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Hmm I would probably explore some other options and find out about availability elsewhere but give the teacher another chance. This isn't the same because I didn't have prior experience, but I always do not like the new teacher when my LO moves up just because I am attached to the old one and worried about the change. But then everytime I've ended up being super happy with the new teacher once I give them a chance.

Your situation is different obviously, but I would give her a chance to see if she is better with an older child. If it works out then it would probably also alleviate some of your guilt of their prior experience together.

That being said, we just have one LO now but it is pretty likely her and our 2nd will end up at different daycares when LO goes to preschool. As long as you can split drop-offs with the your DH then I don't think it is the worst idea.

I guess I would give her a shot and also explore my options. I will likely have 2 daycare drop offs in the future. I can't say how it will be, but I don't think it is too crazy if it works best for your kids!

If you end up going to a new daycare, it's not that bad. We're sending our two to different day cares because our old one don't have a pre K program, and it's working out well.

That teacher... I don't know her of course, but she sounds like she shouldn't be a teacher. That's a great way to talk about a child, and in front of him too. Although we do have one teacher at the old day care who at first gave us the vibe that she doesn't like kids very much. She's adjusted since and DD loves her, even though I was sure she'd give any day care teacher a hard time (she used to refuse bottles, and took forever to learn to walk so the staff had to carry her everywhere).

@HappyBaker: I'm sort of in this situation now, but it's my 4 year old in a class with a teacher who sounds like the one you described. This woman is older, used to teach previously, and just recently got back into it after being a floater within the day care. I didn't get a great vibe from her when she was a floater, and when I found out DS would be in her class, I was dreading it. I wish I could say she's gotten better, but it's just clear that she's doing this strictly for a job. She doesn't seem to like the kids, and she's always sitting at her desk in the room instead of interacting with the kids when I pick DS up. I wanted to give her a chance, but we're 3 months in, and she's not getting any better.

I'm really just not sure how to handle it. I love the center otherwise. My littlest just moved up a room, and he's transitioned beautifully because the teachers made it so easy. I know the next 2 rooms he'll be in have amazing teachers, because DS1 has had them and I loved both of them. I'm trying to see if I can just stick it out for the rest of this year. The assistant teacher in that room is pretty awesome, and she does interact with the kids quite a bit. DS1 has taken to her and talks about her constantly, so I'm thinking that might be our saving grace.

@HappyBaker: That's what DH keeps telling me. That if we get a bad teacher when they go to grade school, we won't be able to just switch them out. But I'm with you...these people are caring for our children right now, and I want them to have the best experience possible. It does make me feel better that the assistant is more like a teacher than the real one. She's also going to school for early education as well, so she's younger, but it seems as if she's caring for the kids almost as if they're her own.

I'm sorry you're going through it as well. I think I would speak to the director about your initial concerns. We're headed in that direction as well.

Personally, I don't think I would give someone a shot who talked negatively about my child in front of them to me. She's not even his teacher now so what is the point of her doing this? I would be too nervous her preconceived notions would affect how she treats him. I'd probably move both kids.

Also, when is the last time you've talked to the director about your issues/concerns? I would have a meeting again to say look, I'm open to giving a chance, but I want to let you know I"m still concerned and would like to have a plan ahead of time for how this is going to be handled.

@HappyBaker: I would want to keep both kids in one daycare because its the most convenient and probably the cheapest option since most places offer a sibiling discount. I think dropping off at two different daycares everyday would just be too much.

@HappyBaker: The more you talk about her, the more it sounds as if she has a specific issue with your son. I think that would bother me even more than generally a checked out teacher. Do you hear her talk about anyone else's kids in a negative way?

@HappyBaker: whoa, if you had to tell her not to talk at all if she can't find something positive to say, then it seems like there is a real issue. That's insane. And the director has just brushed off your concerns? That would worry me too. I agree with you that a whole year is a long time for a child--you really want someone that is nurturing to them and invested in them. And it doesn't sound like she's it.

There was a similar situation in our LOs old daycare. A coworker of mine has a daughter the same age as my oldest and said that their teacher would constantly only have negative things to say about her daughter at pickup. And a lot of it wasn't developmentally appropriate. Like the teacher would tell her almost every single day that "K" didn't have her listening ears on, or was having trouble sharing. And it wasn't what was said--this was a 2 year old class, so every single kid is going to be learning how to listen and follow directions and how to share. It was the fact that the teacher was only reporting negative stuff every single day, when her previous teachers/floater teacher only had positive things to say. It sucks to feel like a child is singled out, but you definitely want to be proactive and make sure you protect your LO from anything like that.

I'm super non confrontational, but I would probably discuss some talking points with my DH and then discuss those concerns with the teacher herself first. Say, Look....I'm going to be honest. Sometimes it seems like you don't like LO and I need to figure out if this situation is going to be a good fit for us next year. And give her a chance to talk.

If you aren't happy with her answers, and feel like she can't be loving and treat your LO as she would treat anyone in the class, then I would raise the issue with the director. And if the director brushes off your concern, I would definitely switch. Because then you know that's a daycare that doesn't have your LO's best interests at heart.

I would look into moving daycares. I will be the first to admit my DS is a handful compared to his peers (luckily he's also fun and sweet to make up for it). He's been with teachers who find constructive things to say, and with teachers who seemed to dislike him. Luckily the disliking teachers didn't last long at the daycare, but I had such bad anxiety during that period and got knots in my stomach at pickup waiting to see what awful thing he did that day.