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That's tough. Can you trust your parents/in-laws? I know they are going to be soooo excited to see your lo when he/she is born. If your MIL comes in looking sick, maybe get her to purel up and double check with her that she's not sick. If she cops to being sick, get her a mask. Seriously! At least then she can hold the baby.

Once your LO gets here it is completely acceptable to make every person who either walks into your house or wants to hold her wash his or her hands. I never let anyone hold my baby during the newborn phase who hadn't washed hands first.

That being said, I am completely on your side. I think knowingly going to visit a newborn when someone has an illness is unacceptable and rude. Could your husband actually go see your MIL to determine if she is actually sick?

I have to say the health of a newborn is so important, so ifyou have to pull the mean mommy card and say she can't come over I say do it. It is the health of your baby! And a sick baby isn't fun (my DS picked up two colds before he was three months old due to my DD, but that was inevitable, this can be avoided)

Don't know where you live, but at least in some areas allergies can't be used as an excuse right now! (I have bad allergies and get a daily pollen count email.) I never ever get sick and suddenly I've been sick as a dog for the past week so I told DH to give his pregnant sister a heads up b/c we're supposed to see her this weekend and I would feel terrible if I gave her something.

I don't think antibacterial gel will help against a cold, since a cold is a virus, not bacteria. So if you can't convince them to stay home, at least insist that they wash their hands very thoroughly with soap and not touch or kiss your LO! And just say no to anyone who is coughing or sneezing. Or...you could get those masks. Seriously you see people wearing them all the time in Asia!

I agree that you have the right to do what you feel is best for your family. However. I think a few factors need to come into play.

1. How close is this family member? If its your husband, a sibling, grandparent, etc. Its not like its a random friend thats coming.
2. How sick are they? Even if you assume its not allergies, if it is just a small cold, your baby will be exposed to germs as soon as it enters the world (what about nurses at the hospital with "allergies")
3. How close are they going to get to the baby. I think this you can control. Maybe ask people to wash their hands or ask them not to put their face close to the baby. Or just ask them to look from a distance to be safe.

In your situation, when it is your MIL, I think it would cause WAY more drama that it is worth to try to ban her from seeing her grandchild just because shes a bit congested and MAYBE its a small cold. Let her at least come and see the baby but ask her to keep some distance and not hold him/her.

Oh I had a very similar problem! My MIL was sick about a week before I delivered and had us come to her camp without telling us. I was PISSED! Now that my son is here I'm super anal and ask everyone. Not sure what I'd do if they swore it was only allergies though...

@pastemoo: Not all allergies are "cured" with allergy meds. @spaniellove: Pollen counts are not the only thing that might cause someone to have allergies and be congested.

I guess I am in the minority here.... Again, if it was a random friend who was honestly sick and was planning to come snuggle up close with the baby, yes, I would ask them not to come. But this is family and she has a few sniffles.

@Thehistoryofus: Bummer. I've only had allergies a few times so I don't know.

I know if i have allergies or a cold, so uh...yeah. If i say I'm not sick, I'd be insulted to have someone insist that I am. I get allergies like MAD every fall/spring, but haven't had a cold in probably...3 years now?

It's also not just pollen. This time of year, it's ragweed and mold in my area. I'm super allergic to mold. I get this disgusting voice and sound really congested because I get thick phlegm in my throat. The more I try to clear my throat, the worse it gets because my throat gets inflamed. People ask if I'm sick, but I'm not. Nobody questions it.

The hospital has a TON of germs, anyways. You think nurses don't work when they don't feel 100%? No. Those doorknobs have 100x more germs on them than your MIL does All you can do is ask people to wash their hands. If someone really makes you uncomfortable, they can wear a mask, and I think that is perfectly reasonable!

Could you suggest your MIL use a Neti-Pot? They are great for helping to clear out symptoms faster and prevent allergy attacks.

I will be pushing Purell like crazing, as well as spreading the word that we would appreciate anyone not feeling well to stay away until they are 100%! If someone has allergies I will just ask them to wear a mask just to be sure. I have horrible allergies and would not be insulted if someone asked me to wear one just to be sure, it's the safety of the newborn that means the most!