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@Orchid: I have cameras---I told all the nannies during the hiring process. They are out in plain view, and we had them before we ever had a nanny. They are just regular security cameras. I totally think a camera should be disclosed, unless a parent suspects something bad is happening and installs one secretly I guess.

The nap question is a little more thorny. For me, it depends. If a nanny was new, it would just rub me the wrong way if they were napping while my kiddo napped. Just because I would worry they aren't going to hear my kiddo when they wake up, or something. I'm not sure why it would bother me, but it would.

But I've totally checked in at nap time to see my kiddos on camera, and seen my nanny napping at the same time on occasion, and now it doesn't bother me. At this point, I've had more than a year to see that she's usually doing what's best for the kids--sometimes I tune in during my lunch break and see our nanny napping right beside my toddler in the bed. That might weird some people out, but it doesn't bother me because my youngest is notorious for waking after only 30 minutes, and if someone lays next to her and pats her back for a while, she'll go back to sleep. And it's easy to fall asleep doing that (my husband and I both have fallen asleep doing that), so it doesn't bother me now.

I have a nanny and no camera. Not sure if I'd disclose whether there was a camera or not? I don't like the idea of filming someone without their knowledge, but maybe disclosing defeats the purpose? I guess I did consider getting a video monitor that I could see from my smart phone, and I would have told the nanny that's how it worked had I gone that route.

I personally wouldn't mind if my nanny napped unless I felt like she wasn't also doing the things I hired her for. As is, she takes great care of the kids and is helpful around the house with laundry, cleaning up kids toys, etc. She sometimes works on personal projects when the kids are sleeping, and I know that and encourage it. Nannies sometimes work a lot of hours without real breaks, so if they can take some reasonable personal time while kids are sleeping, I think that should be allowed and encouraged - and employers shouldn't dictate what employees do during their personal time as long as it doesn't interfere with the job.

I have a nanny and had a camera initially when she started working with us. We used it for about a year and then it stopped working, and we've never felt the need to replace it. We've had the same nanny for almost 3 years and disclosed the camera to her from the get go. I would not feel comfortable using a video camera without the other individual's knowledge.

I don't mind if she naps. I know she dozes on the couch from time to time and i encourage it! Taking care of kids is hard work and I want her to have all the energy she needs for when my kids are up. I would be more upset if she was skimping on other responsibilities and chose to still nap, but that hasn't been an issue. I've been upfront about what my expectations are to minimize any confusion and would probably encourage your friend to have that conversation with her employers.

I think cameras are totally fine, but should be disclosed. Our day care has cameras in the room so I don't see how having a camera in a home with a nanny is any different.

If someone had just started working for me and was napping on the job I would not be ok with that. I'm paying the nanny for her time and I'm sure there are other things she could be doing like laundry or light housekeeping. I sure don't get to nap at my job, so I wouldn't be thrilled about paying someone else to sleep.

We had a nanny and never had cameras.

I wouldn't mind if she napped - if her other responsibilities were handled and the baby monitor was near her.

1) We have a dropcam (Nest) in my son's room. I did tell her about it when she started.
2) I do think that if the camera was there before the nanny was hired OR you're on good terms with the nanny and decide to get one just because, it's right to let her know. I would want to know - people do embarrassing things when they're alone
3) If everything was done that fell under her duties then I would not care if she shut her eyes and rested ONCE IN A WHILE. If I saw she was napping every day or the days she did I came home and the home was a shit show and work wasn't done, I'd be upset.
However, I do think that napping at all in the first few weeks or couple of months probably wouldn't give me a good feeling. That's when you're supposed to put your best foot forward and Id be surprised if she was choosing to do that before we're all comfortable with each other. The only thing I can think of to compare it to is taking days off at an office job or leaving early - barring a major reason, I wouldn't take days off or leave early in the first 2-3 months of a new job. Once I've established myself as a good worker, I would feel comfortable asking.

I think this is really a matter of preference and obviously this mom doesn't like your friend doing it - so if she likes everything else about the job, she shouldn't do it. She should ensure she gets enough rest at night and go in being prepared - make coffee or do whatever she needs to do. I stay home now with a 2.5 yo and even I rarely nap - like 2x a month maybe - if he didn't sleep well and kept me up the night before or I don't feel good. I feel like I have other things I should be doing besides napping.
However, if she is overall getting not a great feeling about this family/mom and this is just one thing on top of many, just cut losses and get out of there.

I don't have a nanny but if I do and have cameras I think it's best to disclose.

Maybe the mom knows it's nap time and the nanny would be more "free" so that's when she texts to see how things are going?

I wouldn't mind the nanny napping as long as she can hear my kid and if she has nothing else to do.

Disclose cameras? Yes.

Napping? No. A big fat no.

No nanny, but if we did have one we would likely set up cameras in the house since we enjoy being able to see LO thoughout the day on DCP's cameras. We would absolutely disclose cameras in the house.

I wonder if your nanny friend's employer knows her child's schedule so well she called when she knew the nanny would be free. My dad watches LO sometimes for me and I try to check in during naps or meal times.

I have worked as a nanny before. I would want to know if there was a camera. It would just be creepy otherwise.

