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This stuff would not be okay with me.

Can you email them? I would literally copy and paste these concerns ... (minus the "fucks", ha). I'd ask for clarification on each point, and have them set expectations -- yes, you might need to adjust your expectations, but I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

#3 is totally normal. It sucks, though. If you're getting there at the end of the day, can you call before you leave to pick her up and talk to her teacher then? Chances are if she's just about to leave, it wouldn't be a big deal to have the floater in there 5 minutes early. At least until it is more of a routine to be there for LO.

ETA: Pennsylvania's ratio is 1:6. 1:7 seems too high. But chances are you'd see that ratio at any daycare in the state.

A lot of it sounds very normal to me. Our state ratio is 1:3 for under 2 though. But, there were 4 teachers for the infant ro (2 main teachers one of which was typically always there). There were some floaters, too typically at the end of the day defending when I got there. They frequently combined rooms at the beginning and end of the day, which I didn't mind since the person in the office always knew where everyone was.

I'd give it some time. They don't know you your your daughter yet, but they will learn. They have her best interests at heart and it just takes time. Let of daycare is definitely letting go of how you would do things and letting our kids adapt to a new routine. Unless something is truly potentially harmful, I would let them do their thing.

FwIW, the ratio seems high for my liking, but that's what you're probably going to find anywhere you go so not sure what can really be done there.

All of that sounds completely normal. They should work on getting to know her likes and dislikes though. At our center, the teachers at the end of the day are always able to tell us a bit about her day because the main teacher briefs them about each kid. I used to work in a daycare and the floaters are normal too, otherwise no one would get to go to the bathroom or eat lunch! Give it a few weeks and reassess then.

@Mae: Maryland. At 2 it bumps up to 1:5 or 1:6 o can't remember.

@Mae: I know it is a bummer, but seriously she will adapt. My thing was as long as they are paying attention to kids, making sure they are safe and cared for, I was okay. Daycare is a tough transition for babies and mamas!

Ours has early care people stay 730-3. Late care comes in at 3-530. Extra people if they are out of ratio come throughout the day. I used to be super annoyed no one could tell me how my kids days went, but when there are 22 kids and they've been there for two hours how can I blame them? It's so hard to keep and find good daycare workers. I have a good relationship with a bunch of them now and use them as personal sitters but I have been where you are. It was a huge wake up call/adjustment.

@Mae: I found the lead teacher to be a great resource. Even if she wasn't there I could always ask her to find out info for me and I could text her any time day or night. is there a lead teacher you can talk to?

Echo others that it all sounds fairly normal to me. I would be perturbed about the not listening to instructions, but honestly I have that stuff happen and let it go if it's not a big deal -
Like with the milk, if they try to give it to her, and she doesn't drink it, no skin off my back bc they are just causing extra work for themselves, not really affecting her that much.

We started in a center with about 200 kids, and the in/out and combined rooms was very similar. We switched to a center with about 100 kids, and it is so much more homey! He has 2 main teachers, and when it's not them, it's the directors who sub in at the end of the day, and I feel like everyone really knows my child. At the 200+ center I pretty much got sick to my stomach about leaving, so the smaller one has really helped!

Our state ratio is 1:6 in California, so it doesn't seem really that different. We are in a licensed in-home daycare and so far so good, if you have that as an option. There are 6 kiddos under 2 and then a few school age kids come for aftercare in the afternoons. There is a husband and wife team and their adult daughter as an assistant. They follow all our instructions, they let us know how DS' day went, and while being at someone's house was something I had to adjust to, they are very warm and loving. It might be closer to what you're used to as a SAHM.

Sounds normal to me except for the milk thing, all the teachers should learn that soon enough. Even despite it being normal, if you're not comfy with it I hope you can find something that better suits your needs.

For what it's worth, I worked at a daycare like this and wouldn't have issues sending me child to one. I personally think kids benefit from a variety of teachers, and the regrouping at the end of the day makes sense and exposes them to different-aged peers.

@Mae: I don't really understand your last comment, but if you don't think they actually care about your daughter and are looking for her/you to "give up" then it's time to find a new daycare. Period. They SHOULD care about your child, and it should be obvious.

That said, you might have to calibrate your expectations from SAH to multi-child caregivers. There are almost always going to be overlap/floaters and some communication issues. The milk thing - my LO refused milk after transitioning from formula, and refused it for weeks and weeks. They offered it at lunch every day and she refused. Then, one day she decided to drink what all her buddies were drinking at lunch and guess what, now you can't give her enough milk. Point is, why let that annoy you? Worst case she keeps refusing; maybe she also decides to drink milk. If they are not angry about it, why let it get under your skin? I would expect them to offer milk to every child if that's what they are serving, barring allergies obviously.

2 and 3 seem totally normal to me. At DD1s large center daycare, there were 3 rooms for each age group, and they were open from 7a-6p. So one room (Infant 2, for example) would be the room that was open at 7a. DD1 was in Infant 1, but her primary teacher worked 8-3. So if I had to drop off before 8, I left her with the teachers in Infant 2. Then her teacher would get her and take her to her classroom once she arrived. Infant 1 was the "closing" room that was open until 6p (so all babies that were there after about 430-5ish would be taken there). My DD1s primary teacher would leave at 3, and an older lady (retired from her previous job, loving on babies now) would come work the 3-6 shift with another girl who worked 10-6. So they were all kind of staggered, and there was combining of classrooms since so few kids were there at 7a or until 6p. But my DD1 had a primary teacher the whole day -- her "main" teacher from 8-3 and then the older lady from 3-pickup. I could talk to either about her day.

The communication varied a lot from classroom to classroom (and teacher to teacher).

@Mae: The fact that they are not giving her water is a bit worrisome. H was always offered water because she wouldn't drink milk (and now she loves milk). I would remind them to push water daily. Write it on her paper if you have to. It's not a big deal that they keep offering milk with meals, but she should have access to water too.

@Mae: Sorry you're having a rough transition, the water issue is particularly frustrating. Daycare is so hard in the beginning because you're never going to like their actions until you've built some level of trust. Keep looking for alternative daycare options. If in a week or two things don't seem better you'll be prepped to move.

A feeling of love and caring was very important to me. While I originally thought we definitely wanted DD in a center we found (out of lack of options) that a large in home worked great for us. So much love and the women are friends so there hasn't been turnover. Yes, they still make mistakes but I am certain my kids are cared for all day.