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Both touchy and annoying. Touchy because these questions are often phrased as "Does your baby sleep through the night yet?" so that if your answer isn't positive, it seems like your baby is behind/deficient in some way. And they are annoying because if you have to say no, people seem to expect an explanation or annoying because you have a newborn and OF COURSE, they don't sleep through the night.

I would say the first few weeks/months are so emotional and tumultuous that almost any question can seen as touchy.

"Are you nursing?" Always led to me to tears since we really struggled and I had a lot of guilt. Dd was a dynamite sleeper though so it felt good to share some news in an area that was going well. My BFF was vice versa - sleep questions drove her to tears since she wasn't getting any, but she was thrilled to talk about nursing since it was going really well.

I don't think it's touchy and I have a toddler that is not a good sleeper right now. It's only touchy when people think that our method is not good or has led us to our issues. You don't know my kid, person!

Eek, I ask new parents this all the time (is s/he letting you sleep at all?) and never thought it could be bothersome! I guess so many new ppl gush all over the baby I thought balancing out the gushing with that gives them a chance to vent a little without feeling bad? But maybe it just bugs them

I think it can be... there is so much judgement surrounding all things parenting. But there is not much to say about babies, especially for those that haven't recently parented of an infant. "How's he pooping?" "Does she spit up a lot?" "Has he scratched himself on the face lately?" I think that sleep questions are the easiest for people to ask!

@Mae: me too-I usually do this, fully expecting the answer to be "no." Whoops...

I think a lot of times it is mentioned because a new baby is the complete focus of new parents, but all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. It's hard to make conversation. Most people don't want to talk about poop, so after asking how the mother is feeling and how the baby is doing, most conversations turn to sleep. I do think people should be more considerate when asking questions and offering advice!

It's only touchy for me when it's followed by "you should really sleep train." Our family has decided that sleep training, at least at this age, isn't for us, so it's annoying to constantly hear that my child would sleep if I just let her CIO.

It's not a touchy subject, but it is def a common question that we got all the time after we had DS. I think it's just generally a topic that most people (parents and non) associate with having a baby so they ask immediately if you're getting any (or not).

I've had a good sleeper since 3 months+ and we get the "yea right" look from ppl who don't believe us. And others who say that they've had the same experience as us.

Yeah absolutely. Not for me, but i've been fortunate enough to have a good sleeper who only has rough days/nights every now and then. I was commenting in a post the other day and was getting shitty attitudes because "not everyone's babies sleep like that" "hope my next baby is like yours" etc.. I don't get offended when people ask about LO's sleep and I don't think it's rude to ask other parents (especially with LO's close in age to my own) about their babies sleep. I truly believe moms take it too personally. If your baby doesn't sleep IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Some babies do, some babies don't! I think that is what causes most of the "touchyness"...is parents thinking it reflects on them or their parenting styles. Which 99.9% of the time, it doesn't.

But, it's parenting. Everything you ask, no matter how innocent is a touchy subject to someone out there!

We got lucky and have an amazing sleeper, so usually when I get this question it's from other moms who want to commiserate with me, and they don't always respond very nicely despite the fact that they're the one who asked!

I get kind of annoyed that people keep asking me if he's STTN yet. He's 4 weeks old. Of course not.

Its totally a touchy subject for me. We were in sleep hell for like, 7.5 months straight, and I hated all the unsolicited advice about sleep training etc etc. We have a neighbor that I avoid to this day because she always asks me about working and sleep, and follows it up with humblebrags about how she's soooo lucky her perfect children are perfect sleepers and that she doesn't work. Go kick rocks, lady.

It was touchy for me only because people would say things like "Wow, your baby isn't sleeping through the night yet?" as if something were wrong with my baby. Not all babies sleep through the night on the same timeline!

It wasn't touchy for me, but I was pretty exasperated with LO's sleeping and was willing to try anything at one point.

@MrsTiz: I don't know if you're referencing my response, or if I'm thinking of the same post, but if it's the one I'm thinking of, Moms saying "OH I just plopped him in the bouncer and showered/did whatever" were a big part of why I had such a hard time coming to terms with my LO's crappy newborn sleep, and that it didn't have anything to do with me and how I was handling it. Which is why I wanted to point out that not everyone's kid sleeps like that! In case any preggos were reading, with unsleepy babies in their bellies

It's just an annoying question if your baby isn't sleeping well, I think. If you're sleep deprived, that is all you can think about (or at least all I could think about) so to have someone ask on top of it is just frustrating. I totally get that it is an innocent question, but when you're used to hearing it followed up with unsolicited advice or opinion on how their sleep should be at that age, or how their kid's sleep was at that age, it becomes a knee-jerk kind of thing, I think.

Once his sleep WAS getting good, then I just felt guilty telling someone who was asking, when I knew their LO's sleep wasn't what they wanted.

As someone who never had a sleepy newborn, I never ask about another baby's sleep. I pretty much don't ask anything other than "How are you two doing!" and "Can I do anything for you?"

@Foodnerd81: your last sentence made me LOL. Any time I see a baby blissfully sleeping in a wrap or a stroller I STILL get a twinge of envy, which is crazy.

@scg00387: i completely agree! You'll see a trend in the responses in this thread...those with good sleepers say they don't mind being asked about sleep. Those with not-as-great sleepers find the questions annoying. Shocker .

My LO wasn't a sleepy newborn either but he has always been a decent night sleeper (not the best and not the worst). Since becoming a mom, I've made a conscious effort to:

1) never ask specifically about sleep
2) not offer advice about sleep unless asked
3) not sound braggy about my LO's sleep if another mom asks me about it

@MrsH: not for me! I accepted long ago my daughter is a crap sleeper! haha although it's much better now.

i think it can be and every kid is SO different! i get annoyed for other friends whose kids are terrible sleepers. mine was pretty good or maybe i just rolled with it better? she didn't STTN consistently (like maybe 10 times total) until we sleep trained at 13 months. i was fine with her wake ups until i wasn't anymore, if that makes sense?