Problem child #1:
A few weeks ago, 3yo DS was sleeping well overnight. Maybe going to bed a bit late, but sleeping solidly and waking up at 8ish consistently. Then he figured out that he could stay up playing with toys after we laid him down. We had almost a week of laying him down and him playing in his room till nearly 11 before crashing. We kept moving his bedtime earlier to compensate. Now he's going to bed at 8:30, playing for maybe half an hour and going to sleep.
BUT now he's waking up multiple times overnight whining. He really wants us to cuddle and sleep with him but he's just too fidgety for that and I don't think it is a good idea.
This morning he woke up at 5:30 wanting 'TV' and I told him he had to wait till the sun came up around 7. He kept escalating his whining until he woke the baby up through her white noise
Problem child #2:
11mo DD goes down just fine around 8 by herself. She wakes up between 11:30-1 to eat once, then again around 5. I didn't think she was really hungry, but she gets quite mad if I lay her down before she gets both sides. As a result, she cannot tolerate DH going in to get her
If it was just her, I'd be fine, but in combination with DS, I'm only getting one 2-3 hour block a night and I just can't do this anymore.
What am I doing wrong? Have the planets just aligned terribly? Have they been replaced/possessed? IS THIS KARMA?!?
pomelo / 5220 posts
Um, no advice but I am legit RIGHT THERE WITH YA. My 3.5 year old is waking up at like 4-5 am after wrestling around his room and being a pain to get to sleep and my 10 month old is a hot mess who wants to eat at 11 or 1 am and 5 am even though he's clearly not hungry. I'm so tired.
pomelo / 5524 posts
No advice other than this is exactly what happened with us too. I was getting next to no sleep, because one would go down and the other would be up. As soon as you put the second down, the first would be back up again. It's honestly what made the transition from 1 to 2 SO MUCH HARDER than the transition from 0 to 1.
pomelo / 5563 posts
When B figured out that he could get out of his toddler bed we had to take all the toys out of his room. The wakeups, though, we just had to wait out.
clementine / 873 posts
@psw27: I am sending so much virtual support I hope it knocks you over haha! This is literally worse than a newborn. I'm second-guessing everything!
@2PeasinaPod: Please tell me it resolved? Did anything help or did it just take time?
clementine / 873 posts
@erinbaderin: It took a couple days before I realized we needed to just purge his room of everything but clothes haha. Fortunately the fun of hiding under the bed with his blankets went away within a week...
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
We had a similar stretch as well. And making it worse, I would get really really mad at the older one because she SHOULD know better. Getting up with an infant is expected. Getting up every night with a 4 year old is infuriating. We just kept putting her back in her room (sometimes quietly and nicely, sometimes less so...). And we instituted a sticker chart for a good bedtime (staying in her room after we left) AND sleeping through the night. I think she finally grew out of it more than anything else.
And babies grow out of that too. It’s just a lot harder when it’s both of them.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Oh gosh I hope they sleep better soon! I bet the three year old has something developmental going on, it will pass... I think DS would wake up at like 5 am for a while at that age. I don't even understand why he insisted on waking me and not DH, I am not a nice person when I'm dragged out of bed
pomelo / 5524 posts
@codeitall: It did take a while to resolve. DS1 was 3 when DS2 was born. He started waking up when DS2 was around 3 months. It was at least once/night, and DH and I took turns to try to survive.
It also didn't help that DS2 didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. So that was super tough for us. Eventually, DS1 got back to his normal routine. It's a phase, but it's a super hard phase!
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
DS1 is 3.5 and we just put a doorknob cover over his door. He can't leave his room at night and he has a few books and that's it. He messes around and we usually have to go tell him to lay down 1-2 times or yell at him through the monitor, but he's doing okay for the most part. He's getting a little less overnight sleep, but its helping him nap better at daycare, so its a wash I guess. One thing that randomly helped was a bed tent. We transitioned DS1 to an Ikea KURA bed and got the tent that goes over it like a house and the sensory deprivation of it or something helps him stay asleep. He had been sleeping in a Privacy Pop tent with a mattress inside for about 1.5 years, so I think that's why, but he's also my overstimulated child, so it just helps him settle to be in a little cave I think.
As to your younger child, there's a pretty bad regression around 10-12 months where both my kids were waking up crying every 2-3 hours on the dot. We just had to go in and comfort them and put them back down. I never fed overnight at that age, however. Long story short, it passes.
persimmon / 1479 posts
On an unrelated note, this thread is terrifying for someone (me) considering a 2nd, lol!
We are struggling with sleep with our almost 2yo. You mamas doing it with two kids are blowing my mind!
cherry / 176 posts
Oh my gosh, I've had such similar struggles! I defer to Janet Landsbury - her blog, book and podcast have been super helpful for me dealing with similar struggles
eggplant / 11716 posts
@codeitall: I (apparently) don't make good sleepers, and that's not really a surprise because I struggle with insomnia (and have since childhood) and my husband is low sleep needs.
I have only survived my kids by having my husband, who is always 100% willing to jump in and take half the "night time parenting" needs. Sometimes both kids have a bad night, and we sort of play musical beds (one of us will take the kid who wakes first into our bed, if the second kiddo wakes them the other parent goes and sleeps in their room with them). Basically, I refuse to do wakeups for more than 1 kid. So if DD2 wakes up and I had to attend to her, then it's DHs job to do anything that comes up with DD1.
And sometimes the stars align and we all sleep through the night....now, when my kids are 2.5 and 4.5.
Also, since DH is better with less sleep than I am, when my insomnia really rears its head, he just sleeps in the kids' room and takes ALL wakeups to give me a chance to get some zzzs. He can fall asleep in like 3 seconds flat and he can sleep through kiddo shenanigans in bed, so it all works out in the end.