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I don't understand why I have to use an Asian-sounding name just because I'm Asian.
DH and I decided we want our child's first name to not give away anything about race because we're aware of people's biases about names. Plus our last names give away everything about our ethnicities anyway. It just so happens that all the baby names we like sound British, which makes sense because that's in keeping with our style - it's the part we get to choose. Like @mrs. wagon, I like the combination of the different style first and last names!
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@Mrs. Pen: cuteness!
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@tysonja: haha thanks! Sometimes he gets called Jack-oh-bee, or Jake-o-bee but for the most part people know how to pronounce it... but 90% of the time we go by Cobi, and that kind of spells out how the first part of his name is pronounced.
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I am African American and DH is Irish American, so I purposely chose an Irish name that was not uncommon among black people.
In addition to the studies that there is racial discrimination in evaluating resumes based on name, there are also studies showing that "creative" spellings are more common among people with lower socioeconomic status, regardless of race. So it contributes to class discrimination as well.
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@vnvdvci: Our top girls name is Alice and I have a feeling it is going to be the next Sophia! every year it clinbs a little bit higher on the SSA list. Great Article!
Our LO is Graeme - not sure if it leans British or not. I don't know many american Graeme/Graham's
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@spaniellove: I think if your kids are raised in the U.S. (Or Canada, or any english speaking country) it totally reflects their culture ot have a typical 'american' first name with your last name. Because your kid is american, regardless of race.
That's the line of reasoning I was trying to persuade my husband with, anyway. He wasn't having it. Even though he is now a US citizen, he doesn't feel american and keeps referring to our future LO as a "sri lankan baby", lol (that somehow was implanted in a white american woman--whoops!)
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@pui: I think these names are racially ambiguos: Jennifer, Lauren, Nicole, Kimberly or Brandon, Christopher, Eric, Jason
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@spaniellove: who said you did?
Although one of my all time favorite names is Luciania or Lucky for short and a friend of mind basically freaked out because it's an Italian name and I am not Italian.
My parents purposely chose "white" names for my brother and I. My runner up names were racially ambiguous, but my brother could have easily been a Malik.
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LO shares a name (first and last) with a rabbi in pretty much every large US city, so no one is surprised he's a Jewish white kid.
DH and I both tend to like Old Testament-y kind of names (top contenders for #2 are David, Aaron, Hannah and Sarah), so with our pretty Jewish last name, everyone can nail our kids' race/ethnicity. -
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think someone implied that names should match ethnicity. But your comment about Italian names made me smile because my dad for some reason only liked very Italian names for me! Which seemed strange for an Asian baby, but my name fits in perfectly now that I live in NJ.
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Alright post a thoners, looking for additional thoughts...
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Well, our last name is a dead giveway of our race...
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think the names you listed all sound really white.. if there is such a thing as a white sounding name.
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@Mrs. Jacks: Really? I know a lot of non-white people with those names. But, then again if a person is purposely choosing a racially ambiguous name a mainstream or "white" name fits the bill.
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We are white and all the names we've considered are very traditional names, like Robert, Edward, Thomas, Charles, David, Elizabeth, Penelope, Sarah... It's just what we like.
Shaquanda, Tyreese, or Marquel just aren't our style. We were super picky about wanting a name that was easy to spell and wouldn't be mispronounced.
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I chose racially ambiguous. SO wanted a name that when heard, everyone would know if LO had been a boy, he'd be black. Since I got to name the girl and he the boy, I hoped LO would end up a girl. Pins and needles for 9 months!LOL Her name is racially ambiguous, well, not really.LOL You would probably think she was white. I didn't want something that automatically crossed her off the list with her resume. Her name could be any race.
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@septemberlove: lol, I would imagine you wouldn't want to name your children those names those are...neither do I! For the record, with the exception of Penelope, I know plenty of non-white people with the traditional names.
At the end of the day I really *do* have a problem with my husband's creative name. I was hoping the thread would make me more comfortable accepting and liking his name, but no.
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@mrsjazz: Do you feel bad that you purposely chose a racially ambiguous name? I kind of feel bad that I particularly care nor want any names that scream my kid is black. Even the positive and less unusual sounding names originating from our heroes and sheroes such as Miles are ones I wouldn't use.
@MsMamaBear: Do you mind sharing why your husband wanted your son's name to be black and proud?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I don't feel bad. Especially after growing up with an obviously black name. Plus, LO is named after a famous black artist, so we feel like we covered a lot of bases: unique name, homage to someone in our culture (although she had a hard life!), and racially ambiguous. I think people will either think she's from the south or that it's part of this generation of non-average names.
When we first talked about having kids years ago, we liked the name Miles for a boy...but then every single black family we knew who had a boy named their kids Miles, so that was out.
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@glimmersnaps: wow fighting during labor!! Isn't it a rule that whoever is in labor automatically wins?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I didn't mean to insinuate that those were "white" names. I know many people of different ethnicities with names like Edward, Charles, etc. I just meant that our priorities when it came to choosing a name were traditional, easy to spell and easy to pronounce, moreso than being "white". And a name like Shaquanda isn't easy to spell! We also shied away from names with multiple spelling options (like Michelle could also be Michele, beautiful name but the multiple spelling options threw it off our list).
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: He didn't want it specifically to be black if they heard the name(he wanted William to be the first name)but I feel like it would have been a dead give away and everyone would know. He didn't think the name would be a problem, I would.But then he has a regular name, I don't.
