We have had a long road with infertility and today.... AGAIN, my period showed up! We have been ttc for 3 years, I have had a laparoscopy, 2 HSG's, clomid challenge tests, 7 total IUI's, 3 of those were with injectable medications and a trigger shot. I have had no success at all and I am losing it. I have been back and forth from hopeful to completely hopeless, I have questioned everything from my faith to my marriage, I have been through so many emotions and I am scared that it may never happen. We are going to our RE to discuss IVF next week, but with my age (41), we are not sure it is even an option. The most follicles I have ever had is 3 and that is with the injections. I am unsure of egg quality, so I think that may be the issue. So on that note, if anyone who is older maternal age like myself who has had success, or anyone with DOR, I could really use a success story! We are considering paying the extra for the ICSI to increase our chances, but this is all going to mean we have to get a 2nd mortgage on our home! That means we have ONE chance and I am scared to death!!! Please someone help and share with me your experiences with IVF!
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@fotolori1: hey there, I'm so sorry you're struggling
I can definitely relate to questioning everything and wondering why everything has to be so hard.We had unexplained IF, but after my failed ivf attempt it became clear that there was likely an issue with my eggs. We decided to choose an egg donor because I just couldn't face another disappointing round of ivf. I say that not to bring you down but to put it out another option down the road. It's definitely not for everyone but it made sense for us.
I hope you find some answers soon
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Hugs!!!
I have PCOS and DOR and I was successful with IVF and ICSI after 6 failed IUIs.
It took me 3 years to finally get pregnant and I know how you feel questioning everything.
You might want to check out this thread for some inspiration. I know I would re-read the thread over and over again when I was feeling hopeless.
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/if-inspiration-lt3 -
Hugs! I haven't any stories for you, but I am so sorry, that sounds awful and I hope it gets better!
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Hugs!
We just hit the 2 year mark and I have unexplained secondary infertility. We do have a daughter, but she took a year to conceive and we have been trying for #2 for quite some time. I'm on my 3rd IUI and starting injectibles this round. As far as egg quality, do you take CoQ10? I would recommend that and I don't know if you are into podcasts at all, but I LOVE the Beat Infertility podcast. The one today is on egg quality and nutrition.
This whole process is hard, but know that we have a great support system here. Have you checked out the POAS 6+ months group? There are a group of women who have been trying for a long time and are there for each other..
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/august-poas-6-months/page/3
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Just wanted to offer hugs - staring down the barrel of IVF is really scary.
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I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I'm struggling with unexplained infertility and will be starting my first (and probably only) round of IVF in a couple of weeks. Three follicles during an IUI seems right. I was on injectible meds for my two IUI rounds and my doctor specifically only wanted three or four follicles. My understanding is that IVF is like supercharged medicines so we will get many many more follicles. Did you get your AMH tested? Do you have any reason to believe you have DOR or some other egg quality issue?
As for IVF, I'm also going to do ICSI. And, ugh, the cost of it all is no joke. Its something like $13K for a fresh cycle with ICSI. I'm expecting a few thousand dollars of other unaccounted for costs. But I would absolutely do the ICSI if you can. I'm sorry you are thinking you have to take out a 2nd mortgage for this. What about a credit card with zero interest for 18 months? Also, don't think of IVF as just one chance. There's a good chance you will get a few or more embryos and then you will have a few chances from the one IVF. Also, if you are really worried about the success and you are having to take out a 2nd mortgage, maybe you can look into skipping a fresh cycle and doing a frozen cycle. If your doctor's office does the vitrification freezing method, I think frozen embryos are considered just as good as fresh embryos. By skipping your fresh cycle, you will give your body time to relax and reset before sticking the embryos back into you. That's what my doctor was strongly suggesting. But cost is an issue for me so as long as I have a good number of embryos, then I'm going to just go for a fresh embryo transfer in the days after my egg retrieval. Its all so much to think about. But best of luck to you. And try to keep your faith and marriage strong.
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I'm so sorry that you are going through this. This journey for some of us is really gut wrenching. I've been ttc for almost 1.5 years with unexplained infertility and there are days I can't pick myself up. This takes such a toll on our well being, our marriages and our confidence. Please know that we are all here for you. No one should have to ever go through what a lot of us are going through. Hugs
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So sorry! No success story here (yet), but I've been reading up on things to improve egg quality- melatonin, DHEA, coq10, and vitamin D. "It starts with the egg" has many things that can be done to help. Good
Luck! -
My RE suggested I be on CoQ10 and baby aspirin to help with egg quality.
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I'm so sorry. I'm ama (almost 38) and had DOR with egg quality issues. We'd get pregnant but then lose it right away. I did Clomid and ovidrel with an IUI and it didnt work. Right around the one year mark, we got lucky with a clomid/ovidrel/TI cycle. We were supposed to start IVF next cycle. I had been taking Ovaboost for 3 months prior to conceiving.
What area are you in? There are some facilities that specialize in DOR and mine (in Texas) does a new genetic testing that tests embryos for all genetic abnormalities not just a few like PGD. But it's expensive...
Egg donors and embryo adoption might be worth looking at too. Embryo adoption is usually the cheapest route.So much luck to you!! I hope you are successful very soon!!
