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Aww. I'm sorry! It's really hard to be a caregiver for both your husband and LO. You are not a horrible person! I hope your DH feels better soon, for both your sakes! Hugs!

Uhh... how sick is he??

Whenever Hubs or I are sick, we STILL do our normal daycare drop-off/pick-up responsibilities! Although usually Hubs does drop-offs and I do pick-ups, so if he's sick, I might drop-off and then he'll do pick-up.

You guys have a child, so despite how sick he is, I think it's unfair of him to expect you to do everything on your own. What would you guys do if you were both sick? Would he help out more in that case??

You are not! Is he really so sick that he can't function?

Just remember that you're a team... And there is an end to this madness! Hang in there

No, you're not terrible. I get irrationally annoyed when my husband is sick. I think it is truly one of those male/female dynamics, personally. Women innately feel the need to "push through" sickness and keep up normal routines as much as possible while men just lie around and literally act like children.

I agree with PPs. Unless he is on doctor-ordered bedrest, he has to pick it up a little. And he's already calling out of work for tomorrow? Geez. You're not overreacting.

IIRC, your husband has a chronic illness that he's on medication for, right? Is this related to that, or something else?

You're not terrible at all.

@Cherrybee: My husband got pneumonia 2 years ago. After about a week of being really sick (but still going to work) he finally went to the doctor and got diagnosed and started antibiotics and orders to stay home. After a week of that, he went to get checked... and the pneumonia had gotten BIGGER. So he came home with orders of BEDREST for a WEEK and a stronger antibiotic. The doctor literally told him not to get out of bed except to go to the bathroom.

I was heavily pregnant, working full time, with a very active toddler running around. Even though I was scared about how sick he was, I was seriously angry and resentful of the fact that he had been out of pocket for a week and now would be even MORE out of pocket in that now I had to care for him too!!! I felt like an awful, awful human being and the worst wife in the world. But I was stretched beyond my ability to care for my child, in so much discomfort from my pregnancy, etc. I literally fixed trays with soup and crackers and water and threw them into the bedroom and shut the door behind me, 3 times a day for a few days. I slept on the couch.

Then when he went to the doctor he begged her to let him help out more. Not even because he's that nice of a guy... but because I was being THAT bad to him. She saw that his pneumonia was finally shrinking so she said he could help out but no lifting or running around. That really did help.. he could at least change diapers, sit and help Wagon Jr. eat while I cooked and cleaned... etc.

It happens to the best of us. And the worst of us... meeeeeeee

You're definitely not overreacting. My DH does this too and it's so frustrating. If I'm sick, I still do all of my normal responsibilities.

Vent away and enjoy an extra large glass of wine tonight.

I know from your previous posts that your husband has some serious health issues (more than a man-cold, though perhaps that is part of it too!), but regardless, he needs to step up a little. Throwing a lollipop stick on the floor when you’re done with it; aw hells nah, he isn’t 3 years old! At the very least, he could put it on a tissue on the bedside table (or in a trash bin next to the bed); that wouldn’t take any additional effort. That behavior has nothing to do with sickness and everything to do with basic respect for your partner.

In our house, after 1 person is sick, that person picks up extra slack for the next couple of days to give the other parent a bit of a break. It’s all about give and take - - and he can’t be taking all the time. What about this weekend; can he know ahead of time that he will be responsible for making sure that YOU get a break? (A real one, too!)

Can you sleep in separate rooms when he is really sick? (Or could he even sleep on the sofa?) I know some people don’t think it’s healthy for marrieds to sleep apart, but when one is sick and going to disrupt the other person’s sleep I have zero guilt about banishing my husband (or myself) to the guest room.

You're not terrible at all! You're only human and stretched thin. I hope it passes soon. Hang in there!

@Cherrybee: I get annoyed about the same sort of thing. Don't beat yourself up too much. You're a wonderful wife.

You're not a terrible wife/person. I too have felt resentment to my hubby when he's sick. Both of us contracted food poisoning awhile back. He had it slightly worse than me, but I could barely get out of bed myself. And yet, I still had to care for DS all on my own. @hotchildinthecity: put it in great terms - "women have this instinct to care and push through whatever life throws at us, not matter how big or small. while men don't". Another things that's weaved into our DNA. Yay us!!

You are not a horrible wife!!! At all. I think this is a natural reaction. It is hard as shit doing everything yourself. I know I live for Friday's when DH is home to help with getting R and me out the door. If his flight is late, not his fault, I get pissed at him still. I know he would rather be home too.

Give yourself a break. Being around/supporting a family member that is sick is INCREDIBLY stressful - my mom has been sick as long as i can remember and of course it's harder for her but i know the exhaustion and the resentfulness that comes through sometimes. It's normal, but we do what we do for those we love right? Vent all you want, no one thinks you are a horrible wife.

I don't think you're terrible. It sucks when stuff like that happens.

Dh and I try to cover for each other when one of us is sick. I've done it without him when lo and I were out of town at my parents' and that was not fun. Luckily we haven't been sick outside of a cold at the same time so far... But it has worked out that lo and I have been sick without him a lot and he's been around for more of the fun times and I'm not gonna lie, those days I wish he was the one who stayed home. Or that we had a more 50/50 schedule. Guess that'd make me a crap mom and wife, haha. Oh well, it is what it is!!!