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@MsMamaBear: William doesn't necessarily scream black to me, but I do know quite a few! However, I have noticed white people use nick names more Bill, Billy. A friend of mine in HS was named Joshua and he hated at school his name was shortened to Josh.
With my last name my kid could have any first name and no one would be the wiser, but a William Washington- yep he's black.
Is your first name racially ambiguous?
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actually this thread just reminded me, I don't think the name we chose is as ambiguous as I thought it was. I just remembered that we both liked the name because of a famous black jazz singer, and we always just felt it was classy and feminine. not that it's not climbing in popularity now...but still.
Interesting, and yet not unsurprising, about the resumes. If you want to take it one step further, studies show that when you take an excellent woman's resume and slap a man's name on them, they tend to get more call backs and interviews than if the resume had her real name on it. Sad
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So, just curious....
What do you all think of "Maya"? Is that an ethnic name to you? if so, which ethnicity? Or do you know more white Mayas?
Of course (curse of being a teacher), all I can think of is former students. I've had south asian Mayas, east asian Mayas, and 1 black carribbean Maya...no white Mayas yet, but it's in the top 30-40 names in the US, so I'm sure they are out there.
I picked it specifically because it's well known in English but also in DH's culture, so I wanted it to be a bit ethnic. Just not hard-to-pronounce ethnic.
I don't really care about resumes too much, because Dh has a "weird" name and it hasn't hindered his career too much, as far as I can tell.
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I'm Black of Afro-Caribbean origin, and DH is white with both Italian and very English/Yankee WASP (sorry if that term offends anyone) ancestry. Both of our last names are very English. I thought about this a lot with our name choices, but I've never really been attracted to alternative spellings and certain names. I think it's because I have a name that isn't like that.
I know for a fact in professional situations that people have been taken aback meeting me for the first time after dealing with me primarily on the phone just because they didn't picture me being me. I don't have a name that is commonly associated with Black women specifically, so I joke that I guess I don't sound Black enough on the phone (Just kidding. That's a whole other topic though).
Since we're not really sure what LO will look like, I was pretty adamant that the name be one that was racially ambiguous for lack of better terminology. I enjoy messing with people's stereotypes of who and what I am, so why stop now with my kid?
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@Anagram: I grew up with two Mayas. One was black and the other most likely checked white on surveys, but she was actually Labanese. I think its a racially ambiguos name.
@blackbird: Ella? I always think of Ella Fitzgerald and then Elle McPherson pops in my head in part because my childhood crush liked her so much.
@BKCaribBaby: We should start that topic...when your voice, syntax does not "match" your race...that could go in Peanut Gallery. lol
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@BKCaribBaby: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I'd join in on that new conversation about "not sounding Black"...although because of my name people always know that I'm Black...but I can't count how many times in the past I've been told how "articulate" I am or asked if I am from California. (Apparently some people think I sound like a Valley girl?)
@blackbird: I was going to guess Ella, too. That was on our list--LO is named after a Black jazz singer as well. I know two baby girl Ella's, one is Jewish and the other is biracial, Black and White.
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He wa@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: he wasnted the 1st name to be William and Middle Jamal. -_- my name screams black woman.lol sorry for no caps. On my phone in my clssroom, lol, and can't go back.
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@Mrs. Jacks: I don't think they sound white! Well, except for Brandon
I was born in the 1970s in the era of Black parents really embracing and giving their children African or Black names and there were still a ton of Nicoles, Kims, Jennifers, Christophers and Jasons in my classes.
@Anagram: I went to high school with a Maya who is White. The other Maya I know is Latina.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: LOL! Yes, this!
@mrsjazz: Don't even start me on "articulate"! **eye roll**
@MsMamaBear: I wanted to mess with my in-laws a little (specifically my father-in-law), and tell them that we were considering Jamal, Malik or Shaka for a boy's name, all good names with good meanings, by the way (we're Team Green). DH stopped me though.
Actually DH really like Nia. I probably should have pushed that one more.
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@BKCaribBaby: lol Too funny. We were Team Green too, that's why I got to name the girl.
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This is something I think about a lot. We already have a last name that could have some racial/religious discrimination, though thankfully neither of us have overtly encountered it. I don't think it would be fair to a LO to give them a very "ethnic" name, but some of the names I like (usually boy names) are pretty popular for African-American boys. I hate that is actually a "con" for me!
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@Anagram: I don't think of Maya as any specific ethnicity. It's actually my second choice for a girl, but DH doesn't like it
We are white.
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@mrsjazz: my BIL is a black Brandon lol. Please check your wall...name mystery.
@BKCaribBaby: I have had the absolute look of dissapointment that I am not blonde and blue eyed. Come on people we can still be friends, right?
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I replied on your wall this morning!
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I *now* see that, oops @mrsjazz: your LO has a Supercool name.
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@Anagram: my dogs name is Maya, she is black and white mixed
people wise I have met a black Maya, an Asian Maya and a Mexican Maya..no white ones yet! I think it can go to any race but it fits more black or Hispanic in my head?
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@Anagram: I knew a Jewish Maya in high school and a (white) English one who spelled and pronounced it slightly differently. So the name isn't specifically any ethnicity/culture in my mind.
We personally chose a first name that isn't specifically related to either of our cultures. The middle name we chose is a common name in both English and my husbands language though.
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My kids have biblical names (ambiguous) but have very ethnic middle names. Last name can be white or Asian....
people wise I have met a black Maya, an Asian Maya and a Mexican Maya..no white ones yet! I think it can go to any race but it fits more black or Hispanic in my head?
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