If you're anything like me, you probably hate this thought with a passion. But do you have a backup plan?
I'm still trying to figure out our plan...all I know is that we're not going to pursue adoption/surrogacy/donor eggs, so IVF might be it for us. But I like what @bluestripedbee said about being either pregnant or adopting by this time next year; that's such a positive spin on a plan B!
pomelo / 5228 posts
Officially no, but I imagine it would be adoption. We haven't really talked/thought about it though because I am an optimist and am so sure its going to happen for us eventually.
clementine / 770 posts
@spaniellove: Quick question if you don't mind my asking, did you try IUI first? how many did you do before IVF?
Edit: I ask because IVF is my plan B, and DH is getting too impatient to wait thru another iui cycle.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
I feel like I'm pretty early in my original plan B (IF treatment) so I'm taking the normal route - Clomid, other meds, IUI, IVF. I think after that we'd talk about adoption. I'm open to it, but I'm not sure if DH really is.
pear / 1531 posts
Good topic! We are prepared to do several more IVFs if need be (although REALLY hope this FET is the last of it). I have thought about adoption, however, DH doesn't seem to be that into talking about it now. I sometimes think that a South Korea adoption would be a good fit for us because my SIL is Korean, and she could pass traditions/culture to our child. DH's backup plan is probably more along the lines of nice cars, vacations, and fabulous parties with our non-parent friends and free-flowing wine and champagne. 
kiwi / 526 posts
Sort of? Plan B will either be IVF or Adoption, but we haven't made that decision yet. Both options require thousands of dollars we don't currently have, so I suppose we'd try to make that decision during the course of saving up for it.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Adoption is our plan b. We haven't talked about how many rounds of IVF we'll do before stopping.
honeydew / 7916 posts
@Apex: Our situation was a little messed up because our first clinic didn't really understand DOR. So I only did 1 IUI with injectibles, which I think was messed up because of a short LP and progesterone. Instead of pushing forward with the plan to do IVF they should have talked to us about doing more IUIs, especially since I had 7 follicles and great numbers, but they just wanted the money. Our new RE told us after doing more testing (before he knew about our natural BFP) that he was pretty sure all we needed was monitored cycles with TI although I was welcome to pay for IVF if I felt the urge to speed things up. If you don't have a pressing reason to do IVF, I'd recommend doing more IUIs. I know it can seem so hard to wait, but waiting a couple months is so much easier than everything that goes into IVF.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
We didn't have an official Plan B, though I ruled out IVF because I knew it wasn't for me. We agreed that adoption was an option for us, though.
honeydew / 7916 posts
@raintreebee: Hahaha, exotic vacations might be our plan C. I've considered adopting from South Korea since I'm Korean, although it scares me a little that their program seems to be much more restricted than it used to be.
nectarine / 2433 posts
We don't have a plan B yet. Adoption is something I have mentioned in passing but my DH has had trouble accepting the steps we have had to take to this point and I think it would be a long time before he would really consider this as an alternative 
cherry / 132 posts
If clomid and TI does not work we want to move to IUI if that doesn't work onto IVF. From what I can tell from my insurance website they will cover 6 IUIs per year and one IVF per lifetime. If that doesn't work we will move on to adoption. My goal is to have a child by 35. I'm 32 now so I have a little time to figure it out. I mean I would like a baby like yesterday but I am trying to set realistic expectations:)
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@spaniellove: Aww, thanks!
Yup, plan B is definitely adoption.
Ever since I had IF, adoption as been on my mind but with the recent unsucessful IUIs, I think I'm ready to move on to something a little more feasible. Would love to have my own biological children but maybe not for our first.
pear / 1580 posts
DH and I haven't talked about it. Right now we're on our second out of three IUIs. After that IVF. After that... I don't know. I'm open to considering adoption, but I know that our families will not be very receptive to it. I'd like a plan B, but - like getting engaged - I don't want to push DH to have that conversation before he's ready.
coconut / 8472 posts
Right before we got pregnant I was kind of struggling with this too. We were definitely going to continue the RE route with as many IVF cycles as insurance would pay for, but I was really worrying that we were never going to be able to have a biological child. I felt really torn on whether I wanted to adopt, whether I wanted to adopt a baby that was a different race* from us, and money was playing a big role too.
