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Following, my third has an August bday a week or so before elementary starts so I’m wondering how we will do it!

That said neither of my older kids had a friends party before 5. Their bdays are 11 days apart so they did have one shared party. For my son’s 4th bday this year, we did Chuck E. Cheese - we only invited his two cousins but we still booked it as a party (similar price), so he got the special recognition, I made themed cupcakes, had special plates, he got to take home their balloons, etc. So maybe that’s an option ... something where he gets recognition and a few friends you know will come but you’re not investing a huge amount in a venue. He loved it and no complaints when his older sister had a real friends party a week later.

My birthday is mid-August. I generally had smaller parties, but my good friends were usually around. It might be a hard sell at 4, but sometimes I chose to have a special day with just a couple friends instead. We would go wherever I wanted, eat whatever, etc. Even a short out-of-town trip (there’s an amusement park about 3 hours from where I grew up). I understood that choosing that meant I didn’t have a lot of people along.

@Anagram: I guess it’s possible other adults thought it was strange to have a small party (there were 3 parties going on and we had just 5 kids and 4 adults at our long table!) but the kids didn’t think a thing about it. I was busy thinking about what the big parties must have cost

For my kids there is a big element of talking it up and setting expectations. That was actually the first time we had ever been. But if you book it as a party they get to go up with the big mouse for the birthday song, they get a special “watch” (wristband) to play games instead of just the card, they get to take the balloons home - we talked up all that stuff. He did ask me a couple times if his best preschool buddy could come and I just said next year. So I’d figure out who can come and then really talk up those friends.

I would have the party at the very end of the summer when everyone is getting back to town. Last year a kid in our class had a party immediately following the classroom play date where you meet the teacher before school starts. Everyone went straight from the classroom to the party. Attendance was high.

@Anagram: are your kids in any kind of summer program? I have a July baby turning 4 so we are just inviting his summer group to his party, plus some friends from his previous class that he asks about a lot. We are doing paper invites since the kids are all at the center where the summer program is.

I agree about the short attention span but I do think at this age the party itself is a lot of the attraction .

DD is turning 6 in August and we had her birthday party last week. We knew a lot of people go away in the summer (including us!) and she wanted to have her party while everyone was still around. We are only going to do parties every other year as well. Everyone we invited knew her real birthday is in August but no one seemed to mind we held it 2 months early.

Do you think she would go for a party at home that had some extra special thing like renting a bounce house or having someone face paint or come dressed up like a princess? If not, I would look for venues like Chuck E Cheese. I don't think a small party there would be weird, and I'm sure your DD would be excited.

@Anagram: We had about 10-12 kids roll over from our PK3 class to our PK4 class. I am not sure if the "new" kids were invited or if it was just the PK3 class. If it were me, I would try emailing the family advocate. I'd ask her to email the entire new PK4 class with a message asking them to email you their contact info so that you can invite their kid to your party. If anyone does not reply then it's not on you. That way you are not asking the school to provide you with the contact information directly. You are just providing yours so that the other parents can opt in.