due to high bp and low fluid my doctor adviced an induction when i was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. since she knew i was aiming for a natural waterbirth she suggested we submit me that evening and start cervadil to soften and perhaps even get my labor going. she said we could administer one dose, wait 5 hours and then if baby and i looked like we needed it we could try one more 5 hour dose around midnight.

hubby and i went in all nervous but smiling. at around 6 we ordered some food and then the nurse administered the gel. it worked almost immediately. starting out kind of subtle and i was thinkin, yeah, i can do this. then the big contraction started to hit. they were very close togethr and getting more and mor intense. I started chanting OM betwen them as my husband rubbed my back and comforted me. he was really wonderful. we moved from the bed to the ball and i kept having to pee over and over. i was moaning as low as i could. after a couple of hours i started getting really really worn out. I sang the entire song Purple Rain, chanted a pirate chant, walked around, got rubs from my hubby and words of encouragement. About 4 hours in i was really needing something to help. the nurse said i could get in the jacuzzi tub but had to wait for it to be cleaned. Well for some reason this took them over an hour and a half to do! by the time the tub was ready it was also time for me to be checked for another round of cervadil. I was DYING at this point and so needing the tub. I was calling it my version of epidural. I got in a hot shower in the interim but i was begining to crack and hubby could see that. He was very good at being the stubborn one i needed him to be telling me no epidural and that there was no other option but to just get through it.

Finally when the tub was ready so was the cervadi check so we decided before i got in the tub we would check my progress and then either do more cervadil which meant no tub or hold off on cervadil and do tub then cervadil. IN the end it took them two more hours to even check me so it had been a total of 7 hours and i was getting very upset and in excrutiating pain. When she checked me it was that check you never want to hear. I dilated one extra centimeter which meant i was a 3!~ A THREE!!!! i was so upset.

Hubby kept me on board though by reminding me that just because it took me that long to get one more cm did not mean i wouldnt be 10cm in an hour. So i stuck it out. Or i tried.

I was becoming a real bitchy awful person. The nurse gave me some Ambien and it meant i would sleep between contrctions but then wake up in agony. the contractions were only a minute or so apart and very intese so they feared more cervadil was not a good idea. they put me on a saline IV though to see if that would calm things and then i could have more gel. I did not want more gel but for hubby i waited it out even longer. The saline bag seemed to take forver to empty and i wanted to die. Finally i shouted out PUERTO RICO which is the code word my friend used for her epidural breakign point. I had been laboring for 11 hours total by this point and i just flipped. I told hubby i loved him but to shut up because i just could not handle it anymore. he called the nurse and she went to get the anesthesiologist. it didnt take long for the russian lady i was calling "my angel" to come and rescue me from the hell i was in. I felt relief immediately after administed and hubby says i turned from the exorcist into a chick on vacation with a pina colada. from there i was smiling and happy. they checked me just after it was administered and i was 5cm so i must have progressed some naturally. Then my water broke right away on its own with a big huge pop and gush. it was so funny to me. i was laughing. from the epidural to psuhing was a total of about 3 and a half hours. I progressed so fast and they just had me wait a teeny bit to let Tor decsend some more. This was fine by me because i felt no pain. a teeny bit of pressure but it was nothing. When pushing time came i had bad acid reflux and the drug they gave me for it made me super drowsy so i was really worried i would have trouble pushing him out and require a c section. in the end i somehow managed to push him out in less than an hour. It was amazing. He slid right out. I only got one small internal first degree tear. My husband cried. i just laughed and smiled at my amazing little boy.

In the end my birth was wonderful and nothing like i thought it would be. I required induction, i had the epidural, my husband was down watching the whole thing and i was glad, i asked for the mirror and it was amazing to see Tor's black hair comeing out. I think what i learned from this is that its very easy on one side of things to have a million opinions or judgements about what you want or need for your birth, and i think its good to have a plan but only on the other side can you truly have an understanding of whats right for you. I have turned around in a big way on epidurals especially. not that i think i will just get one without trying for kid number two but i feel the epidural is what helped my personal experience feel less traumatic in the long run. I am also so glad i got to expereince true labor and i know i gave it the good college try. Surrender on either side can be a bueaitufl and humbling experience.

Happy birthing Bees. Sorry if this is not well written but i havent slept AT ALL! here are some, probably too many but i couldnt choose a fave, photos of my beautiful amazing baby boy Tor.