Is it just me or does your partner think taking care of the baby basically means watch TV with her in his lap or putting her in the swing or chair? When baby doesn't sleep any if those ways he thinks "she wont sleep. Oh well she must be hungry." I keep telling him his sports on TV and just sitting there don't cut it, but I always end up taking the baby to a quieter room and some light bouncing and cuddling usually works if she's tired or we do something like read or play on the activity mat. DH just doesn't really do anything that requires him to peel his eyes off the RV when he's home. *I'm slightly peeved bc I was so tired and handed baby to him after I fed her so I could get a nap. But she kept fussy and I could hear. She was up for 3 hours and he never got her to sleep for even 5 min. No doubt the Basketball game was too over stimulating! I finally nursed her to sleep really quickly and now just have her sleeping on top of the boppy. DH manages to watch TV and lay on the sofa and sleep all the time when he is home. To be fair he works really late on weekdays, but his style of watching baby is just so TV- focused. When either of the grandmas help watch baby it's the same way! Is it just me? Is this really how most people spend time and watch their infants? I don't think it's okay with me for that to be the norm, but then I'm always the one to be actively watching her.
-
It's not just you. LO is 13 months and yes, sometimes I will multitask while on the computer with her. But for the most part we read books, play, dance & listen to music, go outside, and are just silly together. For DH, taking care of baby is usually him catching up on his TV shows he missed while simultaneously playing video games. The majority of the time LO falls and hurts herself in some way because he wasn't paying attention.
I've complained to him so much about it that he's slowly started to do other things. He actually took her on a walk and to the playground last weekend.
-
The older she gets the less so but yeah DH was like that! Actually now I think he pays more attn to her than I do because when he's with her he doesn't really worry about anything else.. I do most of the chores.
Also fwiw I always have the tv on even if I'm not watching it, and I know my mom did too, and my verbal skills and tests results have always been very advanced. Babies need interaction, though. So maybe a compromise would be allowing the tv to be on but he has to face her away from it and he has to keep the volume down and interact with her. As she's able to sit up and do more interactive things it will probably be easier for him.
-
My husband will watch TV with our guy & we had the TV on when we first brought him home. I think a lot of people don't know about the TV can be harmful research & don't think it's a problem. Could you talk to you husband about limiting TV time? It's sounds like its a problem, even without the babe around. And, I think you're right about the sleeping issue. She's likely overtired and needs help falling asleep & the TV isn't helping!
-
DH is very hands on with our toddler but he is glued to his phone or TV with our infant!
-
I used to get upset about this too. I'd have DH watch the baby while I got dinner ready and he's just plop him in front of the tv. If I wanted the baby to watch tv, I could've done that myself. Since then, we've arranged our living space so that the tv is in the basement. We only really go down there to watch tv so that removes the tv temptation when we're on our other floors.
-
I have the tv on a lot in the background for myself but play with, read to and interact with DS. I only really watch a show during nap time.
-
@mrsjazz: @googly-eyes: I'm hoping with age, it will get better too.
@mewtill: I have and do. And he'll change it up for like 1/2 hr or so, but beyond that I think he just wants to catch up on all his shows and thinks of it as he needs relaxation time too. I do get him to turn down the volume, and sometimes I just will take her and put her on her activity mat at least. Yeah - tonight he was surprised I got her to nap so quickly in our quiet bedroom. Well, yeah - baby had been awake for 3 hours straight.
@BoogieBea: Wish we had a basement! We just have one main living area (kitchen, family, eating area) and the TV is mounted. To say he's one of those TV size and quality obsessed guys would be an understatement.
-
DH was the same way for awhile but I learned if he can follow what we do usually on his days off, then I can lead by example and he does our routine too. We hardly ever have the TV or computer on (I'm on HB when they are asleep though!) but if he can just follow that we have play time in the playroom, read a story, meal time and rocking for a nap, then his help is usually as good as me being there with him. It's taken a lot of time!!
-
@HLK208: This is TRUE! I always tell him and our friends, not only do I have to train the baby, but I have to train the daddy too! We are really good about our bedtime routine and DH will handle the rocking/putting her to sleep at least half the nights or we'll take turns if she wakes up right away.
I can also tell he TRIES sometimes when I have just done something interactive with the baby (lead-by-example?) i.e. reading flash cards and working on motor skills. Then he'll try to do a bit if I need to step away for a bit. But , I think he has a short attention span for that kind of stuff so far... -
@shopaholic: word. To all of this....yes.
-
Yes! My dh is great about watching lo, but he can't figure out how to interact without the tv. I went out with a friend tonight and asked him to try harder...so he started showing lo videos of himself on the iPhone! He's like "he's looking at himself." Yeah ok and how is that different from tv? So frustrating!
