We lean towards the reinforcing positive behavior and ignoring negative behavior (when possible) style of parenting.
LO is throwing tantrums when we tell her 'no'. When we ignore her tantrum she escalates. She responds well to distraction, but then I worry I am encouraging the tantrum behavior by telling her 'no' and then rewarding her tantrum with my attention. Does that make sense?
Help!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
At that age, I used the ignoring tactic the most. I praise her a lot for good behavior, and when she would be on the ground tantrumming, I would just step over her and go about my business as if she wasn't there. 
watermelon / 14206 posts
At that age, I'd distract. Once they get a little over 2, ignoring works better (for most).
persimmon / 1178 posts
I see I have opinions on both sides of the fence 
@Mrs. High Heels: do you feel like it worked in the sense she probably had less tantrums over time?
Thanks so much for replying.
honeydew / 7917 posts
I chose to ignore at that age, and it worked well for LO. He learned that I wasn't going to give him the attention he wanted during his tantrums. After a week or so his tantrums lessened in frequency, and he seemed to recover a lot quicker.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
It does. LO is 15 months and I ignore the most. Sometimes when it's a bad one I redirect. Then when all else fails I give food! Ha,!
coconut / 8299 posts
I distract first and if that doesn't work I'll ignore. Distraction works better for us because it doesn't create escalated tantrums. Ignoring only makes her tantrums worse!
pomegranate / 3595 posts
Can i say both? I usually ignore the behavior ie dont comment on the crying or attempt to soothe. After maybe 30 seconds then i start doing something else, like get out a book or a toy. She usual,y calms down and comes to see what i am doing. Noisy toys are good for this. Sometime i talk about what i am doingand how fun it would be if lo played with me too. It usually works for us but everyone is different,
persimmon / 1178 posts
@banana: That's our problem- she's escalating while we ignore her.
@MamaCate: "i start doing something else, like get out a book or a toy. She usual,y calms down and comes to see what i am doing."
Genius! This is different than me actually GIVING her a toy or something while she is crying.
I just tried playing with the dogs when she started to blow- she came over immediately to see what we were doing that was so fun! Thanks 
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@lizzywiz: sounds a bit like using an incompatible behavior... that has been life changing with our toddlers!
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/04/22/what-shamu-taught-me-about-happy-toddlers/
persimmon / 1178 posts
@mrbee: I am embarrassed to say I read this when it came out and made a note not to forget it when I needed it, but...I forgot!
Excellent tips and just what I need right now.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@lizzywiz: yay! So glad it worked out for you guys. I hope it keeps working. I feel like it is a good compromise approach and it gives LO an 'exit strategy', for lack of a better word, out of the tantrum. Toddlers can't really self regulate until closer to 18 months so they do need help at this age.
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