My bonus son and I cooked dinner together and then enjoyed it while watching a halloween movie he had been begging me to watch. He then requested dessert. He reminded me about the fudgcicles in the freezer and I agreed he could have the treat.

There it was, the crappiest thing that could have ever happened to him; popsicles sticks floating inside of chocolate liquid. He had the saddest face ever. Then bam it hit me. If the popsicles were melted then so was my 250oz of breast milk.

I have battled with supply issues the entire time. That frozen breast milk was a result of me power pumping for 2 hours every single day, in order to maintain supply. It took me approx 300 hours to pump it. I quickly started going through the bags. They were all melted. The only thing that was still frozen rock solid were the 25oz I had in plastic storage containers. I started sobbing. BS was rubbing my back, not really understanding why I was crying over popsicles (he's 5).

I ended up taking what was still frozen to my Mother-In-Laws who lives down the street. I cried for probably an hour. It was devastating. I now have one day left of bm, from what was a pretty impressive freezer stash for a person like me.

I am a breastfeeding mentor at our local hospital and had posted my upsetting news on a Facebook board that we have. I got a phone call from a friend asking me if the 200+ oz were bad. I explained no, but obviously they needed to be used in the next 24hrs. She asked if I would be willing to donate some of it. Obviously, I would rather have someone use it, even if it couldn't be me.

An hour ago a woman knocked on my door. She had triplets 3 months ago and has been able to exclusively give them breast milk for their entire little lives (holy crap!), but because of the high demand, she had never been able to pump any extra. She explained to me that because of the feeding schedule, she has never been able to do anything outside of the house for more than 45 minutes since their birth. Her plan is to feed her babies my breast milk for the next 24 hours and pump hers for a small stash so that she can do a few things by herself.

I was upset because I imagined the long weekend DH and I had planned going into the crapper and this Mom, was so happy at thought of being able to get lunch with a friend. It put everything into perspective and allowed me to stop wallowing. Lesson learned today.