DS is four months old and if I don't get his birth story down now, I'm scared I'll forget the details! So here goes.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had a gut feeling that I would need a c-section. I don't know if it was because so many of my friends were having emergency Cs, or because my mom wasn't able to deliver me or my sister vaginally, but I just thought I would end up having one and it was always on my radar.

At 37 weeks, the baby (we were team green) was measuring in the 95th percentile for all three measurements: weight, femur, and head size. This didn't shock us; my belly was enormous and DH was 12 lbs 5 oz at birth, lol. My OB acknowledged that ultrasounds that late are notoriously unreliable and usually overestimate the baby's size, but he basically said this was going to be a big baby, and he would support my decision to schedule a c-section. After much deliberation, we scheduled it for exactly 39 weeks but we agreed I could always cancel it. As the days went by, I became more and more confident to stick with the plan. If I had gone into labor, I would have tried to deliver vaginally, but it didn't happen and at that point I just wanted the baby out.

It was really surreal to know my baby's birthday before I even knew whether it was a boy or girl. Oddly enough, even though I'm very anxious by nature, I woke up that morning feeling totally at ease. DH and I walked the dogs as if it was any normal day, and headed to the hospital around 10 am. I was admitted and sent to a prep room. A nurse named Nurse Jackie (ha) gave me an IV and set me up on a fetal monitor, which was the first time I was ever monitored. Apparently I was having some strong contractions but I didn't feel them, which surprised me. DH and I just kinda hung out for awhile and it was super chill. I eventually started to feel antsy, which is when my OB arrived and said "it's showtime!"

So at noon on the dot, they wheeled me into the operating room. It was freezing and very bright. The nurses were friendly and loved that I was team green. I told them I thought it would be a boy and they were like "then it's probably a girl." A goofy guy came in and started chatting with me but didn't introduce himself. He was the anesthesiologist. I was suddenly overcome by nerves and he could tell. He started telling me some convoluted story/joke to try to distract me and it did NOT work. I was like "dude please stop with this story." He sat me up and gave me the numbing shot before the spinal. It was barely a pinch and did not hurt at all. The spinal just felt like pressure and was not bad. They laid me down and the anesthesiologist said "you're going to feel a bit dizzy for a second." As soon as he said it I got very dizzy and nauseous and thought I was going to puke. They brought a little pan over but the feeling passed right away. Next thing I know, DH was suddenly in the room next to my head and the screen was up.

It all felt so fast. It was a few minutes of some buzzing type of noises and then my OB said "the baby is about to come out." The anesthesiologist made DH start taking a video on his phone, and then grabbed the phone and ended up taking a video of the actual birth. DH is very squeamish but watched the whole thing. I expected to feel pressure but I did not feel anything at all. They pulled the baby out and I said "is it a boy?" My OB said "a beautiful boy!" just as DS started crying. Best noise ever. They showed him to me in a mirror somehow then whisked him over the the corner where they quickly cleaned him up and weighed him. He weighed 8 lbs 12 oz. DH went over and watched that, and then watched them start to put me back together, which he said later freaked him out because they were "washing your insides outside your body." Then a nurse brought the baby over to my face and me, him and DH had kind of a 3-way nuzzle session. The anesthesiologist grabbed our phone again and took a video where he asked us to announce the baby's name -- Gideon! After that, DH and the baby were taken to recovery while the doc stitched me up. About 15 mins later, I was wheeled into the recovery room. DH was doing skin to skin and a nurse helped me try to get Gideon to latch. This part is hazy but I think he latched on right away. He was very sleepy. At that point we called our parents and texted other VIPs with the news from the recovery room. We hung out in that room for maybe an hour before they took us all to my real room.

The first day/night was very calm and peaceful. I felt no pain whatsoever and DH was glowing and beaming. I had never seen him so happy. DH changed his first-ever diaper and Gideon peed in his face immediately. The nurses helped us with everything and I felt like we were in such good hands.

The next day, I felt a lot of pain and stayed on top of the meds. We stayed in the hospital for four nights. We didn't have any visitors and I just remember feeling so cozy in my new little family of three.

Things later got a little rocky. It took a long time for me to recover, BFing ended up not working for me and made me miserable, and I think I had undiagnosed PPD for at least the first 6 weeks after coming home. But the first 24 hours of Gideon's life were so amazingly peaceful and serene, and I never, ever want to forget those moments.

Here is Gideon at about 2 hours old