After becoming disenchanted with my day care (10 babies and two teachers is too much!), I'm looking into a nanny for Baby A's first year. My husband works from home but cannot care for baby at the same time. So, we'd have a nanny and husband at home. Does anyone else do this? Did it work well for you? Any advice?
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A friend of mine did. The husband works out of the home the 4 or of 5 days and the wife works from home 5 days. Their days are spent on conference calls, interacting with people via phone who work normal business hours and completing take that need to be spent during normal business hours. They could not have cared for their baby during the day while working. They did not want to put their baby in day care , so ananny was a great solution.
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I am currently pregnant and work from home 5 days a week. Like Mrs. Lemon-Lime's friends, my day is spent on conference calls and Skype chats so it isn't feasible to take care of a baby too. My DH and I are hoping we can afford to have an in home nanny. We would like to avoid the constant illness of daycare and also it would be upsetting to me to drop my child off at day care while I am home all day.
Definitely subscribing to see if anyone else does this!
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Great thread. The only thing I know was that I was a mothers-helper during high school. It is very hard to be in charge when the parent is nearby. The kids dont often want to listen (they just want their parent) and as the adult in charge, I was often leary of making judgement calls (like can the kid eat this, or should they watch this) knowing the parent was overseeing me.
Just a few thoughts, probably not as much of an issue with an infant but somethings to think about.
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I worked as the nanny in a situation like this! It worked out AWESOME. The WAHM had her own office in the finished basement so she could work away from noise and distraction. She'd poke her head up every few hours to check on the babies (twin baby boys). I don't remember ever needing to interrupt her but it was nice knowing that she was there as the boys had some health problems (needed regular breathing treatments/meds etc.)
We were both super happy with the situation and if I hadn't moved out of town, I probably would have stayed with them for a while!
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I work from home most days (I go in to the office about 1-1.5 days a week, but even then it's just for a few hours) and we have a nanny! Honestly, it was the best decision for us because our nanny is not only fabulous with the baby, but she cleans and cooks (when the baby is napping) as well! So we are super spoiled and I love it, although I'm not sure all nannies would do that. She is slightly more expensive than the cheaper daycares in our area, and in the same price range as the more expensive ones so in terms of cost, it was an easy choice to make. It's opened up so much time for us because I no longer have to worry about housekeeping or cooking and DH and I can just focus on enjoying LO when we're all home. Plus, I can pop in to see her whenever I want
I will say that I instructed the nanny on everything (as if I wasn't home) and when she comes in, I give her updates on how LO has been so far (as if I were heading out) and otherwise, I try to stay in my office and not "hover." Like the previous poster mentioned, it's easier now since she's just an infant but when it comes to discipline and such in the future, I want my nanny to feel like she has the authority to carry out what I ask her, and I want my LO to respect that.
Good luck!
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I don't deal with a work at home parent often but it happens from time to time and I agree with what @T.H.O.U.: said-- it has some unique challenges! It is definitely doable but I would say you and your husband need to decide on how you want to handle the situations that are going to come up and then give clear directions to your nanny and stay consistent.
I think it works best if you/dh still make a point of saying goodbye and "leaving" for your office. Close the door and steer clear of baby while you are working. So often mom or dad come out for play time, get a phone call and leave a screaming baby as they run back to work and then everyone is sad! Don't get me wrong, at some point it will happen and it is just life, the trick is figuring out how to minimize this type of thing. It can also be hard if mom or dad comes out to play just as nanny was heading out the door for a walk or just about to put baby down.
I would consider how you will handle things like: baby won't take bottle and is screaming; temper tantrums; nanny can't find X (should she knock? text?); normally nannies can't leave to pick up lunch or anything (obviously); if your dh is there does she get to leave during naps? (personally, I say no but I am sure there are some people who would ask); who relieves nanny and how does the hand off happen; what if the child gets sick or hurt?; separation anxiety phases-- how do you want to handle that?
A lot of those things will change as you get to know your little one but it is much, much easier to go in to things with a nanny with a firm idea of how you want things and ease back then it is to get firmer. Your nanny will find her own groove with things and be working within the parameters that you set up in the beginning, if you don't give parameters she will make up her own ones, if you aren't relatively consistent she will be frustrated.
Even though having a nanny with a work at home parent is harder I think it can be a really rewarding experience and it can work out nicely. Just be extra picky when you are interviewing candidates and try to start with good habits. I am sure it will help greatly that your husband is used to working at home already (and that he won't smell like breastmilk!) Let me know if I can answer any other questions!
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I agree with @T.H.O.U. I was a nanny for several years and I got quite a few interviews that went really well, but then they broke it to me at the end that they would be working from home, or one of them works 3rd shift so a parent would be at home sleeping etc. I felt like I was a really good nanny but didn't like the idea of being overlooked all day. I actually did try it out before and the kids would ALWAYS want to go in by their mom and it was so difficult because it's an awkward position sometimes. However, I do think the idea is great! You would just need to find someone who is fit for that type of position, it definitely isn't for everyone. Good luck, I hope you find the perfect nanny
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This is what we plan to do, because I work from home. I am curious how people find good nannies?
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@Cole: Awesome advice! I agree with all of that 100%.
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@kjpugs: When I was looking for positions I went through a couple of websites to find my families.
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I work full-time from home, and we had a nanny when I first went back to work after my son was born. It was wonderful! I was able to stay in the office and work while she took care of him, but still come down and nurse him when he was hungry or just have some extra playtime. Not having to worry about pumping was a huge benefit. (Although I can't imagine that will matter to your husband.
I also just loved being able to have that extra time with him throughout the day.We ended up switching to daycare when he was around a year old because our nanny got a "real" job. After my daughter was born this winter, we debated hiring a nanny to come to the house and take care of both of them. I think it would have been great for the baby, but way too hard now that my son is two years old. He's a little bit of a mama's boy though (read = can be very clingy), so I was particularly worried about him wanting me around all the time, even if the nanny was there.
Summary, now that I have been rambling: It was a great solution during the first year!
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@kjpugs: My favorite site is care.com but to be honest I don't think I have actually taken a job from there. I have used craigslist, sittercity.com, enannysource.com, nannies4hire.com, gonannies.com. I have also been placed through 2 agencies and worked with four total.
Word of mouth is good but it is an odd process-- usually you have to snap someone up the second they are available. Start talking to librarians, music teachers, preschool teachers and anyone you know with kids. If by chance you can hire someone in conjunction with back to school your odds increase of finding someone through word of mouth because that is the biggest transition time.
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I WAH two days a week and go in to the office the other three days. On the days that I stay at home, the nanny comes later and leaves right at 5:00. It is a little dicey for the first hour of the day when I am supposed to be "working" but the baby isn't down for a nap yet and I will admit to relying on the Sprout channel during this time.
I stay in my office/3rd bedroom while the nanny is here and she is only in the house with me while the baby is sleeping or eating. She likes to take him to the park, bookstore, library, etc. While he naps, she will clean, do laundry or make him food. Such a lifesaver, I haven't done laundry in MONTHS. I thought it would be weird to be in the house at the same time as her, but she tends to stay in the front of the house unless I come out of the office and start a conversation. I also really try to let her do her thing since she is at the house by herself 3x a week. She definitely does laundry and dishes more often than I would (some loads are not totally full) and she replaces the trash bags even if they are not full, but if that is my only complaint, its okay. The baby is very comfortable with her and she is always doing fun things with him that we don't have any problems of wanting Mommy vs nanny. He did cry one day when Daddy came home and baby wanted to leave/go outside with nanny.
Its been a great situation for us and has made the difference for me to continue to work.
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