Were you really nervous for the ultrasound appointments? Because my first ultrasound was where it was revealed I might have miscarried, I feel like the next time I get pregnant, I will definitely dread that first ultrasound, and probably even after the first one. Did that fear ever go away during the entire term of your pregnancy?
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Nine weeks in, and this is still the case for me!! Especially the first one...it was awful, especially the measuring. I was also sweating up a storm today, too. The nerves have been better, but it is still hard. I think it helps if you have a doctor that is sympathetic to your feelings and lets you come in to get an early u/s. At least, that has helped me.
Sending you lots of hugs. Hoping that you get a sticky baby very, very soon!
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@LovelyPlum: thank you! i don't even know how i could contain my nerves for that first ultrasound when the time comes, i feel like i almost won't want to go in! that's how i felt today, i knew what it was going to be, and i also didn't want it pointed out to me. avoidance i guess. it didn't help my tech was incredibly rude the first time around, then answered her cell phone in the middle of it today while she was telling us there was never a baby in there.
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@chibee: please never go to that tech again. She makes me so mad for you!! What a jerk. I think it helps that my office actually also has a portable machine, so for almost all of my u/s, my doctor is actually the one doing them. I'll get a "real" one at 18 weeks, but so far, we've been able to see the baby at every appointment, and I've had 3! It is helping me feel less like a crazy person.
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It does get better...though it's hard to believe. My first few u/s (I had several early ones since we did IVF) I was really nervous since I also learned of my previous miscarriage at my first u/s. And, despite the unmistakable morning sickness, I just couldn't allow myself to feel pregnant for a long time. I just kept waiting for the inevitable bad news. I think it was around 14 weeks, when we started to tell people after getting back our screening results, that I started to believe that my pregnancy might actually result in a baby. Now at 22 weeks, I feel much more like I'm having a baby than not, though I think the scars of previous losses never go away. A little part of me still knows that there's a non-zero chance of the worst happening...but it's not all-consuming or terrifying like before. I'm starting to prepare for baby. I think that my last few u/s where she really looks like a baby, not like a seahorse, and is moving around, sucking her thumb, etc help make it more real.
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@LovelyPlum: I'm basically done with this office after the D&C. Most of it's not their fault but I've gotten nothing but bad news from this office from my LEEP to this miscarriage, I just associate it with bad stuff, you know? So for my next pregnancy adventures, I will be choosing a new OB. I'm so happy your pregnancy is going great!
@FlyingSquirrel: we (no, mostly DH) made the rookie mistake of telling people right away, and I am honestly forever scarred from this that I don't know when we'll tell people next. When we first found out I was counting down the days until we could tell more people, but I think i'll be incredibly reluctant to tell anyone next time. but i am so happy your pregnancy is progressing along great as well!
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We found out there was no heartbeat at our first ultrasound at 9 weeks. Baby measured exactly on time, so it must have JUST happened. It was a pretty traumatic experience, especially because there were absolutely no signs (cramping, bleeding, etc.) At our first ultrasound this time, I pretty much held my breath. I think the really nice tech noticed this because she asked if I was nervous.
I have a kinda high risk pregnancy, so I get lots of ultrasounds. Now, it's better because at 29 weeks, I can feel him move all the time. But before 20 weeks, I was scared before every ultrasound. I was terrified that they would tell me there was no heartbeat.
It's definitely gotten better, but I still have moments. If I'm particularly busy one day and can't remember if I've felt movements, I freak out a bit. Of course, he almost always starts moving as soon as I lie down and then I'm okay again.
Big, Big hugs
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After my mc I definitely fear my ultrasound appts I'm just starting to feel good about them after my NT scan at 12w6 which was my 3rd and now I'm 17 weeks today and feel so good and ready about my anatomy scan in a week so the fear will go away after time
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I'm 23 weeks, and I still feel like something will go wrong. I check the toilet & paper literally everytime I pee ... I can feel the baby at this point, and I still get freaked out (thinking discharge is amniotic fluid, etc.) ... I'm not overly paranoid, but going through a previous loss made me more in-tune with every little feeling in my body. While I have faith & belief that my body was made for this, the THOUGHTS are still there because of our loss.
To be encouraging though, I would just have little moments where I'd reflect on this new pregnancy. Telling myself that my body knows what it's doing ... baby is growing ... the last pregnancy is not related to this one ... etc. It really helped to calm my fears, and then each successful day/ultrasound/heartbeat/etc. made it all so much better.
As long as you can find the joy, I think the peace will find you!
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@chibee: 21 weeks in and I still get nervous when the dr goes to find the heartbeat. I wish I could say it gets easier but until I hold that baby I think I'll be nervous.
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I felt sick before our first u/s, and nervous even for subsequent ones! It got a bit better once I could feel her move... but even then I was nervous. And I was the same as @MrsH: I held my breath every time my midwife went to find the hb.
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@MrsH: same here at 28 weeks...like you said, until I'm actually holding them I think I'll continue to worry a bit. I kinda hold my breath a bit before each appt/ultrasound/test, etc.
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34 weeks and I'm still terrified. It was about the 22 weeks ultrasound that I started to feel a little like this was going to go the distance. Last week my doctor had to do a second ultrasound in me because I didn't see the heartbeat and he knew I would freak out all week until I saw it. She is breech so it was hard to see, so he pulled out the Doppler. Hang in there. I just had to remind myself that it's out of my hands, no matter how hard it is to think that.
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I never did stop worrying - mind, I haven't stopped worrying now she's here, either! It stopped being the first thing I thought about, though..... it just hung around at the back of my mind, after a while, which was generally quite bearable.
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I did worry throughout the pregnancy, every time I had an u/s or they were looking for a heartbeat. It did get a little better as time went on, though. When they finally put him in my arms, it was such a relief!
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I mc'd at 8 weeks and on this I worried up until about 15 weeks and then I calmed down some, but I think everyone worries a little bit during the whole pregnancy. Once I started feeling her move on regular basis, I felt so much better because I knew I could count the kicks and have a better idea if something was wrong.
We had told our families and I had told 2 people at work before the MC and it was really hard to not tell people this time. We told our families at 5 weeks, but ONLY because all of my siblings and their families were on vacation together at my parent's house and there was no way I could have gotten around the fact that I wasn't drinking. We didn't tell anyone else until 12 weeks and that was just really close friends. We started talking about it openly at about 18 weeks.
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@Vegmama: I did the toilet paper check too. It wasn't until he took up mixed martial arts in my belly that I truly felt comfortable.
@chibee: I changed OBs too. I opted not to have the d/c, and the old OB called me at home and offered cytotec so I wouldn't be "inconvenienced". I hung up the phone and never looked back.
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@chibee: Yes! I always felt like the other shoe was going to drop in pregnancy. I checked toilet paper constantly and was nervous for appointment.s Once I could feel the baby move, I felt pretty confident, though.
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