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@fotolori1: I'm sorry for your struggles.
Lots of folks with low numbers still do very well with IVF/ICSI. Back in 2012 in our first round of IF, my best cycle (that resulted in a bub) was only 4 follicles, 3 eggs retrieved, and 3 fertilised. So there's lots of hope with lower numbers, and I really hope that the IVF might give you the boost you need for a take home little one. There's an IVF thread here on the boards if you want some more advice/support if/when the time comes.
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Wow! I expected a couple of stories, but I never expected so many sweet ladies to reach out to me! I have learned that no one who hadn't been through this can understand or help. I appreciate it so much!
I have been taking a prenatal, Coq10, evening primrose oil, just last month started a baby aspirin. Hubby has no fertility issues, and my AMH was 0.65 (does that sound right) the result they want is above .72, so it isn't THAT bad. However, it is low. I just don't understand why doing SO much hadn't worked. My dr just told me to start 25mg of DHEA three times a day and I read about Mac ( haven't started yet). Oh yea, I started Melatonin last month as well.
Our plan is to try and relax and just enjoy sex again. We have gotten to where it seems like chore sex! It is timed and often rushed because I work at night. We are going to take a couple of months off then just try temping and opks for a couple months before preparing for IVF.
I have heard that there are more risks of birth defects with ICSI, so we are going to research it a bit more. We have considered a donor egg, but my husband is unsure how he feels about having his sperm and someone else's egg. I think it is just the thought that's weird to him.
Again, I am blown away by all the sweet responses and understanding from all you ladies! I can't talk about this with just anyone and my facebook is flooded with pregnancy announcements, baby pictures and everywhere I go I see babies and pregnant women! It makes me feel more and more sad and further away from where I want to be all the time!
Best of luck to those of you who are still trying! This WILL happen for us! It has to!
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That was suppose to me *maca not mac.
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@fotolori1: I'm 38 and currently 12 weeks pregnant from our first donor egg cycle, after five years trying (no interventions at first, then 3 failed IUIs, 6 fresh own egg IVF cycles with ICSI and one FET). We got pregnant three times with the IVFs but lost them all very early by six weeks. It was a very long road for us, but a donor egg has helped us to finally get there (we think, fingers crossed!). Are there any shared risk programs in your area that you'd be eligible for, so you would give yourself more than one chance? I'm so sorry you're going through this! Stay strong! xx
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@fotolori1: Hi there! I just wanted to chime in and say that ICSI isn't scary-- the risk of birth defects (as far as I understand) is only marginally increased in some series...and the ones that appear to be increased (mostly male genitourinary?) are pretty minor. There is some increased risk of identical twinning,bthough...which is very rare in the first place.
I am currently holding my 3 day old son from my 2nd IVF pregnancy (first was an early loss)...and we did 50/50 ICSI/"natural", so we'll never know which he was.
IVF can be really hard and I hope your consult gives you the answers you need. Also, I would second the comment about looking into donor embryo (like infant adoption..only with pregnancy)...or at least exploring your feelings about that as a potential option. Mrs. Pickles' blog posts about her experience so far are really informative! Wishing you the best of luck! Feel free to reach out anytime!
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My IF experience is/was not as of yours, but I know how scary and uncertain things can be!
I guess I just wanted to let you know, I'm praying for you! -
Just wanted to add my support and let you know that I get it. I am 39 and we just discovered my DH has severe MFI. My RE is concerned about my egg quality given my age and FSH of 9.8. We are about to start our first IVF/ICSI cycle and we will be paying (all OOP) for a discount plan of 2 fresh, 2 frozen cycles. This helps the cost and also builds in a backup plan if my egg quality isn't the greatest the first time around. Hopefully you can find a way to afford at least two cycles so that all of your emotions and financial investment aren't riding on just one chance.
Although I don't have a successful AMA / IVF experience to share (yet! FX-ed so hard!), I just want to say you are definitely not alone. It totally sucks, and you are right, it is so hard and no one who hasn't gone through this really gets it. But thankfully, there is this great community here and smart RE's out there who make miracles happen all the time.
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I finally got pregnant at 34 after 8 IUIs (all with injectables, I skipped Clomid entirely), 2 surgeries (hysteroscopy/laporoscopy and a straight hysteroscopy), a miscarriage, and 2 rounds of IVF. I had DOR - on my first IVF (I was 32) I got 10 eggs but only 2 made it to transfer, on my second (34) I only got 4 and only 1 made it to transfer. That egg is now 19 months old. I know how hard and crushing and exhausting it can be. I'm impressed that you're at a place where you can take a few months off, I was never able to - even months where we weren't medically trying I'd think "But what if this is the egg that's going to be good and I waste it?" We did use ICSI, because I figured we were putting so much money into it already we might as well throw everything we could at it.
Hang in there. One way or another you will find a way to be a mom. I wish it wasn't so hard for some of us. For what it's worth, though, looking back...well, I'm not going to say I wouldn't change a thing but I know myself so much better than I did when I started trying, and my husband and I had so many great experiences while we tried to make the best of being childless. I think I'm a better person and a better mom than I would have been if it had worked easily.
I can definitely relate to questioning everything and wondering why everything has to be so hard.
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