I’m a long time user on this site but don’t feel comfortable posting under my usual user name.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post and reach out for support and maybe some advice on this site. I know it’s gotten quiet over the years but I really need some help and and am hoping for some much needed support.

My DH has become abusive over the last year. Mostly verbal but sometimes physical. I’ve forgiven him and stood by his side because I’ve believed in him because I see the good in him.

We had a bad argument last night - over stuff - as in a physical object. He threatened me and when I backed down because he threatened to hurt me - the look on his face was indescribable. He had won and he was proud and it showed. It took me time to realize what was going on but I am so crushed - not just the threat but his reaction to shutting me down.

I’m going to tell him today that I’m done with being afraid of him. I’m done with him hurting me. And I’m saying this because I am done. For myself and also for my daughter - because I won’t allow her to grow up in a home where her mom is afraid of her dad when he’s had a bad day. I won’t allow her to grow up afraid of the people she should be able to trust to nurture and love her - no matter what. So I’m going to tell him if he threatens me with harm or harms me ever again - I’m walking away and taking our daughter and dog with me. And I’m not looking back.

I know it’s the right thing. Some might say I should leave now - maybe they are right, honestly I don’t know. But I want him to know the line I’m setting and if he doesn’t change his recent behavior (no he absolutely has not been like this most of the time we’ve been together) - he is choosing the ending.

Important members of my family are aware of this situation (the verbal abuse only though) and would drop everything to help me if I needed it. So I’m not alone. But I feel like this is my decision to make and I have to make the best one - not just for me but for my daughter and even as silly as it sounds, my dog. I feel like I can’t talk to them right now and just need the anonymity of this blog to talk. I also have the advantage of being the breadwinner so I’m not in any way financially dependent on him - I say that to be clear it’s not money keeping me by his side during this time - it’s been love, hope and faith. I’m just not certain he can change - he has such anger inside him and he’s turned it on me lately.

Sigh. I just feel so sad and hurt. And feeling like I’ve let myself down as I’ve let it get to this stage where I’d become a victim of abuse. I never thought I’d be in this situation.

Thanks ladies, for letting me share and for your support over the years.