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Check your hospital policy, but I was told: 1) it's absolutely okay if they have someone to watch them. 2) Know that your husband can't give them and you his full attention. The priority needs to go to the kids because the nurses aren't babysitters, and 3) Bring your kids if there's a chance you'll deliver in the car if you wait. 4) bring your kids if your husband can't get you fast enough and you need to come via ambulance 5) home birth attended by (only) toddlers don't end well.

I had a very fast labor with #1. The plan is to drop DS off at his home daycare across the street, but if something happens, he's coming with me until my MIL or SIL can come get him. I was told explicitly not to wait for my in-laws and to bring the kid. My nightmare is that I will have a 2 year old fascinated by the ambulance as I try not to scare him while giving birth. This alternates with the fear he remembers not to talk to strangers and locks EMS out of the house.

Our hospital states that you have to have another adult there to watch anyone under 12, and that person can't be considered "primary support" of laboring mom. So if your husband was there he could be in charge of the kids, and wouldn't be considered the primary support person for you (like if you had to go into a c-section he would have to stay with the kids).

Its absolutely not ideal but I have definitely attended a high rise delivery (as an NICU nurse) where an older child was hanging out behind the desk with the unit clerk LOL. That isn't always an option depending on the hospital/how busy it is, but I would want my hubby at least in the hospital while we waited for older child help to arrive!

I had a friend this happened to and it wasn't ideal, but it worked. They posted a really cute picture that their son fell asleep during labor in the room and woke-up with his baby sister there. I was mostly impressed that he had slept through the hullabaloo of labor / delivery.

The only hiccup I see is that right now my hospital's L&D floor is not allowing any visitors under 12 years old due to the flu epidemic.

We had to do this. Brought my 2yo with us through triage, and by the time we got into a L&D room, my sister was there to pick her up.

When I thought I could be in labour (I wasn't) and called the hospital they said I could bring my son in with us if needed.

My hospital is 40min away from our home and 15min from my parents'. I'll probably either have them meet us at the hospital or drop off my son before we get there. (That is out of the way for us though.)

I am planning to hire a doula so I assume she can attend to me at the hospital until my husband transfers my son.

This is a second pregnancy so I can't assume I'll have plenty of time.

If my son is at camp then I will just have my parents retrieve him that day.

An anecdote: I went through a bunch of drama last week because I concluded that I needed to switch OBs during week 16 of my twin pregnancy. Ugh.

Anyway, it all worked out and I found someone I like better (at least so far). A side effect is that I will be delivering at this hospital that is a 40 min drive for us but a 15 min drive for my parents. (Unless I use my local hospital, which does not have a great reputation, I am looking at a minimum of a 30-min drive.)

So, I mentioned my plan above (take 4yo to hospital, have my parents meet us there to take the 4yo, and have the doula be there to deal with me until the 4yo is transferred to my parents) to my husband. I was like, "I think that should actually work out."

He said, "Yeah, I wasn't worried about it. I figured it would work out somehow."

Yeah. Because I always figure this shit out and plan for it. That is why it always works out.

Double ugh #secondshift

So this almost happened to us a couple of weeks ago when I very unexpectedly went into labor at 36 weeks. We live around the corner from my hospital (literally) but my MIL lives 1.5 hours away by bus. We called her as soon as we believed it was the real deal and she did drop everything to come. But we knew we’d have almost 2 hours before she’d get here. My husband started getting the 3yo dressed and ready for the hospital and I started frantically calling my two mom friends in my building. One was in Chicago and I started crying hysterically. I called the other who has a 2yo and is 20 weeks pregnant and she dropped everything within 30 seconds of me saying I’m in labor and was at my door. She swooped him up and took him to her apartment to play with her toddler, fed him dinner, etc until my MIL came.
THANK JESUS because I ended up having the baby 49 minutes after we got to the hospital. So yeah, that wouldn’t have been ideal. It was an RCS and if I had to be in there without my husband I would have been a wreck and I’m even afraid it would have triggered some ppd/PPA since my labor the first time was upsetting and I really think it set me up for it.

