!
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@bluestriped bee: praying for you that all goes according to plan and you can get to your IUI!!!! HUGS!
@Happygal: Yes, I'm 8DPIUI today
I'm doing good feeling nothing soooo just trying to stay positive and make it until Sunday.....lol DH is convinces we will get a suoer bowl BFP....LOL
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@FaithFertility: Hah! I'm imagining your husband throwing his arms up in the air and shouting, "Touchdown!!" Glad you're hanging in there. I also get a little antsy around 7-8 dpo and time drrrrraaaagggs along. Are you going to stay strong and make it to 14 dpo?
@bhbee: @mrswin: I hope things are looking a little bit brighter for you both this morning.
I noticed EWCM last night at 8 dpo. I think this month could be a wacky one!
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@Happygal: Do you know my husband....lol that is tottaly him!
Yes, the butterflies in my stomach are getting stronger everyday!!!
I am going to hold out and test at 13 DPtbe first iui insemination that was 1/19 my RE does one 12 hrs after trigher then again 36hrs....... praying for a BFP!!!! :)) -
@Happygal: It's not really the pressure. My DH has severe asthma and takes a bunch of meds to control it. He has had a few attacks this month, so it's really the meds that prevent him from giving a sample. Sometimes he can and sometimes he can't. He can take 'other' meds to help with his problem but those meds can slow down his breathing. So at this point, I can't really rush it. Maybe it was a bad month to do it an IUI with his health and also, we are in the middle of moving. DH said he was ready for this IUI when AF showed up earlier.
@FaithFertility: thank you.
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@Happygal: I don't know what to think about my situation. last night I felt some symptoms (extreme thirst, etc) and this morning the test (at 14dpiui) was back to my 12dpiui darkness, so a little darker than yesterday but still not where it should be for 14dpo. now I'm really scared that it's going to drag out a long time but still be non-viable
not that dr google is a reliable source, but of course I have spent tons of time googling tests that don't get darker, and I've never seen one turn out positive. if it's not viable I'm hoping to see AF before Monday and get to the next try. -
@Happygal: Just had my day 13 ultrasound. I have never been so happy to hear that my follicles are not big enough and that I have to come in on Thursday for another ultrasound!! Then IUI should be Friday. Gives the DH some more time to make his deposit. I was really worried about having my IUI tomorrow.
Plus, we just had a big move this weekend moving into our house so I was stressed with all the packing. Now that most of our stuff is moved. I'm able to relax. Well, other than living out of boxes for now. But it's much less stressful than trying to cram things into boxes before the movers came.
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@Happygal: lol worked out well!! I was off all weekend, so it wasn't a rush to get home from work, shower, and do the deed. I am currently in the TWW and will go Monday for progesterone draw.
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@bhbee: ack. That sound like hell. I hope you get an answer soon. Google is evil, but I won't even try to convince you to stay away! Too tempting. Hang in there lady.
@bluestriped bee: good! How is the new place? Do the pups like it?
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@Happygal: I have a love-hate relationship with Dr Google. on the one hand I have learned a lot with all my googling and stumbled upon many interesting resources. on the other hand I waste a lot of time looking for hope when I shouldn't . . . but I'd rather have it than not. how did people know anything about fertility before the internet??? I wouldn't even have known to buy TCOYF . . .
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@Happygal: The new house is great. Dogs love it. They lay in front of the front door and look outside for hours.
So, DH was able to drop off a sample today! Woohoo! Currently being processed and will be frozen. So this IUI will definitely happen! No more cancelled cycles for us.
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@bluestriped bee: yay, so happy to hear it!
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@bluestriped bee: funny how things can work out! Praying for your iui to be perfect and result in a BFP :)))
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@mrs bunchy: Happy TWW :)))))
@Bhbee: You still have my positive thoughts and prayers daily!
@shutterbug: How are you??? Did you find out if you are able to go right into another cycle???
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@bhbee: oh, I so understand. I am very guilty of googling "BFN at 13 dpo, but BFP later" more than once!
@bluestriped bee: Hooray! Things are shaping up for this cycle!
I can't even tell DH because he's interviewing for a new job today in another state and he doesn't need this at 6am. 
I hope you're wrong 
Are you in the TWW now?
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