Hellobee Boards

Mine reads pretty similarly to LBee above
I have about a 2.5 year age gap, almost 2.75. My son was born about a month ago. When my first was born, my husband was working longer hours but he was home overnight, my mom came for about 1.5 weeks, MIL for about 1. week. I started with some help around 4 months so I could go back to work very part time and also get some me time.

With number 2, we started a 2.5s program for LO1 when I was about 5 months pregnant 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. When I was about 9 months I upped that to 4 hours a day and they provide lunch so I don't have to. I also still have that same part time nanny between 4-10 hours 2 days a week (I stopped working at 9 months pregnant). I've since kept her on; she takes LO1 out 1-2 days a week for a few hours a day. That really helps. OH and important: my husband has been traveling out of the country since last june basically Sun-Fri so I solo parent.

I have a housecleaner 2x/month @$90 per visit. I get groceries delivered and they also provide ready-made meals (Fresh Direct).

I delivered my son about a month ago. My husband restarted traveling internationally Sun-Friday about 2 weeks ago which will continue for the foreseeable future.
After delivery, my husband was home a week, my mom was here for 1.5 weeks, my MIL for 5 days.
I considered a night nurse...but I'm BF..so I don't know how much it would help. So now I'm in the thick of it solo parenting but the biggest help is getting LO1 out of the house. I can handle LO2 (its easy-ish actually!)

I probably won't go back to work. With DH gone as much as he is...it just doesn't make sense now. All of this is expensive; I pay the nanny $20 an hour bc I don't guarantee hours and she is super flexible. The 2.5s program is probably $15ish an hour and its for a full school year. I'm going to sign her up for three days of summer camp (half days) which is about the same hourly. The school is about 7 blocks from us (easy walk).

Phew, that was a lot and probably reads pretty jumbled but at time this feels pretty jumbled!

@math.nerd: I'm in the South. We pay her $17 per hour.

Full disclosure, being a household employer full time is not a delight. I vastly preferred when it was just 2 days a week.

Hi! So I can comment on what we did for DS1 and what our plan is for DS2.

For DS1, I initially declined all help. I live in NYC where it is EXTREMELY common to get a baby/night nurse for at least the first couple of weeks home with baby and often much longer (months). I’m not from here so I thought that was ridiculous. Not taking into account that my family isn’t close by.
Well, I started deteriorating mentally in the hospital after a long difficult labor with little to no sleep (thanks, nyc hospitals that make moms share rooms with each other!)
From the hospital my husband called a Post Partum Doula that a friend of ours had recommended and he thankfully kept! It was nice but she only came maybe 3 or so hours a day a couple of days a week. So...let’s say 6-10 hours a week max. And she was $50/hr (not cheap!). Oh I should add that my family is a plane ride away and my MIL is annoying AF and lives 1.5 hour drive away so I really didn’t want her around a ton. It would have hurt, not helped.

Anyway, after another week or so of not really sleeping at night, we realized just how sensitive I am to sleep deprivation. My PPD was spiraling out of control. So we called a baby/night nurse that a friend had used for their first 2 babies. She was available nights only 3-5 nights a week, depending on the week (ie she had other things booked so she would come to us the nights she was free). She came 6pm - 7am a few nights a week for what ended up being 4 months. It was expensive but worth it. I still suffered from PPD for the entire first year (as we failed to realize that’s what it was) but it was IMMENSELY better since I was getting a few nights a week of solid sleep. Also, date nights. I was home with a newborn all day and losing my mind. So knowing that at 6pm the nurse would arrive and DH would get home from work was huge. DH and I got out of the apt every night she was there. For a walk, dinner, a drink, whatever. It just helped so much to feel normal and have some 1-1 time with him. We still struggled a lot in the first year but those nights it didn’t seem so bad.

Lastly, around 6/7 weeks I hired a daytime nanny 2 days a week. My husband insisted that I get a couple of days to go do whatever I wanted that wasn’t baby related. Don’t get me wrong - it was sweet but he wasn’t being sweet. Haha. He was like “wtf you are a wreck let’s get help”. Again, ppd/ppa undiagnosed for almost a year. But that also really helped. I joined a new moms group since I had childcare and eventually did end up going to therapy and had I not had that 2 days a week I could depend on, my mental state would have been a heck of a lot worse.
I got rid of the nanny at 2years PP but I really could have been ok without her sooner. But it was nice to have and once DS started preschool for a couple hours each morning it was enough “me” time to not be able to justify her anymore. Also, she started annoying me. Haha. As you can see from some of my old posts.

My MIL now comes 1 full day every week and as much as she annoys me, i truly appreciate it. Especially now since I’m 33 weeks pregnant and physically miserable.

So, new baby due in March....let’s just say that the baby nurse mentioned above was the 3rd person to know I was pregnant! Right after me and DH My husband said that we aren’t messing around this time, we got 24 hour baby nurse for 2 months. Which seems like a lot BUT the difference in cost for night vs 24 hour is like $50/day. It made much more sense to tie her down for 24 hour since 1) it doesn’t cost much more 2) I can always cut her loose for the day ignore it becomes too much (I’m an introvert) and she will take my lead on involvement 3) I don’t have any other help and I do have 2 kids now - my older one is in preschool still so I wanted to be able to walk him to school each morning and pick him up without making the baby go in and out multiple times a day.
Also, mental health. DH and I are in an incredible place right now and we just cannot fathom going back to where we were before. And if spending some money for solid sleep and sanity for a couple of months will help, we’ll do it. Oh and she is only there for the first two wknds. So after that we will have weekends alone as a family and I’ll get the experience of night feedings that I was afraid to completely miss. But Sun - Fri night I’ll get a full night of sleep. Oh and I am probably going to FF this time or at least FF overnight so I won’t even have to wake for feedings. If I was BF I would really reconsider if I needed her at night.

Forgot to add that I have a one-off Sitter for the daytime that I use when I need it (a doc appt or whatever). She’s not scheduled regularly I just ask if she’s available. So that’s one option when baby is here and baby nurse is gone. I might bring the Sitter in one or two days a week to entertain the 3.5yo or do schoool Pickup or whatever.

Eventually I MAY consider a 2 day per week nanny again but we just aren’t sure where we’ll be that far from now (DH work) so I’m not making any plans. I do also plan to eventually go back to work so if I did the nanny would convert to full time. So that is an incentive to get one part time (so I’m comfortable leaving them with her).

I feel like this was a ton and all over the place but hopefully it helps!