Hellobee Boards

@mrbee: Here's what she says in the article "So overall, yes, breast is probably best. But not so much better that formula deserves the label of “public health menace,” alongside smoking. " I don't really disagree with that statement but I think if that's her sentiment than she just chose a headline to make it tabloid science.

@zippylef: I don't disagree, which is why I said it doesn't take into account factors about the mothers situation. But a concise phrase has utility otherwise it becomes a john kerry speech.

It doesn't offend me but it hurts my feelings. I tried very hard to BF but it did not work out for a variety of reasons including that I had a crazy supply, my son was low birth weight, had reflux an MSPI. He would scream and cry at the breast which resulted in me crying daily for the first 6 weeks of his life more or less. I ultimately decided to exclusively pump for 4.5 months of his life. Then quit before I went back to work bc it was too hard.

Saying breast is best implies it's best for everyone which simply
isn't the case. If breast is best and I didn't choose it for my son, what kind of mother am I?

what @zippylef: said

It's really SUCH a touchy subject. Do I think it's best? Personally, I think it's more what *should* be considered the norm. Formula feeding is artificial feeding, and it's just never going to equate with what our bodies make for our babies to perfectly nourish their growing bodies and brains. Having said that, formula still does a pretty good job. I have had to supplement since my baby was 5 months old with formula (she was tongue tied and my supply tanked as a result). Do I wish I didn't have to? Yes. Am I grateful for the option of formula and to make sure my baby has a full belly? Absolutely. It is true that breastfeeding is associated with lower rates of certain cancers, for both mothers and babies, a 50% lower risk of MS, better vision, palate development, jaw and speech development, better hearing, lower obesity risk, on and on. An interesting thing, and quite controversial, to think about, is that it could also be said that artificial feeding is associated with *higher* risks of these, if considering that breastfeeding, not formula feeding, is in fact the norm. I really wish our culture was more open to it as a whole and that there were more milk banks available for mamas like me who simply don't produce enough, or for mamas who have such a hard time that for their own mental health, they need to move on from nursing.

@erinpye: yes to this.

I think in order to make breastfeeding "best" you need an army of support and many factors to fall into place (latching, milk production, MSPI/dietary, and knowing where to go for help).

I think the statement while not always meant that way can be used very judgementally and defensively and I think that it is the medical "Ivory Tower" way of thinking... in that ideal world, yes it is best.

My hospital and pediatrician were very supportive of breastfeeding, they made sure to check our plans and preferences, and had it noted everywhere. But when my son had high bilirubin, we weren't given a choice- my milk wasn't in yet, and we needed to feed him, so he was given formula. I am very grateful that we had it readily available so I could take a healthy baby home.

This is the least judgy place I have ever seen with mommies involved, but I still see the two camps against each other too often (pro-breastfed vs. pro-formula or pro-drugs vs. pro-natural birth). There is no wrong answer as long as our babies and moms are healthy- mentally and physically. We need to stop feeling the need to defend our choices and be proud of our decisions to have healthy families. Just realize that very few take this decision lightly. End of rant

I don't think it's offensive, but I think that assumes that both you and the person you're saying it to understand the unspoken additions to it... "Breast is best... IF you have the desire to make it work... IF you are able to pump after you go back to work... IF your child doesn't have special needs that makes FF preferable... etc. etc. ... AND, if you decide to formula feed, it's ok and your kid will still thrive." Reasonable, rational people understand all those "ifs" but it's the people that don't acknowledge the "ifs", and who see formula as terrible, that make it an offensive phrase.

I think it's still a phrase worth saying though-- unless we all start saying "Breast is best if you can make it work, but if you choose to or have to formula feed it'll be ok too."---> doesn't exactly roll of the tongue, does it?

For me, it does make me feel bad. I also struggled with breastfeeding, plus I take medication for migraines that aren't safe for baby so breastfeeding just wasn't in the cards for me. And it wasn't best. Before I had LO I wanted so so badly to breastfeed though. And after I had her I tried so so hard. And then to hear "breast is best" all the time, and to think that what I'm doing is not best..... well that just sucks.

Obviously I know that what I did is best for LO and for me. But I do feel judged for not breastfeeding. I feel like I have to explain myself all the time to people, when really it's none of their business. My baby is perfectly healthy and that's all that matters.

@ValentineMommy: I completely agree with your first sentence...as well as your last!

I'm not offended but I also never hear this phrase spoken out loud. I've seen it on a couple of old school posters but that's it. I've been to dozens of breastfeeding meetups and clinics and I haven't heard 'breast is best' uttered once.

I was going to say the EXACT same thing as valentine mommy did in her first statement. And I think it's because of this (having the desire to do something and then having it not work out) that causes the feelings of failure and the hurt feelings. I get it. We had to supplement the first few days of LOs life and I was really upset about it. Then a very nice, very matter-of-fact nurse told me that we would either have to feed him formula or hook him up to an IV in the NICU... So I chose to supplement.

I am personally not offended, but I'm a breast feeding mom who was able to make it work. It would probably hurt my feelings if it hadnt.

Totally agree with red seattle's last sentence though.

I think, at the end of the day, it's a nice tag line to promote breast feeding and it's values. There are a lot of women who are creeped out or think its icky to breast feed their babies, and I think a lot of that stems from previous generations and their outlook on it. "Breast is best" is helping to educate, just like "back to sleep" has been used. It's a marketing tool if its anything.

Bottom line- no mom should ever feel offended or judged for making decisions that they do about what's best for their baby.

I don't think it's offensive. If someone says it to someone who can't nurse then it sucks, but usually it's not said in a malicious/offensive manner.

I do find it a little offensive. It has a narrow-minded connotation (especially when used by certain people).

Yes, breast milk is best for a baby nutritionally. But it doesn't matter if it comes from breastfeeding or pumping and using a bottle.

(many "breast is best" advocates I've come in contact with automatically assume a bottle = formula). When I fed LO breastmilk, it was all pumped - we preferred bottle feeding.

So, here's my take on it (as a non-mama). Most of the time when I've heard or seen this phrase, it's along with a commercial for formula. I could be wrong, but I think it is has since been picked up by the general public, and certainly used in a condescending or rude manner. I think it's offensive to criticize or editorialize on someone else's personal choices, if they aren't explicitly harming someone, period.

However, I do think it is good to include these kinds of messages in advertising and make the idea of "breast is best" more prevalent in general society. Most higher income, educated women like ourselves understand the benefits of breastfeeding, hope to do so, and may not be able to or choose not for different reasons. However, lower income women often don't have support or the proper information to breastfeed. Their employer may not allow for it, or they are pushed formula samples in the hospital, or whatever it may be. The fact is that there is still a long way for us to go in society, even if in our more affluent circles we may not think so. Part of that, I think, is emphasizing that it is best for babies.