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I don't know what I would do but I would be likely to try one of them since the tearing got worse with your second instead of easier.

I had a 4th degree tear the first time around. my son was sunny side up and he was stuck: dr did an episiotomy and I remembered them saying he's coming out now ... or you get a CS... and he finally got out... but I tore badly. So badly that I thought a CS would have been better and the nurses all said that I tore so much that probably a CS would have been better. 2nd time around, the dr that delivered the baby pushed for a CS. the other doctor much older (about to retire), said that's the new trend because of possible life long problem like incontinence if you tore again. My sister, a doctor told me go for a CS but my dr would only schedule it for 39 weeks ( and I delivered early and knew I would not make it). So anyway, I got asked each appointment if I wanted a CS and I agreed to it. I didn't make it to 39 weeks. I almost delivered at home... but made it to the hospital and without an epidural... I got my baby. And I tore 2nd degree and I felt fantastic after the birth.... (compared to my first...)

Both choices hurt...

I can’t say what you should do, but I had a c-section with my first and a vbac with my second (2nd degree tear and one way up high mear my cervix that took a while to stich up). The tears and c-sec incision all healed nicely with no complications. But, the c-section was easier to recover from (for me) than the tearing. Neither are easy, per se, and apparently I’m a bit of a freak for how well I recovered from the c-section, so take it with a grain of salt. The first day or two with c-section was way harder. You need help walking and doing everything. But after that, the pain was only there if I moved. So, getting up and down (walking wasn’t too bad), sneezing, coughing, turning over in bed all hurt. But lying, sitting or standing didn’t hurt at all. Took a long time (months) to recover the core strength though. For the VBAC tears, it always hurt. Hurt to sit to stand to walk, to go to the bathroom. Every move I made hurt. I never knew how much you use your perinium. But, I wasn’t out of commision for a couple days like with the c-section and it certainly was nice to be able to lift things and stand tall (with no core strength, it takes a lot of work to sit up straight). I don't think this is an easy decision either way.

I have only had one birth and I had a c-section so take this with a grain of salt.
My c-section recovery was a piece of cake. The first few days I was sore and sitting up, rolling over, etc took more effort but I wasn't in pain. I was walking at least a mile a day after 5 days and had no issues. Everyone is different but I just wanted to share this and give you hope that a c-section can be easy, especially compared to what you have gone through before

I had a severe 4th degree tear with my first birth, born at 42 weeks and baby was 9 pounds. A midwife delivered my baby but the OB on-call from the same practice completed the sutures and I saw her for all of my follow up appointments, it took 6 long months to recover. I couldn't lift or carry anything heavier than my baby for months, and ended up seeing a physical therapist to regain my pelvic floor strength (which I highly recommend after any birth!).

When I was pregnant again the OB strongly recommended a scheduled c-section, the midwife who delivered my baby said it wasn't necessary but another midwife who I was close with in the practice supported the c-section also. It was a hard decision but I knew I couldn't go through that recovery again with a toddler and a newborn. I also worried that it would be worse and cause permanent damage. I had a scheduled c-section planned but ended up going into labor my own at 39 weeks. We proceeded with the c-section and he was 8#, which is a good size for 39 weeks. The OB who delivered remarked at how low the baby was and I did have some pelvic floor issues later despite the c-section. My overall recovery was much easier, I mean it was still major abdominal surgery but with the abdominal binder I could get up and around pretty well. I would say it took 3-4 weeks to feel really good vs. the 6 months it took the first time. So for me it was much better, but my tearing situation the first time was pretty extreme. I am pregnant again and will be having a scheduled repeat c-section.

I didn't vote because I am not sure what I would have done if the induction option was offered, I feel like I would have still torn with my 8# baby and you have pretty good sized babies also. I am not sure at what point the baby would be small enough to make a difference. Since you've had 2 repairs I would think weakened tissue integrity would be a concern. I am surprised the first OB said absolutely not to the c-section option.

@bees_knees

I’m due in early March so I have some time but still. I actually contemplated this with my second too. My first was a big baby at almost 9 pounds. So my doctor suggested I schedule a csec at the same time as my first and if I went into labor before then to try a vbac. I didn’t have much choice bc he came couple of weeks early, fast and furious. Like I felt contractions at 2am, got to hospital around 3:30am and then had him by 5. They didn’t even have time to give me epidural. I was told to push as soon as I arrived. I briefly got scared and asked for a csec but I was told that bc it was too late, I would be under whole body anesthesia if I really wanted a csec. So vbac it was and even though it was successful, it hurt. A lot. For months.

@bees_knees: I didn't get a CS: my daughter made the choice for me and arrived super quick... i.e crowning in the ambulance....and delivered after 3 pushes at the hospital.

Looking at what happened previous times for you, I personally would choose a CS. Were both babies early, or late, or on their due dates? One of my friends had an emergency CS after a failed induction at 42wks. Baby was too big. She had a RCS because she knew her body would probably not go on labor on its own... and scheduling wise, it was just easier... and she recovered very quickly....(compared to the first time)

I had a CS and a VBAC with 2nd degree tearing. My c section was a million times worse. I couldn’t walk for weeks, was in constant pain. It was horrible. With my vbac, there was discomfort but nothing like the cs. I depends on the person though cause some people had very normal c section recoveries.

