This is probably going to be long. I need to blow off some major steam, even if no one reads this. Sorry in advace

(You can skip this part if you just want the short version)A little backstory... I work 3 days a week 10a-10p. DH works 3rd, so on the days I work, he watches LO until his mom gets off of work at 3. She watches LO the remainder of the day on her nights. No problems there for the most part. The problem falls when it's my moms days to watch LO. She gets off later, so she goes to pick LO up from MIL on her days usually around 5ish (still following?). All good. The problem lies with her not keeping me informed. More backstory...Me and my sister don't get along, no big secret there. That's a whole seperate, dramatic post we won't get into. But, she is LO only aunt, and my only sibling, and I'd never keep LO away from her. As rude and inconsiderate as she is to me, she's a good aunt. My husband can't stand her. They are total opposites and in his defense, she is a total snob to him. I do defend my sisters right to have a relationship with her neice, and he's cool with it also.

So, back to my mom. I feel like she is totally disrespectful of us (particularly me) as parents. I've always let a lot slide in terms as the way I let her treat me, and push me around, but I'm reaching my breaking point. I'm at work today, and I called her to see what time she would be picking LO up from MIL today. And she told me she wouldn't be home until around 530 so my sister would be picking her up about 4. I wouldn't have a problem with that except 1. She didn't bother to ok that with me. If I wouldn't have called I wouldn't have known where LO was. 2. She knows my husband isn't comfortable with my sister driving with LO in the car and we've told her that many times 3. When I told her I didn't like that idea and that it would make DH mad she said "Well he doesn't have to know. That's just ridiculous" Maybe it is a little ridiculous, idk, but it's how he feels and it's what he wants. 4. My MIL would be more than willing to keep LO until my mom got off of work, so it's not a problem on that end. My mom just goes out of her way to push LO on my sister bc she knows she won't come to my house to see her, and that she won't ask to see her on her own. I just feel like my mom has no respect for what we say, or how we feel. If she disagrees with it, she ignores it, and that isn't right. I'm constantly being put in the middle, and it's getting hard to defend my mom and my sister, while still being on my husbands side. I'm tired of being the peacekeeper! I can't talk to my mom about it without her getting offended and mad at me, but it's getting exhausting. Part of me feels guilty for getting irritated with her because she does play a huge part in us not having to hire outside childcare (it would be extremely difficult financially, and we're both uncomfortable with sending LO to the daycares around here) and has been a huge help. But the other part of me feels totally disrespected and I guess hurt by the whole thing. I don't know what to do. Thanks for the vent!