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My son turned three in July and he juuuuust recently can pull his pants down himself. He definitely could not at 2 years 9 months. He’s been potty trained for almost a year but that doesn’t mean he could go to the bathroom alone. I’m surprised they would expect him to since many kids your sons age aren’t potty trained?

I would imagine since he’s the youngest then some of the older ones are close to a year older than him, is that right? There is a HUGE difference in the abilities of an almost 4 year old and an almost three year old. Do you think they are just used to the older kids and not considering the age difference?

I’m sorry, that sounds frustrating! I don’t understand the teachers demeanor. They are small children and I think they do need warmth and some degree of affection from a teacher at that age. I agree that the other child’s comment was probably him repeating what an adult said.

I’m sorry. I know it feels really sucky to get negative feedback. And I’ve had the same situation where I overheard another kid telling his mom “c doesn’t listen.” “C is always too loud.” However it’s different in my case in that the boy saying it was 5 and my kid really doesn’t listen, so there’s that.

Those seem like pretty tough things for a 2 y 9 m old kid to have mastered. My younger daughter is the same age and can sometimes pull down her pants but usually I have o help, and she started sitting on the potty one week ago.

I’ve got no advice. I just want to say I know how crappy that feels and that was with my kid actually being a challenging kid, at home and at school.

@wrkbrk: Also, I wanted to add that none of the things he "can't do" are anything he necessarily should be doing! O will be 3 in November. She can pull her pants down and up, but often requests help. She can take her shoes off but not put them on unless they're her flip flops. And she often needs direct supervision, like within arms reach, if you actually want instructions followed. I keep having to remind my wife that even though she technically can use the bathroom alone, leaving her in there unattended is asking for the TP to be thrown in the toilet, or something equally as annoying!

I'm sorry but this is on the teacher. Shouldn't she be part of the parent/teacher team that is teaching your son to do these things that he cannot do? He sounds developmentally on track.
The teacher sounds like she might actually have something going on at work or home that is interfering with her ability to deal/perform at 100%.

When she says he can't pull his pants down or put his shoes on, what is she looking for? I think I would respond, "Yup, you're right. He's learning. Are you guys working with him on those things here? We're doing XYZ at home."

Bah. Good luck mama.

@wrkbrk: well this could make you feel better- the teacher who had a problem with my “problem child” 4 year old last year actually WAS going through family stuff, divorcing, moving. Once I learned that it totally made sense that she just wasn’t 100% with the kids.

@wrkbrk: I don’t think you’re being too defensive or being THAT kind of mom. You are just tuning into a situation that you feel is not right for your DS. It would 100% go mamma bear on that situation (in a very calm but yeah-no kind of way). I agree that they should have listed their expectations (like no diapers in jk) and then also realized that he won’t have the skills of the older ones when they worked out their numbers.

Uhhhh that’s ridiculous!! No way h can put on his own shoes! Like what?! He can pull his pants down, but half the time he doesn’t pull them down enough and pee gets on them anyway. That’s a huge transition for C and it sounds like she has unrealistic expectations of him. Does she give you specific examples of him not listening? Is there a lot more structure or academic focus in this classroom or is it still playbased? I would be SO PISSED if they took H’s binky away when I specifically said not to. Like WTF. I’m upset for you and I don’t think you are even close to being THAT parent. Ugh, I really don’t have any suggestions but I’m upset for you and c!!

I would suuuuper not be ok with a lot of this, especially the paci - that is a parenting decision! When my son (at 4) came home from daycare and told me he wasn’t allowed to suck his fingers in class I was even annoyed, and he’s substantially older! I would absolutely direct the teacher to give it back and probably talk to the director.

Geesh, this sounds harsh for his age! And I'd have a big issue and want to have him moved from that class or that center all together!

These are kids, little kids! And I honestly think sometimes these teachers expectations are too high. They are ansty and can't sit still for very long and transitions are hard... a good teacher would know these things and be prepared to handle these things appropriately instead of just accusing the kid(s) of not listening or bad behavior.

Reading this makes me really sad for your kiddo. I mean, he’s a little kid. He’s the youngest in his class. My daughter still has trouble doing those things consistently and she’s 3.5.
She was the absolute youngest in her 2.5s program last year. The teacher addressed it several times directly with us, in the vein of “these are the things that are challenging for her but we are working hard with her to master them! She’s the youngest in the class so we expect that, but we are also fully confident that she will learn them!”

It seems like this teacher would be better suited for an older class but that’s neither here nor there. You aren’t being annoying; you are picking up on situation which is negatively affecting your kiddo.

Hope it works out. It’s hard at this age. They are SO little yet some people expect so much of them.

@wrkbrk: Sure sounds like anxiety. Hard to listen when you're anxious. I'd probably set up a meeting with the director to express my concerns and give them a chance to make things better. Then if they didn't take you seriously I'd be looking for another class or a different center. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It is so stressful!

Honestly it saddens me to hear about these calloused baby teachers. I know there are so many loving and caring ones, and it is such a hard job, day in and day out, and many daycares do not provide the best compensation, etc. But the whole notion of teaching kindness, patience and empathy lies in how we treat these tiny humans. I have heard (in jest?) teachers of big kids say that they don’t smile until Christmas, but ffs, what’s the sense of being cold with little ones? Like just no. It’s not right.