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Holy cow! That's insane! My MIL is definitely not that old fashioned. She is in some ways, but was a working mom, so she's definitely not like your MIL!!

Oh wow! I'm sorry that happened to you:(

I don't think I would have said a word & would have left DH to have at her. Then we would have left, I'm not sure if I'd go back after such cruel treatment!

MIL is very old fashioned. She does all the cooking, cleaning, serving. She isn't even allowed to have her own paycheck or car! She doesn't think DH should ever cook or do laundry, whatever, I work more than he does and it has to get done. In their house they can do whatever they want & I might disagree with it, but I will always be respectful, I expect them to do the same in our home. If not- they're welcome to leave. I'm sure once we have a LO it will get worse, but they already had their chances to raise their families as they saw fit.

WOW. That is not ok. DH is right, she needs to respect YOUR family's decisions. This is not the 50s and 60s anymore. Since when is parenting your sole responsibility? DH shouldnt have to partake in any responsibility? This is absurd. Im amd for you.,

My MIL isnt old fashioned, but that doesnt make her any less of a PITA lol.

Wow! I'm sorry she acted that way towards you! My MIL is old-fashioned in that she does most of the cooking/cleaning, etc. but she raised her boys to be independent and be able to cook and clean for themselves, especially since FIL wasn't raised that way!

I'm glad your DH piped up and said something to her... regardless of how she feels about your parenting methods, she should keep her opinions to herself! She had her chance to raise her kids and needs to butt out of what you and DH do!

omg! that is awful. I'm glad your DH stood up to her for you, though!

my MIL isn't necessarily old-fashioned as far as those things, but their religion (Jehovah's Witnesses) can definitely be. For instance, MIL and FIL wouldn't necessarily care that I was working or that my husband was helping out, but they are "old-fashioned" about other things..for instance, for people in their religion (such as DH's cousin), she and her fiance were not allowed to be alone together unsupervised until they were married.

Wow, that's seriously old fashioned! I'm glad your husband stood up for you. My dad was really hands on even though my stepmom was a SAHM. They worked together in the evenings to get things done. It's hard for me to imagine a dad who does nothing! My MIL has only done one thing that seemed old fashioned to me. When my husband and I were planning our wedding we mentioned that we were planning a week long honeymoon. She was really surprised. She said honeymoons are for loosing your virginity and that's it. Not for a vacation.

Wow, I would tolerate that attitude for about 3 seconds! My Dad was a very UNinvolved parent and it dramatically impacted my relationship with him. When I was searching for my DH I was very intent on finding a man who would choose to be involved in his children's care and upbringing. In my opinion, this only benefits their relationship and the whole family. DH's family is pretty non-traditional and I LOVE IT!

Sometimes, unfortunately, I think grandparents don't always know their place when it comes to their kid's families and choices.

Whoa!

Thankfully my MIL is not old fashioned at all. She's always worked full time, and always expected FIL to contribute 50/50 with cooking, cleaning and child rearing when they raised my husband (my FIL did more of the cooking and cleaning in fact). She's more likely to remind my husband (nicely) to make sure I'm getting enough rest and time for myself than to ever reprimand me about doing more for LO.

Oh gosh, I would have been so upset. I am sorry that happened to you!

No, my MIL isn't old fashioned. She is a full time teacher (one year till retirement) and my FIL retired last week. She is a self proclaimed terrible cook, and FIL does 90% of the cooking. They split everything flawlessly.

Growing up, FIL worked overnight and watched DH and his sister during the day.

I hope DH and I can make it work like that!

Yikes!!! My MIL is old fashioned in the sense that she does all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and what not (FIL doesn't know how to operate the oven...he proved that a couple months ago.) However, she doesn't comment on our decisions as adults/families.

DH's brother is a great daddy and does a lot of the child care as his wife works strange hours, and MIL always says how she's happy he turned out that way since FIL never helped with the boys growing up. He's a farmer and very traditional. It took me awhile to "train" DH to help out around the house and to pick up after himself!

Wow. You're MIL sure is honest, I give her that! Imagine if she was sneaky-sneaky and spewed passive aggressiveness. At least everyone knows full on what her gripe is and she can be dealt with accordingly. With a hissy fit like that, it's easier to write her off as looney!

Mine isn't old fashioned at all, thank goodness. But today she did say something about having my husband take such a long leave from work sure is helpful. I responded, "that's pretty obvious". But other than that, it was a good visit ^^.

Wow, I would not be ok with that! I don't blame you for leaving.

It's funny, I almost have the opposite issue with my MIL - she was the breadwinner in their family (a partner at a large global law firm, while FIL was a teacher) and sometimes I worry that she judges me for leaving a law firm for a more "family-friendly" job or the fact that once we have kids, I may want to by a SAHM/WAHM if possible. Although I must say I think I prefer my "issue" over the super old-fashioned views problem that you are having!

@autumnlove: I am struggling to figure out how to deal with the ILs now that my honeymoon is now over with them. It seems like there is a weird cycle of big fights/not talking/then "let's pretend it never happened" in this family and the thought of going through that repeatedly exhausts me.