and had no tears the entire day (yesterday), but today she cried. As some of you can probably remember, we struggled with this every.single.day last year. With such an awesome drop-off yesterday, full of smiles I thought she grew out of it. I just got home from dropping her off and I can't help but feel sad, frustrated and confused. I can't do this again every single day this year. What can I do? Why would she be so happy and willing to go yesterday and today she was not going to have it? Help me:(
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Aw, sorry! My 4.5 year old has been going to a TK at a new school and drop offs have been mostly smooth with 2 bad mornings. We had one yesterday and her teacher assured me that she did great the rest of the day. I definitely understand the sad feeling when it happens.
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We had no tears our first 4 drop offs at LO1s new Pre-K, and then today she was crazy all morning saying she didn't want to go, struggled against leaving the house, and then cried half the way there.
And then once we were there, she was fine.
Fingers crossed yours is a one-day adjustment!
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I think that is pretty common, the first day is all smiles, but then the reality sets in and the kids get anxious. I am not going to say it's going to get better, because some kids (like my son) just cry to relieve stress.
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Had the exact same issue - no tears on Monday (she practically threw me out of the classroom), big dramatic shows at drop-off yesterday and today. In part, I think she was just really excited on Monday, and the reality of what full day, every day means set in on Tuesday. But I don't know. Like you, I feel badly, and wonder if I made the right call sending her. I will say that at pick-up yesterday, she was hopping and happy and bursting with stories of all the fun things she did, and I've seen a few photos on the classroom app today that look like she is having fun... so I think a lot of the crying is drama, and is quickly forgotten once I'm out the door.
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No advice, but commiseration. My LO's been going to the same daycare since she was 3 months old and only started showing issues at drop-off when she was around 2.5 years old. She recently switched from the toddler room to the preschool room and now almost every drop-off is hard. No tears, but she clings and won't let me go until a teacher practically drags me away. I've asked the teachers for advice but they say to just continue doing what I'm doing. The consolation is that I know that literally as soon as I'm out the door, she is fine.
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Thanks guys. So last year I tried EVERYTHING to help stop the crying at drop off. Leaving quick, hanging around, her being first kid in, last kid in, bribes, etc etc etc. Then I would always talk to her about why she cries, blah blah blah. What if, I ignore it completely? Today at pick up don't bring it up, tomorrow before school don't bring it up and so on? Act like it's not happening? Maybe she was feeding off me giving her attention about it? Good or bad idea?
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@Bao: Good idea. I'm pretty cold when I leave DD1 - big hug and a kiss, then I'm out. I don't linger. I often give her a task, like "at pick up, I want you to tell me what you ate for lunch/what special you did/what book you read".
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@Bao: I found that not talking about it helps. DS was having a hard time transitioning to a new class and when I would mention it at home I could see him get an anxious look. So I stopped talking about it. It seemed to help so at least he wasn't being anxious prior to drop off. I would then drop him off with his teacher and was out. Lingering for us always made it a lot worse.
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@PinkElephant: @kodybear: I didn't linger today at all, it was so chaotic I just bolted. I felt bad but that's what I had to do last year eventually after I realized hanging around wasn't helping either.
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My sons aren't old enough for school, so I only have the daycare experience, but we've found if we talk to him in the morning about what he's doing to do as soon as he gets there then it helps give him a task and something that distracts him from getting upset.
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I'm sorry
The first couple days of school were good for us because LO was so excited, but then as she settled in we had a rough patch. Things are getting better though!
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@Bao: as long as she's doing fine the rest of the day, i'd *try* not to worry (easier said than done i know). my almost 4yo still has clingy issues and shes' been going to the same preschool since 4mo. haha so i think its just part of their personality. ds is usually the easy dropoff, but this last class transition messed up his routine for sure. the teachers are nice about giving updates on how well they are doing after i leave so i try to worry less now if they have a bad dropoff day.
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Try not talking about it. To her and about her when she is within earshot. If she thinks of herself as a crier it is hard to get out of the expectation.
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@Bao: Make your goodbye's routine. You go in, get her settled, get a hug and kiss goodbye, and you leave. The more you linger, the worse it is on her.
DS1 has issues with transition every year. He started his pre-K class last week (it's moving across the hall from where he was the week before), and he has had bad dropoffs all last week and this week. He'll whine and hang onto my leg or DH's leg. He's progressively getting better each day, and today he had no tears finally. Meanwhile, DS2 (who is 1) is reaching for his teacher before I can even unpack his bag! Sometimes it's the personality of the kid and nothing else. DS1 is my emotional little dude who wants to be with mom and dad all day every day. He loves school, but given the choice, he would be home.
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@808love: @2PeasinaPod: she didn't cry yesterday! Went in and helped her get seated for lunch, gave hug and kiss and said I would see her soon then left.
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@Bao: Perfect! Keep that routine up, but know that she may have some bad days here and there.
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@2PeasinaPod: yes, thank you so much!!
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@Bao: Lovely!!
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@Bao: that's awesome. I hope it continues!
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@looch: thank you
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@808love:
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@Bao: Yay! We had a tear-free morning this morning, too. I made a point of really pushing our routine along today so that I had time to read to her before we went to school. Not sure if that is what did it, but I was happy for a smoother drop off. Now to get my two year old to stop trying to join the pre-k class.....
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@PinkElephant: that's awesome!! Good job momma!
The first couple days of school were good for us because LO was so excited, but then as she settled in we had a rough patch. Things are getting better though!
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