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I was just thinking about this today. Our mc happened before LO, but it have two friends that have recently miscarried and both of them have been told this by people. It makes me so sad and mad. Not only is it insensitive, but why shouldn't a parent grieve over the loss of their child? Regardless of when it happens or how many other children they already have? Yes, you are very lucky and blessed to have your daughter, but being sad doesn't mean you're any less thankful for her. You're certainly allowed to grieve however you need to.

A loss is a loss, no matter what you have or don't have. My situation is different but I still feel sad about it, even with two babies...I'm sorry for your pain.

No, when I lost S, I lost her. DS lost her, too, which made it all even more sad to me, too. There WERE people who would say to be grateful for the little boy I have, and several have mentioned that this baby I'm having must "make up" for losing S, but no, it doesn't. S was S. DS is DS and LO is LO. If it were up to me, I'd have all 3 of them.

I have often wondered this and wonder if it would be any easier to have miscarriages after you already have one child, instead of before, I just want to be a mom so bad, and two miscarriages in a row have been tough. I often wonder what it would have been like to just have my first pregnancy work out, I think it would have been nice to enjoy a pregnancy without so much fear, I'm terrified to get pregnant again. I honestly don't know if I could cope with another.... I often look at a few of my friends and am jealous, not just of their LO, but also that they had a pregnancy with the innocence of not knowing loss. I wish I could have that innocence back.

That being said, I know what kind of heart ache a miscarriage is and I think it must be painful no matter if you have 10 LOs running around, a loss is a loss, I don't think any one should feel guilty about grieving.

Yes.. Absolutely. As I was being prepped for my D&C the doctor asked if I was still crying before confirming I already had one child and said it's ok, I'm lucky. I have one at home and I'm "young" (over 30 here). Then people mention God will know when we're ready for another. IDK about God, but I was ready 18mo ago when we started trying again, and I was ready when we finally hit gold and found out about baby #2 two months ago, and I was ready when I got to see our LO moving around on the ultrasounds with a strong heartbeat every time. Except Thursday there was no heartbeat. After 11 weeks I had to let go and hasn't stopped hurting, especially when I look at my toddler at home. I know what I'm missing and it makes this loss so much harder for me.