Is your toddler good about playing independently? Mine is horrible at it! I'm super burnt out by it because I literally can't get any single task done without being interrupted every few minutes. I've been trying so hard to teach him to be independent and I especially want him to get better about it before LO #2 comes. Any tips you can share?
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Commenting to subscribe because the only independent time my kid has is when he is in front of a screen.
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@brownie: Lol that's mine. It's rough. How old is your LO?
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Subbing as well. She's decent when DH is home in the evenings, but not during the day.
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DD is pretty good about independent play. I'm not sure I can attribute it to one specific thing though, it may just be her nature.
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Ellie was awful. Lorelei is pretty awesome. A lot seems to have to do with their personalities; Ellie is very intense, and Lorelei just rolls with whatever.
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@Weagle: Ha, don't you love when they make a liar out of you and act differently around their other parent?
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@Boogs: Seriously. Like every day.
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I can definitely empathize! E will play by himself for a minute or two and then start pulling or pushing on my legs. The only time he spends any time playing independently is usually in his room, when he's tearing up his foam ABC mat.
So no advice. It's exhausting, but I try to include him when I'm doing something now. If I'm folding laundry I give him a stack of washclothes. If I'm trying to vacuum or sweep I let him do it too. If I'm trying to cook I give him a bowl and whisk or something to play with, or put him on a stool and let him stir a pot (closely watched).
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So far my LO is good at independent play (8months). I spread toys around her then pretend to fall asleep next to her then scoot back until I am really not right next to her. So far it has worked but yesterday I actually fell asleep while pretending! Then I heard her trying to mess with the remote and dropped it so it woke me up. I was so glad nothing happened because we didn't buy the connecting gates yet to enclose her inside.
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DS1 is awesome at independent play... When he has to poop. I am so going to miss his little bouts of alone time when he's potty trained!
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@Boogs: He is 2 and 9 months but he will watch tv for hours if we let him. But I would like him to play. He really doesn't like to play with toys.
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@brownie: Our LO's are the same age! Ours will play with toys, but mostly only if we engage him. And we totally have to watch the screen time because he doesn't mind being a zombie.
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@Boogs: yes a zombie. It is useful but he wants it all day everyday he wakes up asking for Minnie or jake pirate.
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I think a lot of it boils down to personality and not parenting. And whether or not they like toys. DD1 has never liked toys very much so there wasn't anything for her to DO on her own when she was small. Now she can read so that's her independent play. DD2 likes toys more so she's much better at independent play. She can go for over an hour just wandering around and picking stuff up. This also means that she gets into things a lot more than her big sis!
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@brownie: Ha our boys are twins!
@Andrea: Great one, so I guess I need to find that special thing that my LO likes.
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@Boogs: she's not great at it. She is constantly coming to me and hanging on my legs. I negotiate by letting her help me with chores!
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@Boogs: yeah, that might just do the trick!!
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My LO just turned 2 and has never been independent. The only time she will sit by herself for a little while is if I let her watch a show. I feel bad plopping her in front of the TV everyday, but it's the only way I can get dinner made without her pulling on my legs or wanting me to pick her up. She has a ton of books and toys, but always wants me to sit down next to her.
Yesterday she sat and played quietly for a few minutes while I cleaned the kitchen, but only because she had gotten a hold of the wipes and had a great time pulling them out one by one
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I agree with @Andrea: need to find something the kid loves. For example, they love playing with the trains and tracks, kitchen, and mega bloks. They'll also open up books that play songs and dance to it. Also, change it up a bit. We take out toys they don't really play with. Give it to them after a few weeks or so and they may find interest in it again.
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She used to be SO awesome. She would play alone for the longest time. Then around 13 months (shes 16 months now), she won't play more than 5 minutes by herself. I love playing with her, but constantly is exhausting.
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@Boogs: I didn't know anyone else with a baby my sons age on here! I am soooo excited!
I decided my son needs a playmate. His friend was here for a week and he didn't watch tv at all that week.
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@brownie: Yup! Your LO an April baby?
I wasn't opposed to be one and done, but my LO loves other kids. So, that's why we are currently expecting another.
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My LO has never been great at independent play. I try to let her decide what toys she wants to play with instead of choosing for her, but she rarely plays for long or needs me to be near her as she does. The only time she is ok on her own for a while is if she has decided she has a task to do - like moving all her socks from one bin to another, or moving books from one shelf to her bedroom floor.
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@sweet_p: @MrsScallop: Lol they are usually independent when making messes.
@tequiero21: That's a great idea, maybe I need to do better rotating toys.
@Bao: It is exhausting! It's like I know this is my job, but I have other jobs to do also!
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@Boogs: like peeing!
lol but seriously, sometimes I can't even do that...I love her to death but man oh man!
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@Boogs: yup april. I wish we were expecting but it didn't work out for us.
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LO is 14 months and I think he does a pretty decent job. I try to at least take a small chunk of the day and be 'unavailable' as in, I am standing up/doing something else/unwilling to pick him up. I think it helps a lot that our entire house is babyproofed - so I don't feel pressured to keep him contained in one space. It's a ranch, so if I'm folding laundry he can go play in his room, etc.
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@Andrea: Do you have my kids? Ellie was not "busy" and had a hard time on her own. Lorelei gets into everything and gives me way more grey hair, but doesn't mind making her own fun at all. And Ellie is a big reader now, too.
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@Bao: Haha yes! Since my LO has started using the potty he's even more fascinated in joining me!
@brownie: I'm sorry.
I hope next month brings you better luck! I just barely found out myself this month.@scg00387: I like the 'unavailable' time.
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Sadie's very independent. She's very busy, extremely curious, and into everything. She will let me play with her, but I think she'd rather play alone... ha. Her ability to play independently isn't as ideal as it sounds... if I turn my back for one minute she will climb onto the couch and try to jump off head first. Or get stuck somewhere. Or attack the dog.
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@Mrs. Twine: wow, we do have the same kids!
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@photojane: Oh my! Guess the grass isn't always greener...
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@Boogs: Oh no, it won't be until August at the earliest (IVF) so we have a ways to go. And if that doesn't work we are going to pursue fost-adopt.
He does great at school though but that is because there are other kids doing the same thing (he does montessori so they work). BUT at his other school they notice he doesn't play with toys either. He plays with other kids with toys but not the toys.
And that is why he goes to school even when I'm not working.
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@Boogs: She is free-spirited, to say the least!
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@photojane: very true. DD2 is more independent, but that does mean we've had to do a TON more babyproofing!
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LO is great at playing independently but she definitely went through some phases during which she couldn't play alone and it was so exhausting. I think once she started to walk she became a lot more independent.
I hope next month brings you better luck! I just barely found out myself this month.
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