@bees_knees: that is tough! I hate these types of decisions and would be torn if I was in your shoes. I had a somewhat similar situation where I had to decide if I was going to do a repeat csection or go for a VBAC. My doctor had been supportive of the VBAC the entire pregnancy, but my baby packed on the weight right at the end and he wasn't pleased with her size versus my pelvis.

Here's the thing: you can get "my csection was great!" and "my csection was the worst thing ever!" stories ALL DAY LONG. So these shouldn't be what you base your decision on. Instead, I would advise to pick the doctor you've worked the most with and have a close relationship with and go with that. Birth is unpredictable and there are no guarantees.

I will share that in the end, I went with the repeat csection. It wasn't until they lifted her out at a hefty 9.2 pounds and measured her head (a full inch+ bigger than average!) that I felt a sense of relief for going with the csection. And even then, there was a wee little part of me that wishes I had gotten to experience labor. If she had been a little thing, I probably would have cried and thought I should have tried for a VBAC. But my doctor was right, and I'm glad he kept us both safe.

I haven't had a c-section but I did break my tailbone delivering my first vaginally (induced at 41+1, DS was 8lbs5oz/21in but with an off-the-charts head). Recovery was terrible - I was on vicodin for three straight weeks, used those hospital ice packs for a longgg time, and couldn't sit down comfortably for 4-5 months. I had a second vaginal delivery with DD (went into labor naturally at 40+5, she was 8lbs7oz/21.5 in but "only" 83rd percentile head) and it went really, really well. In my case it really did seem to be the size of the head vs. the overall size! The induction itself went really smoothly and was fairly mild, so it's hard for me to believe that was the difference maker. (I also had mild second degree tears with both deliveries.)

If we were going for a third and I had broken my tailbone a second time, I would probably be speaking to my doctor about the possibility of a c-section.

@bees_knees: ah gotcha! Well I had a rough experience with my failed induction and the c-section recovery was tough for me. But I dont have experience with tearing to know which would be the lesser of two evils

@bees_knees: what position were you in when you delivered your babies? I'd be asking your medical team for advice on preventing the tears (perenial massage (sp), optimal foetal positioning), birthing upright, water birth) rather than going straight for the c-section or induction. Are you also able to get a copy of the notes for your previous deliveries so you can possibly do things differently this time around?

But otherwise I get it, one of my best friends chose a c section over a vaginal birth because the recovery from her first birth was awful!

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first. I don’t know how long it took to stitch up, but I remember that a specialist came in to determine if it was 3rd or 4th degree. My second baby was a pound and a half smaller and had a much smaller head. I also only pushed for 5 minutes, vs 2 hours. I had one tiny tear that didn’t need any stitches. Recovery was a breeze compared to the first time.

My mom had 3 babies. Episiotomy with the first, bad tear with the second, minor tear with no stitches with her 3rd—a 10 lb baby.

@bees_knees: I had a bad third degree tear with my son and a horrible recovery. I was scared of incontinece issues.
I had a c section with my second. Easy. I cannot imagine tearing that bad again. With a c section too people understand you're sore and help more than with a vaginal, in my experience any way.

ETA: for my second she was put right on my chest right away. After a bit she went with DH for skin to skin with him while I was closed up. Ask for immediate skin to skin!

I had an uneventful vaginal delivery with DS1. I know I had stitches but they never mentioned a severity of year so it probably wasn't too bad. I had a pretty easy recovery. DS2 was a scheduled c-section because he was breech and that was an even easier recovery. I felt great! BUT I'm still gonna try for a vbac with #3 because I feel like I missed a lot not being able to hold my baby right after he was born with the c-section. It bugs me a lot more than I expected. For me, I'd choose the physical pain over the emotional, but only you can guess which you might prefer. I just wanted to bring up the non-recovery aspect of a c-section.

I had bad tearing (cervix and labia). In talking to my midwife, the best way to prevent it next time is to go into labor naturally, let your body labor naturally (especially in the water), and birth without an epidural. She absolutely does not recommend a C section and she said the problem with induction is that you'll likely need the epidural because pitocin sucks. That increases the risk that you can't feel your contractions and you tear.

In my case the tearing happened because we realized my kid should have been an automatic c section while he was crowning. I was given 4 minutes to get him out before having forceps or a x section under general. I was working against my body because I absolutely did not want general.

The no C-section was because it is major surgery and in general, I've shown I can birth quite fine without it.

I had 2 inductions and tore both times (in the same place), but the second recovery was SO much better. I felt pretty fantastic after my 2nd birth even though I'm told I tore the same amount along the same lines. I healed more quickly (the first time I wasn't fully cleared at 6 weeks) and never really felt much pain from the tearing.

That said - you've already had 2 babies and tore worse the 2nd time. I would personally go into this with the assumption that you're going to tear as badly as the second time. It's possible that it could be better or worse than that, but that's the assumption I'd make to help me make my decision.

I'd probably go with the C-section over the induction, though. I feel like it's unlikely baby will be THAT much bigger a few days later (since they shouldn't/won't induce until 39 weeks) and inductions can be miserable or lead to sections anyway.

@Bees_Knees: I'm curious what you decided. I assume the 3 mo listed in your profile was this birth in question. I don't have any experience with CS or tears but just wanted to say MAN you are a trooper.