-
Yep! DH is the same way. If I leave I have to tell him when she needs to take a nap. She will start tiger fussy and he just leaves her sitting in his lap. I am like get up and see if that helps . I think it is just DH doesn't know what to do with her at this point. Since she doesn't really play with toys or anything. He is so cute with her but I think his ADD kicks in so he just sits down on the couch and she likes sitting facing out and loves the TV. We put her on the floor to play in her activity mat and she will turn her head to see TV. So annoying last week she found it anywhere so we moved our leather chair to block it.
-
I feel like I wrote this. Wtf guys.
-
I think it's an age thing. I think it's hard for them to want to interact (not help out or take care of) our LOs when the babies done really do anything. DH has gotten much more interactive with LO as she's gotten older and developed her own little personality. She really is a lot more fun to hang out with now
-
I think it takes time. I'm sure there are days when you're like - What else can I do with this baby that I haven't already done 1,000x?? Maybe you can give him some ideas of things to do with the baby. And it'll get better as your LO gets older and can actually do stuff. DH started taking her out a lot on his own after 1 year so you'll get your break eventually.
-
Yepppp. DH is extremely helpful but his go-to entertainment tactics are tv, video game, or swing.
-
We solved this by not having a tv
-
Same in our house.
Yesterday I asked him to start the bedtime routine by reading to L and I'd be in to nurse her in a minute. I go in and he's downloaded an iPad app and is letting her play video games before bed. Um, reading you're doing it wrong. -
I feel this way so many times! Extremely frustrating!
-
Well, I spend a large chunk of my day holding the baby and watching tv. I can't "do" much with her at this age. I take her places and we do tummy time, but I do spend a large chunk of my day chilling on the couch with her. So does DH. She faces us, not the tv.
-
Did you literally read my mind?? Except DH is playing video games. The baby can be screaming and he has to finish that round. It drives me crazy!!! And he always thinks LO is hungry, he can have eaten 2 minutes ago, but he is crying so he is hungry.... That's how my DH thinks.
-
@Smurfette: THIS is K too! She will turn and face the TV if she can! I always turn her on the activity mat so faces the opposite way.
@Mrs. Polish: @TurtleDoves: @Mrs. Jacks: @BabyBoecksMom: @cheert16:
-
We're trying to do the no tv before 2 thing (with some rare exceptions) so I think it makes it easier to just take that temptation off the table entirely. We both still spend too much time on our phones, but it def helps us interact with LO the vast majority of the time. It's too easy to get sucked into tv if it's on!
-
@shopaholic: it is amazing to me how she can turn her head around so she can see the TV. This was a couple weeks ago, I had her facing the back of the couch so she couldn't see the TV. I was talking and playing with her and for up to fold laundry. This is what I came back too. She scooted herself around so she could see it! Stinker!
-
We haven't had our babe yet, but were worried about this since we both used to have the TV on in the background A LOT (I'm guilty, too), so the TV is actually on the third floor of our townhouse and we have agreed that baby girl will not be in front of it or the computer before 2 (other than maybe skyping with the grandparents since we live so far away from both sets). Tough, but we are getting used to it!
-
@oliviaoblivia: omg, i totally stopped asking DH to start the bedtime routine because he would show L youtube videos because "he liked it and calmed him". possibly, but do we want to start at 6 months the habit of watching tv to go to sleep?! now i only ask him to star the routine when i am planning to give some bottled BM and he can feed it to her. or i call him when i need him to sing.
-
@shopaholic: in general, i felt this way a lot in the beginning. But then L decided he didn't like sitting on our lap so much and so we have to get up and walk around or do other things. So DH can no longer sit and watch TV a quarter as much as he used to! Now i am working on getting him to not give the pacifier so much!
-
I could have written this to a T! So friggin frustrating. I really hope DH will get better as LO gets older, and I do my very best to lead by example.
-
I used to get really frustrated with my DH for this, but I've decided that I can't control everything, and there's no such thing as perfect parenting. I lead by example, and on the weekends we do a lot of fun activities as a family, and I'm home with my LO during the week, interacting or taking her out. On weekdays, my DH hangs out with our DD in the AM and lets me sleep in a bit before he goes to work (I have a home-based business and often work until 2 AM or later), and if he occasionally has the TV on or is sending emails from his iPad while our LO is playing, I just remind myself it's not the end of the world. LO is smart, active, funny, talkative, interacts well, and it hasn't hurt her to be exposed to a little technology.
-
DH mixes it up with our little man but is pretty active baby watcher. Today, they did their skin to skin tummy time nap (hubs watched a documentary on his iPad while LO slept), walked/bounced/sang, playmat playtime, and snoozed on boppy while dh watched the baseball game on tv. And I got to nap for 3 glorious hours.
Hope your hubs can find some more fun, non TV moments with K !! You deserve a break, mama.
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
30 comments