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@lizzywiz: I can also relate to becoming less idealistic as I have gotten older and I have become much more focused on my career and finances. I think just growing older, experiencing more of life and definitely having LO's made me focus on the present and our future more and what I want for us as a family in a very concrete way i.e. good schools, neighborhood, money and the opportunities that it affords. I say embrace it, life has it's seasons and maybe the idealistic part has changed into something else!

I think a lot of people go through something like this. I believe they now call it a quarter life crisis. They have a big reflection on what they are doing.

A lot of my engineering friends went through this. I don't know what it is about engineers but they seem to have a moment in their life and decide why am I doing this? Then they quit their jobs (good paying jobs) and just travel the world to find themselves or start their own business. I'm going to say that engineering doesn't seem to be as rewarding as other jobs and I know a lot of engineers because I am one myself.

I have gone through moments of ... maybe I want to be a stay at home mom but that doesn't last very long.

All in all I think it's nice to stop once in a while and think about these things because so many of us just go through life without thinking. I think it's perfectly normal.

I'm definitely experiencing existential angst about next steps. The girls have gotten pretty easy and we haven't made any big moves nor do we have anything big to look forward to. I guess I keep looking for the next big thing and am wondering if that's supposed to be a baby or something else. I can't tell!

I can relate too!

I've always been one to take on more responsibility, and have been steadily doing so my whole life. Particularly with my family, I've always been available and guilted into doing whatever they need and dealing with whatever their drama is for the day.

And lately, I just can't be bothered to deal with them, and I won't be guilted into doing something I don't feel like doing! Even if it IS my "family".

I guess I've just been re examining my priorities, and it's time for me to do things for me!

I can definitely relate!

I was always a high achiever. I skipped a grade in elementary school and it's funny how that sort of thing cements you for life as "the smart kid who skipped a grade." Did really well in high school, graduated from college in 3 years and went straight to law school where I did well too. Always set and accomplished goals. I always pictured myself as a workaholic. Never wanted a house or kids.

But I met my husband while I was in law school and fell in love. I got a lawyer job and hated it. And suddenly I wanted a house and we got one and I love it. And then I got pregnant and then 3 days before I had LO I lost my job (which I hated anyways but I don't know what else to do).

So now I have a newborn and no job and law school loans. So I can't afford to SAH, and I don't really want to forever (although I would love if I could spend LO's first year here..). But I don't know what I want to do. Or what I'm qualified to do. And I feel like I don't have time to look even if I did know. Harumph.

I am in a constant state of flux, it feels like...the traditional things that are supposed to "ground" people don't make me feel grounded, I feel more trapped?

I think I just have permanent wanderlust and will want to move again soon. I don't see it as uprooting though, just as exposure to new things.

I definitely feel some changes. I have always been very career focused, and with a very over-stressed job, have been favoring better hours over money. I will soon be starting a new job with better hours (4 day workweek!) and less stress. DH is starting a business, so how he does in his business makes a much bigger difference in our bottom line than how I will do. I am feeling a shift to where his career is more important than mine. I don't know exactly how I like it, but I do like less stress and to have the bread-winning pressure off me.

So glad I'm not alone.

I've been feeling really lost lately. I'm so used to looking forward to the next big thing. In the past 7 years, I've had 2 graduations, an engagement, a wedding, a pregnancy, a baby, 2 new jobs, a house, a puppy and now that LO is a year and things are settling down a bit, I have time to myself to think and I've realized there is no next big thing. Being one and done is the right choice for us and I don't actually WANT another LO, I just don't know what I want.

I'm trying to plan trips to have something fun to do, something to look forward to, but getting some resistance from DH

tl;dr I can relate!

@Applesandbananas: I could totally have written this post, except we do plan to have a second baby at some point. I actually started thinking about TTC #2 much earlier than our original plan, even though we are definitely not ready! It has been hard transitioning from always having something new to look forward to and plan to just trying to enjoy life as is.

@irene: I can so relate to your novel I used to just take on whatever work I had to do, and stay as late as I had to so it got done. With a child... forget it. Now there's only the 9 to 5 day and whatever I have energy for at night, and I'm constantly behind on work. And it's impossible to plan ahead because you never know when a client needs something ASAP!

@blackbird: hey, I'm an engineer too! I think it comes with the job. I cannot keep up with the workload and I'm questioning if there's a point to it every day

All that hard work is getting my family nowhere - it helps put food on the table and pay the rent, but I see my kid for three awake hours a day if I'm lucky, and I'll never be able to give him a good education or any kind of awesome experiences in life. Probably not even a mother's love, because I'm not around that often When I was single I thought I'm on top of the world because I can pay my rent. Now I think I was so shortsighted! Should have been saving up so I can be a SAHM for a little while...

@lizzywiz: yeah, I actually applied for a new job today. Maybe a change of scenery will help!