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I am also terrible about picking up daily! Our house looks like it's owned by a 2 y/o that let his parents crash at his house.

Growing up though we did not have toys in the living room. We could bring our barbies out to the living room to play in the floor, but they had to go back the minute we were done with them (Not even wait until we were done in that room). We were allowed to bring puzzles and playdoh to the kitchen table, but again, they went straight back to the room.

My dad's mom was a mean old lady, that raised 6 kids on her own in the 50s-70s... soooo I think a lot of the strictness came from that.

Are our husbands the same person? Mine said his parents said the same thing and he had two boxes of toys to play with and they were all cleaned up and out of the way when not in use.

Before we had kids/ early on with our first he had a firm stance on no toys everywhere, but that has since disappeared. I put little baskets everywhere basically and we have a playroom also. It makes my life easier even though it can be a bit messy around here sometimes. I usually clean up all the toys until friday and then I’m tired.

My living is def where the most toys are! It’s often a mess and idgaf! My husband hates it. But you know until he starts having the kids all day I don’t care. If he’s so bothered he’s welcome to pick them up

We have a very tiny house (like 800-850 sq ft). We have two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen. Right now we have toys in the living room since that is where they play. But we will be redoing their room next month and all toys will be housed in there. However, they will be allowed to bring toys into the living room to play with. We clean up every night before bed anyway so I don't see that changing.

Toys are in the playroom. They're also in my son's room, but not in the living room. We just don't have the ability to leave things in the living room because it's a pass through kind of situation.

I let toys stay out in the playroom. To me, that's the room's function!

Your layout sounds similar to ours... we don't have a play room and my 2 LO's share a room, with one toy box (full). So they sometimes play in their room, but most of the time are in the living area. Basically an entire wall of the living area is toys (cube storage), a matchbox table, and a kitchen, not to mention the trampoline behind the couch.

DH likes to think that once our basement if finished the toys won't migrate down there, but I'd love to have THAT be our playspace, so our argument will be saved till then.

We have a lot of rooms, so right now the toys are almost all in what was the formal living room (now affectionately known as the toy dump) and in the upstairs playroom (an extra bedroom, which is where the big things like the play kitchen go). We have a family room, where the tv is, that is mostly toy free, most of the time. Both living room and family room are off the kitchen, but not connected to each other, so I can keep an eye on them in the living room (toy dump) while I’m cooking or cleaning up. At 5 and 3, they can also play upstairs in the playroom without direct supervision- although that’s when the room becomes a disaster site with toys everywhere.

I think you have to have someplace on the main level that they can have toys and play. We don’t have tons of toys in their bedrooms since we have the other rooms. My biggest pet peeve is them taking toys from one area of the house to another, like they fill a bag with toys from the play kitchen (upstairs) and bring them down to the living room and they get scattered. And then they don’t play with the play kitchen because the accessories for it are all over the house.

My mom tried to insist on no toys in the living room. Never ever ever happened for her.

We have a small playroom but DD (4) still plays in the living room at least 75% of the time. We don't allow many toys in her room, just stuffed animals and some books. Almost all toys live in the playroom. She can bring whatever she wants to the living room or dining room when playing but it all gets picked up before nap and again before bed. We started having her help clean up when she was little, basically as soon as she could pick something up and put it in the toy box. In the beginning she would do one or two things and we would do the rest. As time has gone on more and more shifts to her but we still help.

In our old place all toys lived in the living room and we still cleaned up before nap and bed. It would look like a disaster throughout the day but that doesn't bother me.

Growing up non of my toys lived in the living room but we always had a separate playroom. I was allowed to use the toys wherever but always had to put them back.

@Ajsmommy: I read a book (I can’t remeber which one) but it said if you’re the only one bothered by something ie kids messy room, husband leaving jacket on couch etc you can either live with it or do it yourself. You cannot force other people to care. So that’s what I would say here - if he’s the only one bothered it’s his problem

It depends on the size of your house I think. Space is not an issue with the houses in our area. So far most of the houses we've visited for playdates have a play room / attic / basement where all the toys are contained, and no toys are in living / dining room. Same with us. It is pretty typical. The only toys we have in the living room are the board games and card games that are stored in the coffee table. I can see it being an issue if a family is in an apartment space -- I visited my friend in Hong Kong. She is a super neat freak, but yes there are toys in the living room because there is just no room for kids to play in.

We started having a toy room when DS was around 3 years old? It is in an area which I can't monitor at all times. I think I was comfortable with DS playing in it alone since then. All his toys were in his bedroom before that.

Can you even assign a room for the kids to play in? I think once your younger LO is 3 you'd feel much better about not having to watch them play at all times. The toyless living area will make your mood better too

@Ajsmommy: @gotkimchi: haha love the back and forth between you two! We do not have a play room--I do not understand how people can have that much space but alas I live in the SF Bay Area. We have a giant ottoman in our living room that serves as foot rest/coffee table/ toy storage and it is awesome. The kids throw everything in there before bath/bedtime and it's super easy because no order is needed in there, and then it's out of sight/out of mind. My husband suggested doing some crazy container store fancy organizational system for toys and I was like huh? why? that just sounds like more work for me! Good luck and keep us updated...

