My daughter has a December birthday, and we are throwing her first friends party this year (she's turning 4). We're inviting her whole preschool class, plus a few other friends, so it could end up being a pretty big party (hopefully not too big, so close to the holidays). Instead of gifts, I thought that we could collect donations for Toys for Tots. What is the best way to express this clearly on the invitations? Any clever ideas?
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@lady baltimore: I don’t have clever wording, but I love this idea!
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This is a great idea! It’s not clever or catchy, but I’d probably go with something like: “The only gifts I’d like are lots of friends to play with at my party! But if you’d like to bring an unwrapped toy for Toys for Tots, I know that would make some other kids really happy too!”
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I would keep it simple and say something like "Your presence is my present! In lieu of gifts, we are asking that you bring a new, unwrapped toy for Toys for Tots."
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I love the sentiment, but be forewarned that some people will still bring gifts for the birthday child. We just went to a no gifts party and almost everyone brought a gift anyway, and then the few people that didn’t feel awkward.
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@Madison43: I think this varies by area. Where I live, when we say no gifts, we mean no gifts and the people who feel awkward are the ones who show up with gifts. This happened at 6 year old's birthday last year - she invited one old friend from preschool who doesn't live in our neighborhood. They were the only ones who brought a gift and felt very awkward. We obviously reassured them that it was fine, but the mom was clearly embarrassed.
I think the wording suggested above does the trick.
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@Madison43: What she said.
I've done multiple variations of no gifts language on the invite, we've tried the donation, and nothing has worked out. No gifts results in the awkwardness, or worse, ppl assume we're requesting gift cards and do that instead. When we've done donation, everyone brought one, but almost everyone ALSO brought a gift for the child, even though it was clear that we were collecting donations INSTEAD of gifts.
All that to say that I hope it works out for you, and it sounds like it does work out for others, but here in the midwest, in our groups of friends/ppl, after 6 yrs and multiple variations and parties, I've given up.
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@Madison43: I’ve had both happen and I’m always on the wrong side! The first no gifts party, I didn’t bring one and everyone else did. The next I brought one and no one else did! And this is 2 kids from the same pre-k class, so you just never know...
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Expect ppl to bring gifts and if they do donate it to charity 🤷♀️
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@psw27: This is similar to the wording I used for my son's birthday invite. It is short and to the point.
@cake2017: I was coming here to say the same thing!
We asked for toys to donate to the local Children's hospital that treated my son and I even provided a link with suggestions of requested items. Most people brought donations but A LOT of people also gave my son a gift. DS was only 2 at the time so I was able to select a few special gifts for him to keep and donated the others. I know people had good intentions and I'm happy that they all ended up with a deserving kid.
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I just said, “please, no need for gifts. However if you feel obligated to bring something, then we will bring donations of winter gear to the homeless shelter” Not catchy but whatever. Out of the 15 kids, would say there were 6 regular gifts and lots of donations
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I don't think you need any catchiness! People do this all the time where we live.
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Thanks for the suggestions - I will abandon trying to be cute in favor of making sure I am clear! I just don't want anyone to come away with the impression that I am expecting them to bring BOTH a gift for LO and a donation.
I don't mind if people choose to bring a gift anyway, but LO will get lots of presents from relatives, so I am hoping to limit things just a bit (particularly since we are inviting a LOT of kids). I am also a bit of a grinch about the kinds of toys we keep around the house (limiting gendered toys, princess stuff, Disney, no Barbies, etc.), so I hope that having the post-party donation built-in will help ease the transition for LO if some of her gifts get donated, too. I know, mean Mama!
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