The only times I napped while my kids napped was incidental. Like if I was rocking them in the chair and they fell asleep on me and I knew they wouldn't let me transfer them so I was stuck there for nap and I accidentally dosed off. Or I had to lay next to them to pat them down to sleep and I dozed off. In any case, it was when I was in the same room as them and it was accidental and there were no other children in my care like an older sibling. I definitely remember apologizing to the mom one time because I dozed off in this situation and she was totally fine with it but it was definitely a rare thing.

I would disclose cameras, unless I suspected something. I would not be okay with napping, there surely would be something else I would have them do with the time I'm paying them for. If you think about it, what other jobs can you have where you are paid to sleep? Not many I can think up.

I don't have a nanny, but the napping thing really got me thinking. Nanny is different from most other jobs in that they don't get any breaks when the kids are up! Not even a lunch break. Seems fair to me that naps would be their time for at least part of it, especially since there is always the chance the child won't sleep so they may not even get that break.

We had a nanny when DD1 was an infant and no cameras. I think it's wrong to tape someone without their knowledge. I don't care if nanny naps while kids are sleeping.

I already commented about this above, but that comment about naps and breaks by @peasinapod got me thinking too. Most other jobs, it is federally mandated that employees get breaks (hourly employees). We tend to talk about nannies as hourly employees who are subject to overtime, no? So if that is the case, they are indeed entitled to a break, and given their job description, that can only really happen while kids are asleep. So maybe they want to nap for a half hour. I think that's ok as long as the house isn't a disaster at the end of the day and other duties have been addressed. Lord knows I'd like to do that at work some days (and on particularly rough days I have been known to grab a patient treatment room and close my eyes for 15 min). I deliver better patient care if I'm not a total zombie.

@erinbaderin: I'm pretty sure lots of hourly employees don't get a paid lunch hour. I'm assuming you aren't hourly? Also, during my first few months of my job it wouldn't EVER cross my mind to nap during lunch.

@Littlebit7: FYI it is not federally mandated to get a break. I believe if you offer a break between 5 to 20 minutes you are required to pay, but that's it -- (I knew this because I worked a job where I had to clock out for lunch):
https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/workhours/breaks

ETA: I looked more into it and it looks 24 states do address it on a state level.

I would not put up cameras without disclosing. If I was in a situation where I was doubting my nanny's discretion then I would work from home and supervise or I would simply fire her.

I am not okay with napping. I'm perfectly fine with watching TV, studying, etc, but I have no idea how heavy of a sleeper the person might be and if they might be able to hear my child if he needs something. I say this because my son's own father can't hear him when DS wakes up from nap if DH is napping so to me it's not that farfetched. I would feel different if it was like she just accidentally fell asleep, but it sounds more like she was trying to nap and the mom kept waking her up with texts.

@LBee: fair enough I stand corrected. I did intend to type at a state level but alas. I also didn't refer to lunch breaks specifically. Ive also happened to work in states that have paid breaks: either lunch or two-15 minute breaks. And I've been both salaried and non-salaried.
I think a ton of people could comment about breaks or lack thereof from their own personal experience (I've worked in plenty of jobs where I was supposed to be totally off the clock for a lunch hour yet there was no way to get my work done unless I worked and yet I was hourly with no overtime permitted).
I guess this entire thread is just another reason why you really should have a pretty detailed contract with a nanny that outlines expectations from both the employer and the employee!!

@erinbaderin: I agree with others, I haven't had a job where I had a paid lunch hour.

Now if you are entitled to breaks previously discussed with your employer, or are allowed down time during the child's nap time, that should all be discussed with the employer. This is definitely teaching me that if I ever had a nanny, we would have a chat about these kinds of expectations ahead of time so things were clear for all.

@Orchid: coming back to this again. What I would tell your friend is that the first few months of a new caregiving situation are exactly what another PP said--it's when the nanny is putting their best foot forward. So napping right at the beginning is not really putting your best foot forward.

I've posted about it a million times before here on HB, but we had a nanny we hired first that lasted only 3 weeks with us, and it was because of "little" things like this, but I kept feeling like--if this is her BEST self, how much worse is it going to be? And I ended up letting her go after 3 weeks. And our new (and current) nanny is just 1000x better in every way, even with the bumps in the road we've had.

If your friend reads this, this is what I *like* about our current nanny. For the first 3-6 months, when I would find time to check the cameras briefly (and I always picked times I knew they should be home, like nap time), I would see my kiddo being asleep in her room and our nanny would be in the kitchen eating lunch, playing stuff on her phone, but sitting upright at our kitchen island and just seeming professional doing it. Like she was clearly listening out for my daughter, in case LO woke up. She wasn't like, laying on our couch with a blanket covering her. That may seem overbearing for me to care about, but it just really made it seem like, okay, this girl is professional and energetic. And now if I ever turned in and saw her napping a year later, I totally wouldn't care. Because now I trust her.

And re: cameras. With both nannies, I disclosed we had cameras and they are in plain site. But with the first nanny, the more I watched, the more I disliked what I saw. Which made me watch more. Which made me see more I didn't like....which created a cycle and that's why she only lasted 3 weeks. With our current nanny, I probably checked in 4x a day at first. Now days, a year later....it's probably been 3 weeks since I even logged into our security system because now I trust her and I just don't have to think about it.