My friend just suffered a miscarriage and I'm heartbroken for her. Would really like to send her a thoughtful care package. Any ideas? All I've got up my sleeve are some of her favorite snacks, and celebrity gossip magazines. I would send her one of my favorite books on loss, but she's not much of a reader.
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I sent a friend a few snacks. Something salty something sweet and something healthy.
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My friends sent me a few things which were beautifully thoughtful.
Flowers, a chocolate hamper, and some charms to symbolise the baby we lost.
I'm so sorry for your friends.
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Maybe one of those clove/bead/bean-filled pillows that you can heat in the microwave? I know mine has been really beloved to help with cramping. And maybe some good coffees/teas or other favorite beverage (say, a bottle of wine...if it doesn't have to travel far)? Definitely snacks, too. Very nice of you to think of her and want to help.
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@T.H.O.U.: I like that idea with the snacks! Little bit of everything.
@jaguar: I'm so sorry for your loss. :(. what is a chocolate hamper? I thought about a trinket of some sort but wasn't sure she'd want a physical reminder. I want to tread carefully I guess even though I love that idea. Found some cute trinkets on etsy.
@FliegepilzHut: ooh those pillows are a great idea, thanks! It is kind of a far travel so wine is out, but tea/coffee is a good idea.
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Tea/coffee/special chocolates/snacks are good. Magazines are great too! Sometimes you just need a distraction. I find some people are 50/50 on the flowers or anything that symbolizes the loss. I appreciated the flowers a good friend sent me and thought it was sweet, but DH disliked the reminder.
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@Freckles: again, it's like you read my mind.
I'm hesitant about anything too sentimental for the same reasons.
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So sorry
I gave my bff a candle, lotion, chocolate and some tea.
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Maybe some sort of nice lotion or a candle or spa-like items? Or maybe a gift certificate for a date night. And food always is welcome!
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@Mrs. High Heels: this is getting too creepy!
but I found the best thing was for friends to distract me somehow. You are a great friend!
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I also really liked the flowers. They did brighten the room even though it was for a sad reason. Also ice cream!! A big comfort to me
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Such a sweet and thoughtful idea
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@Lindsay05: @Mrs. Sketchbook: i considered a candle but would be scared about it breaking in transit. Other spa-like items sound good - I'm sure I can find other things along those lines.
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I was gifted a a Willow Tree statue, gift cards, and Heaven is for Real which I loved but I'm religious. Such a heartbreaking thing to go through that happens too often.
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Depending how much you want to spend, paying for some house cleaning or a meal delivery could be good? I know they're not tangible items but when I had my loss I did not want to eat, cook or clean but DH and LO still had to eat and not live in a pig sty. The very last things I wanted/needed to be doing were cooking and cleaning. Otherwise, I like the book idea, something she could lose herself in.
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@Tidybee: I'm sorry you had to experience this too. I'm glad the flowers were able to lift you up during a difficult time! I'm a huge fan of ice cream but it will melt by the time it gets to her. Wish she were closer so we could eat it together!
@LalaLove:
@ladybee: what a thoughtful friend you had!
Thanks again everyone for the thoughtful suggestions! I think I have enough ideas to pull together something she'll like.
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@Mrs. High Heels: A BIG bunch of choccies!
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That is such a kind gesture and I'm sure it will mean a lot to her regardless of what you put in it.
I'd probably send some kind of sweet treat, a book/magazine, and some kind of pampering item (I love these sugar scrubs they sell @ Wegmans: http://www.biggsandfeather.com/product_bodyscrubs.php. Also, if she's told you she's not sleeping or crying all the time, you could include a Benefit "Eye Bright" makeup stick (sold at Sephora or a dept store). That stuff is amazing... it helped me look more normal when I was a mess after my mc (and then pp)! Obviously that last one would depend a lot on whether or not she likes/wears makeup, her personality, and how you'd frame it in your note. That wouldn't be something that would work for everyone, but just another idea
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@Mrs. High Heels: all of my ideas have been said, but I did what to say you are such a thoughtful friend! I'm sure she'll really appreciate it
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All these ideas are making me wish I had told people about our miscarriage
I would have loved to receive this stuff. You're a good friend. I'd go with the snacks, magazines, lotions.
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My sister sent me a sweet box with a few of my favorite things...it included a Starbucks gift card and a box of peppermint Joe-Joes among other things. I think it's great to send anything you think will make your friend smile. That's what I really needed at the time.
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@jaguar: I need one of those for myself!
@78h2o: your eye bright comment gave me a great idea! I added some Korean single packet face masks to the care package. You're right... She has been crying a lot. And she's normally not a crier.
@winter_wonder: Aw thank you!
@PawPrints: I wish you didn't have to go through that alone, or that you had to go through that at all...
@Pancakes: Your last two sentences really spoke to me. That is the end goal, and I hope it does bring some smiles. I loooove Joe Joe's - they put Oreos to shame!
I got the care package pulled together now, and plan to ship it out tomorrow. Thanks everyone!!!
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This is so nice of you. The magazines are a great idea. For me, I had to do things to keep my mind occupied but didnt always have to concentration to sit there with a book. You are a great friend.
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I brought my friend some homemade chocolate chip cookies.
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@Mrs. High Heels: I also have to agree with Pancakes. Just the fact that someone was willing to address this as a difficult time (other than the "i'm sorry" statements/texts/emails) and to go out of their way is touching enough. No matter what you have in there, it will help!
Also, FYI - there is ice cream that you can mail and they pack it in dry ice! We sent a bunch to people who helped us when we had DD (during Hurricane Sandy)
ecreamery.com and you can even customize the flavor names to make it fitting to the occasion that you're sending it for. -
Lush bath products! I can't wait until September 1st (3 weeks post D & C) when I can take a bath. Also, you sound like a great friend. Most of mine have been either distantly supportive or awkward. Not
complaining, it is what it is. -
@Tidybee: Absolutely agree!
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Bumping this thread for some advice... My SIL just had a loss at 10 weeks and I was thinking of getting something in memory of whether it be a trinket, framed printable from etsy or something like that. But, is that weird? Should I stick to a meal or something not so tangible?
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@creativemomma15: I bought this ring for myself and wear it everyday.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/186629312/i-carry-your-heart-ring-affirmation-ring?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_ref=gslsb&ga_search_query=I+carry+your+heart+ring&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery -
@creativemomma15: Personally, I didn't really appreciate commemorative things that someone else got. I wanted to pick them out myself. I preferred the gift basket of nice spa type products that my cousin got me.
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@Torchwood: Yea that's what I wasn't sure about. I don't want to give something she isn't going to like or think is strange so maybe I'll stick with something else. And I haven't been through it so I'm not sure how I would feel if someone gave me something commemorative in this situation. I like the spa gift idea, but I'm not sure exactly what type of preferences she has with that stuff. Thank you for your advice.
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@DesertDreams88: That's a cute ring. Thanks for your input. Would you have thought it was weird for someone else to gift you something like this?
I'm hesitant about anything too sentimental for the same reasons.
I gave my bff a candle, lotion, chocolate and some tea.
but I found the best thing was for friends to distract me somehow. You are a great friend!
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