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I think to an extent you should be concerned that the people who watch your child all day set a good example, but I don't know that these things are a huge deal. For me, personally, I drink way too much soda, but my kids know it is for grown ups only and don't ask for it so that hasn't been an issue. I could see doing the same with the candy, but since I assume that your child might occasionally be given the candy that gets into the sticky situation of them asking for it every time they see it out and grandparents who don't like to say no.

So I guess if it were me I would maybe just approach it as "we don't think it is good for LO to have regular access to candy, so it might be easier on you if you leave it at home so he isn't constantly bugging you for it" when he gets to the age that that is something he would be doing? My guess would be whenever your child is old enough to see the candy and recognize it is something he wants. With my first that was much older than with my second, as my second knows that junk food exists much younger

1.5-2 is definitely when it will become an issue as the kid asks for things and gets a taste for them. For our 2 year old son we keep a cabinet with his snacks in it and he's always going over and pointing to it asking for treats - and he's been doing that since 16 months? DH and I will have beer or wine or pop at dinner and our son will start reaching and demanding juice (he assumes we are drinking juice) and push his milk away. He also doesn't want different meals anymore unless it's a huge favorite or treat. At the very least he wants a taste of our meal. So we have to be mindful of what we eat and drink.

My husband and I eat a fair amount of junk food....but we eat it when the girls are napping or sleeping at night. =) So can you ask FIL to only eat candy/chocolates when your kiddo is sleeping or with grandma?

My husband has a serious chocolate addiction-he eats 1-2 bars a day. But our daughter is 3 and has literally never had one; in part because she couldn't eat dairy until recently but also because we just don't eat it in front of her and don't offer it except for special occasions.

I think it was around a year-ish when DD2 definitely started noticing for and being adamant for bites of whatever everyone else was eating. I've always tried to serve her the same things as (at least) her older sister at meals, but it was around then that if, say, they were having waffles and I was having toast, she'd immediately point at me and be like "bite! bite!" She is not quite 2 and does that ALL THE TIME still. DH is often starving when he gets home (skips lunch sometimes) and tries to sneak in handfuls of a snack before dinner, and DD2 in particular ALWAYS catches him and hollers til she gets a bite or two. It makes sense when it's something like chips/cheetos/whatever, but she does it to me if I eat lunch after them, too....in which case she'll be hollering for a bite of the chicken sandwich that she rejected at dinner the night before when we all ate them together or whatever.

All that to say, I think whatever you're not comfortable with your child having will (very soon) need to be kept put away until naptime or before/after childcare hours.

@DesertDreams88: Then you have your answer! I think you have to know your audience when you're having these discussions, and you also need to be prepared if they say, okay, we won't be making any changes and you need to find an alternative. My parents are very involved in my son's life, my dad picks him up every day from Kindergarten, but I've told him time and again if it gets to be too much, to tell me and we'll work through a solution together. On the other hand, my dad DOES NOT listen when I tell him not to spoil my son. He's spoiled not with time, but attention, and that has its own problems. It's something that I have chosen not to make into a battle because I can't really affect any change on that front.