I posted last week about LO not doing so well at school, and possibly having some anxiety. I am meeting with her teachers today after school to talk about what we can do to help her. The parent advisor mentioned pulling her completely, but I would like to avoid that. I don't think that's what we should jump to right now. I am hoping you guys can help me think of anything I should ask/bring up while I am talking with them. I don't want to freeze up and not get my questions answered, that tends to happen a lot. I meet with them in about 2 hours so any help is appreciated!
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@Bao: I would focus on getting as many specifics as possible on exactly what sort of behavior they are seeing! Then once you have that information, you could work out (at home) the best way to manage each one...
Also, maybe it would be good to schedule a followup appointment in a few days/a week to discuss your thoughts?
GOOD LUCK!!
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@Bao: @Bao: Good Luck!
I would ask them what a typical day looks like for her. Starting at drop off, lunch, afternoon, and pick up.
How long does it take her to settle in the morning?
What things set her off during the day? (certain people and/or activities?)
What have they tried to get her to settle down? -
Ask if they notice whether or not certain things trigger her - or is she unhappy all day? What makes her happy/agreeable? How can you create a plan to work with those +/-?
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@mrbee: thanks, good idea about the follow up! @Mamaof2: she only goes for 3 hours, 3 days per week but I will definitely ask about that! I know she flips when they do anything out of the norm, no matter how fun it is. It was even suggested she not participate in holiday parties or any other fun activities (fire safety day, polar express day, etc) which really bums me out.
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@Bao: Do they work on transitions at all with her?
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@sorrycharlie: I'll have to ask that...I'm not sure. I know she gets sent to the office if she's unhappy.
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@Bao: I would ask if they try anything else before sending her to the office - for DS when he was anxious he didn't have to participate - he would sit with a teacher and hold her hand
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I would ask what things they are doing to help her with the morning drop off? What are her preferred activities throughout the day? Does she seem to be making friends? Have they dealt with children like this in the past and if so what worked then?
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Do you get a calendar of events so that you can find ways to help prep her? So if its fire safety day, the week prior, you guys talk about fire trucks, and firemen, and exactly what will happen/be different that day.
Also, my big issue with daycare is always the lack of communication. I want to know what she did well, what she struggled with, etc.
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You got a lot of good feedback here. I just want to say good luck. I hope it goes well and together a new plan can be implemented.
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Thanks everyone, I will update in a bit!
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@Bao: How did it go?
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@Mamaof2: oh yes, sorry I forgot to update the night got away from me.
We chatted for about 20 minutes and to sum it up, she doesn't want her pulled and that's the last thing she wants. She said she does struggle with what she thinks is separation anxiety and in her 8 years of teaching she hasn't noticed it to this extreme with others, although kids do struggle. When they have special days that are out of the norm, one of the two teachers or the director will go along with her to keep her comfortable. When they have sent her to the office the director is in there with her and there is books and toys. She says she thinks it's a great idea we are seeing her dr to hopefully get her into some type of play therapy. They said they are willing to do anything to help her, and we can work together on it. I feel really good about talking to them and feel like I'm not alone and trying to battle this myself.
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@Bao: yay! Glad to hear that it went well! I also think that therapy will do wonders for your LO!
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@Bao: I am glad your meeting went well and they are willing to support and work with your daughter. I don't know your whole situation but last year my son had a lot of issues on any sort of "special" preschool day that was outside of their regular routine. He would get very upset during transition times, especially if I was there for part of the day and then had to leave or even just going back to the routine after whatever different activity they were doing. It was so challenging! One time I just took him home with me, otherwise the teachers just dealt with it and tried to comfort him the best they could. Telling him in advance definitely seemed to help but not always.
This year is so much better, he still gets unsure and nervous but we haven't had any of the huge meltdowns like last year. I think because he is a little older and also I continue to prepare him in advance of what to expect and his teachers are aware that he may need a little more attention on those days.
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Great update! My son is due to start preschool next fall and I wouldn't be surprised if he had some anxiety, he's never had out of the home care. Following your posts is teaching me some of what to expect. Hope your daughter feels better with time!
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@Bao: Great update, I hope you are feeling better about everything?
Let me ask a question, so on these "special" days is the teacher not normally with the class? That strikes me as a bit strange if that's true. LO is in this same sort of environment except that it's full day. She travels to the cafeteria, PE, music, art and library throughout the day/week. At all times one of the teachers from her "class" is with her. So when in PE, her teacher goes with the class and stays while the PE teacher conducts PE.
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@Bao: I just read through your original post. I am dealing with the same thing. My son, who is typically extremely friendly and outgoing, cries hysterically at drop off. He'll be 3 in Feb and goes to school 2x a week and it hasn't gotten any better. The teacher says once he gets up to class he immediately stops and acts "normal". I have, however, seen him interacting in class when I come to pick him up....and he acts like a totally different kid than the one I see at home. He's reserved and shy. It's really weird.
Anyway, just wanted to say that you're not alone. Hugs!
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@Mamaof2: @Veggiemama: @MoonMoon: @MamaG: @ValentineMommy: thanks so much guys! I am feeling much better about it
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