My point of this is - 1) I think you’d be surprised how willing a friend is to help in that moment, even with kids. I would identify the friend closest on the route to the hospital and make sure they know they are your person. Of course you can’t control that they’ll be there at the exact moment you need them but if they know they are your person they will be better prepared to drop what they’re doing. 2) have a backup just in case. But maybe don’t tell them they’re the backup 3) you never know how labor will go! If I had taken my son as we were preparing to do, I would have been alone when they first started monitoring me, through awful active labor contractions, into the OR and delivered the baby myself. It all happened so fast!

Can you do it? Yes. End of the world? No. Would I move mountains to make sure I didn’t have to do that? Absolutely.

@erinbaderin: @ElbieKay: I say this to DH all the time. He always says things like “I never ask you for anything!” like in an argument or when he’s cranky and I say “that’s because you don’t have to! I just do it all! Everything is done for you and you don’t even realize it!” Haha but he’s starting to come around since he’s been home 2 weeks on paternity leave.
Oh and related but not, he also never understands why there are so many amazon boxes every day or why I have to go to the grocery store multiple times a week. Again, paternity leave has opened his eyes. He kept telling me they last 2 weeks what we were out of and I had JUST placed a fresh direct order. So I said “see dude, there’s ALWAYS SOMETHING that is running out or about to run out and if I didn’t constantly replenish you’d be noticing it way more”.
I’m not saying what I do is rocket science, but he’s finally appreciating how much easier I make his life.

@sweetiepie this is like my worst nightmare and I think it's completely possible for it to happen. We will have a few people on standby to call, but if I call someone at 3am, how long will it take them to get stuff together, get to my house, explain to them what they need to know about taking care of the 2yo, and then for me to get to the hospital? I mean I could see it taking at least an hour or so. I just don't know if there will be enough time.

I figure absolute worst WORST case scenario, if I am like about to deliver or worried I may not make it, I am just going to call an ambulance and have my husband stay with the 2yo at home until someone can come. I am sort of hoping I can be induced at like 39 weeks and avoid this, but what if it happens a little early? ... ugggh.

@shantuck I really don't want to be induced early (would prefer for baby to come on his own) but with our childcare situation and my prior fast labor I may do it.

@MrsADS: one thing that made me feel better last time was writing up and printing out a few pages on taking care of my first. I knew it was overkill because I wrote out every detail, but it helped me know things would stay pretty smooth for her no matter who came (and we did zero hanging around when our help did have to come at 3am - I needed to leave!). Things like overall schedule, preschool times/address/procedures, what she would eat, you name it.

@bhbee I'm definitely going to do that, good idea. I think that would give me some peace of mind. Another huge worry is I'm afraid whoever comes over to watch DS will be someone he barely knows and he will be so freaked out and upset.

@emileee I'm also stressed out by potentially having to wake my 2yo up in the middle of the night if I'm in labor! He would just be crying and screaming hysterically and it would be awful and so stressful. I think I'd rather go to the hospital myself and have my husband wait at home for someone to come stay with the 2yo so he can stay asleep in his bed.

@MrsADS: Yes, at that point, I knew I'd rather be at the hospital alone than with my scared, tired, angry toddler while in labor! Even if I ended up delivering baby without DH, I'd have nurses and doctors to ensure that we'd be safe and healthy.

Leading up to the delivery, I tried to invite the friend I was going to call during labor to spend some time with lo1 so that he wouldn't be scared if he woke up one morning and saw her instead of me or DH. I also had a detailed plan written up for his schedule and routine. He ended up doing just fine! He was confused why his parents weren't there and dragged our friend around the house to look for us - but in the end, went on with his day like it was NBD. Kids are resilient! Even if they freak out a bit, it's just one day and they can handle it.