How did you go about picking one? I'm really socially awkward, so I'm nervous I won't be able to get a good feel for whether I'll "click" with one based on just one (or even a few) meetings. Also, what about questions like age? I've heard some say an older, motherly type can be comforting, others that they prefer someone their own age. What did you choose, and why? What other factors matter in this decision? I'm a little overwhelmed by how to pick a person who will (hopefully) be a big part of one of the most important events of my life, so any input is appreciated.
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I didn't have much to choose from in my area honestly! Are you somewhere where there are tons of doulas?
I googled "Doula +mycity" and judged the few candidates on their websites. I picked the one I liked best and scheduled an interview.
I think part of a doula's role/training is to support all kinds of moms, no matter what. Old moms, young moms, btdt moms, first time moms, c section moms, natural moms, etc. So even if it's not a 100% perfect, let's be best friends forever personality match, they can still serve as an excellent doula to you. Does that make sense?
In the heat of labor, I didn't notice any personality quirks. I was very much in "the zone" and while I was thankful for my doula's presence, I think ANY doula's presence would have been great!
Not sure if I'm making sense. I will just say that you need to focus on finding a person who seems supportive of you, no matter what. If you want drugs, they support you. If you're interested in water birth, they support you. Etc.
Good luck!
ETA: A doula who is available will narrow it down too! If you don't have a lot in your area, it's best to book one before they are taken. My doula would only schedule one client per month. -
If it matters to you about how much experience they've had--how many births they've been at. When we interviewed doulas, we did it through a collective, so the doulas were at different levels, one we interviewed had only attended a couple, one had attended more than 20, and the one we finally went with had attended about 150 births. We will use her again next time!
Their ages varied, but I didn't want a matronly, mother/grandmother type. My mom would have had a heart attack, she was already not happy that our doula would be in the room and she wouldn't! Our doula is a couple of years older than I am and has two children. There was something endearing about her and how she interacted with both me and my husband.
What other trainings/certifications does the doula have? My doula is a lactation consultant and in yoga. Do extras like that matter to you?
How will she interact with your partner? Does she help him help you? Is she just there for you? My doula and DH were a team so they really need to get along, too!
That's all I can think of right now off the top of my head. Hope that helps.
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@cmomma17: Not sure what qualifies as a ton, but my first google search click turned up over 10, so if even a few of them are available, I'll have to do some choosing.
@mrsjazz: Those are good points to consider!
Thank you both for the input! It helps me organize my thoughts a bit.
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I interviewed three doulas, based on some recommendations on FB. From there, I chose the one I got the best vibe from.
Do you have a local moms FB group you could consult?
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Even if you're socially awkward I think it is possible to get a "good vibe" from a doula right from the start.
A lot of what Mrs. Jazz said would be things to consider. Also are you looking for someone just to be present during birth? perhaps education and support prior to labor? postpartum support with things like breastfeeding for instance?
Lots of doulas offer different things and considering that you're paying for service, you want to make sure that they can help you with all of the things you may want or expect.
Here's a link to DONA's site about what they say to consider http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php
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@Torchwood: http://doulamatch.net could be a good resource to find some people, and many have reviews and availability on their profile. No other advice, since you saw I'm not having much luck myself yet
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@Mrs.Someone: That's a really helpful site, thanks! Just being able to see price estimates all in one place is great. Though I'm curious what the one in my area that goes up $950 does that makes her so much more. (Most are around $4-500.)
@allison: I haven't looked for a group on FB. I'm part of a couple, but they aren't local. That's a good idea though.
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@Torchwood: The one that's charging more is probably more experienced, or may even be the DONA trainer in the area.
Our average cost where I am, is between $6-$700, but our local, most experienced doula (who only offers birth services nothing else) charges $1,600 a birth
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@Torchwood: The doula we went with was $1k and the others we looked at were $250 and $500, their prices were based on experience.
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@Torchwood: Lucky you actually! $850 is about the lowest I can find around here, and the more experienced doulas are often around $1600! But I live in a very crunchy area
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One more thing! I just found a "Meet the Doula" night in my area, it might be worth Googling to see if there is one in your area too?
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@Mrs.Someone: Google turns up nothing on meet the doula. Too bad. That would be pretty cool to get to meet a bunch at one time. And guess I'm glad for where we live! Seems like there are a lot of doulas available, and there's a wide range of prices. But $950 is the most I've seen. I guess we're not too crunchy and not too non-crunchy. Just right.
@junebugmama: Makes sense. Though some of the inexperienced ones seem to think highly of themselves. There's definitely not always a correlation between experience and price!
Emailed several doulas to find out prices, and put together a pinterest board with all of them, both those I know the price for and those I don't. And there are still more I haven't gotten to! Honestly, the range isn't more than a difference of a couple hundred at most, so I think I'll wind up narrowing it down based on services offered and things like how many people they book at a time, then set up some meetings. Not sure how soon to do the meetings, but we're definitely too busy the next few weeks so I'm thinking early May. I don't think that's likely to wind up losing too many due to being booked already, for a September EDD, right?
Also, might it make sense to make a small questionnaire with just a few basic topics covered, to email them before meeting? I might be able to weed out a few if I'm having trouble narrowing it down and don't want to meet with a ton of women. Not sure what questions would make sense though, since a lot of the basics are covered on their websites.
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@Torchwood: It took me a few tries, I also tried "speed dating" and "meet and greet". It may just not exist in your area though. Having a list of questions is a great idea, but I made sure to go with a natural discussion before breaking into those. I started in 2s: contacted 2, set up meetings with 2, struck out with 2
Next up is 2 more I guess.
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@Mrs.Someone: Sounds like a good plan. Want to find one for me too? This is hard!
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@Torchwood: Hah, no! It IS hard.
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@Mrs.Someone: Hey, I'm currently unemployed. Maybe I'll start a service finding doulas for people. >_<
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I found doulas to interview a few different ways but the one I chose was referred to me by another mom in my prenatal yoga class.
We picked her because we clicked with her the most, but it was important to me that she had at least one natural childbirth of her own, and she had 3!
Having said that, I had mixed feelings about her. I think she was the best of who we interviewed but I will choose a different one next time.
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Use Donna international to find a local one. I did and contacted a few practicing ones did interviews on the phone and in person and found an amazing one. She was the best!
Next up is 2 more I guess.
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