We don't have a toy-free living room but the living room is where toys must be picked up and put away before bed each night (or if we have guests, or whatever). We have a dedicated playroom and we let the kids leave toys out in there if they'd like. I don't care about bringing toys in the living room or kitchen but we all clean them up together (18mo, 4yo, me & DH) before we go up for bedtime. In our living room, we have built-ins with cabinets so the toys that belong there go there. We also have a basket for library books that tucks away and those must be put away at the end of the night too. & anything that "lives" in the playroom goes back there. DH and I are both pretty neat by nature, so it's important to us that our kids learn those habits. They don't clean up everything every night, but more times than not.

I think the thing is -- your husband says he wants a toy-free living room, but it seems like the more useful lesson would be to teach the kids to pick up after themselves. It will take more work than a blanket "ban" but it pays dividends. I think you're fooling yourself a little if you think a 4 year old who thinks it's okay to leave pj masks toys on the couch won't turn into a 13 year old who leaves his shoes/backpack/etc underfoot.

One other strategy I find useful -- toys that have little parts (e.g., matchbox cars, batman figures, etc) are all stored in baskets with handles in our playroom. When those are taken out of the playroom, the basket comes with them so they are lot easier to clean up for little kids. Even my 18mo can pick up the basket of batman toys and drag them into the living room, so she can take them back when we are finished (yes, with prompting).

@Ajsmommy: LOL--the counselor will tell you to just clean up more? Uh, unless this counselor has time traveled from 1950, I don't think so. OTOH I was just telling my husband I think we need a neutral observer to come to our house to figure out how our disagreements wind up escalating, of course because I'm so confident he is the one who starts out grouchy and raises the temperature unnecessarily. Basically, I want a referee to come to my house and tell DH that he started it, because I'm five years old. Sounds like your husband's maturity level on this may be somewhere near mine.

We have two preschoolers in a small two bedroom apartment, and the layout sounds similar to yours. We have toys in the dining room and living room - there is nowhere else to put them! But we do make an effort to pick up with the kids before dinner, and my husband and I will finish putting toys away while the other puts the kids to bed. The clutter stresses me out, so I get where your husband is coming from, but there is no alternative! I also think it's unrealistic to expect an almost 3 and 5 year old (my kids' ages) to always pick up after themselves. I just try to model good behavior ("oh look, mommy is picking up these magnatiles so no one trips on them") and cross my fingers that it will rub off on them!

@Ajsmommy: we have a main playroom on our third floor but still have toys everywhere else bc to me, it’s not feasible to expect young kids to play in one area only. Clutter and messes make me very anxious though, so two things have helped enormously - ample storage and a bedtime cleanup. There are toys for days in our living room and our house is old so the closets are teeny tiny, so most furniture does double duty; for example we have large tv cabinet/console thing in the living room that all the “downstairs toys” get put in so that I don’t see them. And upstairs, our ottomans open for storage so some stuff can go in there. And at night, everything gets put away. It just makes my soul feel better The one area we really need work on, and that drives me crazy, it art projects and art supplies. I haven’t figured out a great solution for that yet and it makes me crazy.

<< I mean I am tired after working 8 hrs, commuting 2 hrs, getting the kids, feeding them, cleaning up from dinner and then putting them to bed... >>

Wow, that's a lot of hard work! Totally understand why you are tired.

What does your DH do during that time?

Growing up there were no toys in the formal areas: living room or dining room. My brother and I shared a toy box that was kept behind the couch in the family room. Our rooms were filled to the gills with toys.

In this house LO has toys in a play area that I can see from the kitchen, his room and inside built-in closed storage in the great room LO has his dress up clothes and the coffee table contains a tray of action figures. He also has access to a lower kitchen cabinet that houses his art supplies. We don’t have a formal living room. LO does a great job picking up after himself. If he drags something from the play area into the great room it’s easy to return it. We clean up as we play meaning before taking out something new we put toys back. Everything has a designated place so if I have to clean up solo it’s still a breeze.

In our new home we won’t have the square footage or built in cabinets to have toys neatly placed throughout the house. I am planning to have the majority of his toys in the play area. Right now his play area doesn’t have a TV, but the new one will and that will ensure we aren’t going up and down the steps just to watch a show. For the main living floor that also has the kitchen I plan to have one basket of toys/ books, his action figure tray and a bin for dress up clothes. I want there to be enough things to occupy him while I cook in the kitchen.

@jape14: totally agree. From infancy LO picked up that we put away before moving on to something new. I’m naturally a very messy person and even though LO is my child I cannot stand other people’s mess. Avert your eyes from my kitchen most days LOL.

@gotkimchi: yes, I read the same thing about if it matters to you more then just do it yourself. I push in all the chairs in the house because it’s not worth the hassle!