*I don't want the race thing to be misconstrued - I struggled with it because I felt like as a white person with an asian/black/etc baby it would be like wearing a stamp on my forehead that says I'm infertile. And so it felt like I'd constantly be sharing personal information with the world.
honeydew / 7916 posts
@MrsCB: Transracial adoption is complicated and thinking it all through beforehand seems much better than plowing ahead and ignoring a major issue.
kiwi / 742 posts
I used to think adoption was our plan B, but given the cost for that and IVF (it's not covered in my state) would probably be the same. Maybe we would try IVF first?
pear / 1580 posts
Edit: I assumed DH was on board with IVF... It came up in conversation last night, and it turns out that it makes him uncomfortable. The reasons he said are totally valid and I respect his opinion, but all the more reason that I hope and pray that these IUIs stick!!!
watermelon / 14206 posts
If we get pregnant again and lose it again, we will look into foster parenting. IVF isn't an option for us, cause we can get pregnant...it's bringing home a live baby that's the issue.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@TheReelDeal: We decided not to persue IVF because of cost and other reasons. We are leaning towards adoption because it might be the same price as a IVF but with adoption there's a adoption credit. Depending upon how much you and your husband makes, you might be able to deduct $12k. http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=2126
You'll have to pay for it upfront but you could get a lot of it back at tax time. I think infant adoption can cost about $20k. So with the adoption credit, it could only cost you $8k at the end. For us, that amoubt seems more doable than IVF. Plus, emotionally I don't think I could go through an IVF treatment and have it fail. Going through adoption 'seems' easier for me.... I know having a contested adoption is going to be really rough on us, if we have to go throughit. (IVFers... I hope I didn't offend any of you. IVF just isn't for us. Best of luck to you guys!)
I know deciding on IVF or adoption is completely upto you but adoption could be somewhat cheaper.
pomelo / 5228 posts
I broached the subject last night while we were taking a walk. Neither of us really had an answer, since we haven't started any treatments with an RE. But the plan for now is for 2 more months with the ND and then move on to an RE if needed.
clementine / 901 posts
Before we started TTC I wanted to pursue adoption. Basically, adoption was my plan A, but DH wanted to have one first so we could go through the phases and they could be closer in age. I was looking into international adoption which means the baby would be more likely a toddler by the time they came home, so ideally we would start our adoption process when bio baby was around 1.5-2 years and then hopefully by the time everything went through they'd be two or three years apart. So before we started TTC we agreed that we would give it a year and maybe do diagnostic testing to see what was wrong and if it was something simple that required just meds and no extreme measures (IUI or IVF) then we might try that. Well here we are a year later but I'm not sure where we are going to go from here, we've had our referral to an RE but our insurance doesn't cover even the diagnostics so I'm wondering if we should just save our money and start our adoption process.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@bluestriped bee: just remember that the ATC is no longer reimbursable, it's only a credit toward your tax liability. We addressed that by changing our withholding in our adoption tax year
@MrsCB: Hopefully no one judges you for your decisions regarding race. Everyone needs to make their own choices in this regard. People should know their limits, and I have a lot of respect for people who are thoughtful about their decision-making.
honeydew / 7916 posts
@bluestriped bee: If you're looking for a tax deduction, I believe IVF and other medical expenses incurred can be deducted if they exceed 10% of your total income...or rather, the amount that exceeds 10% of your income can be deducted.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
We had given ourselves a deadline of January 2013 to make a decision about our plan B. For us, IVF wasn't an option, so we had said that if nothing happened by Jan, we would decide whether to pursue adoption, or ditch the naturopath and try more aggressive fertility treatments. (We got our BFP in November- never did choose a plan B).
pomelo / 5228 posts
@redsmarties: If you don't mind me asking, what was your naturopath doing to treat you that ultimately worked? I'm working with one now and just finished up a month of testing. Going back in a few days to discuss the results and start treatment.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
@Mrs. Jacks: Ah, yeah, that's right. I need to remember that. When that time comes, I'll need to ask you about it more.
@spaniellove: Oh, yeah, that could work, too.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@bluestriped bee: I've got your back! We definitely made the restrictions work to our advantage
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