Came across this post while checking up on the blogs I read. I hope the author wouldn't mind me sharing here. I love the way she announced her pregnancy to her family and friends on FB. I'm debating sharing it on FB too! I hope we all get our "moment" soon! xoxo
http://barrenandunemployed.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/well-we-did-it/
eggplant / 11408 posts
Yep, I cried, too. So beautiful. Everyone DOES deserve their moment! 
kiwi / 614 posts
I think it's great that this woman wanted to share her story. I thought the video was cute, until the last frame "disclaimer". It bothers me that in that message she is essentially saying"hey sorry I wasn't happy for you when you got pregnant, but I'm pregnant now so you can be happy for me". I don't mean to be insensitive to the hardships and pain of IF, but I do not think that excuses the pain that can be caused to your family, sister, BF when they are excited about their pregnancy and you are going through rough times and essentially don't care/begrudge them it.
This happened to me, I tried very hard to be supportive of my sibling with IF despite being essentially blocked out of their lives while it was happening, when I had news to share it was very painful to experience their non-reaction. They didn't care and that hurt.
End rant - and congrats to the video lady.
bananas / 9899 posts
@Chastenet: She apologized, what else can she do?
As someone on the other side, with a sister currently pregnant (a sister who told me multiple times she never wanted kids and even that having kids is selfish) with an "oops" baby with her boyfriend of 4 months (well, they just got engaged 2 days ago), it's incredibly hard for me. IF leaves me with feelings of failure, inadequacy, sadness and terror. It is not easy to overcome. One of the hardest thing is seeing others so easily obtain what you need to sweat, cry and bleed over (literally). I've been having to train myself in the mirror for 2 weeks just to prepare for offering her congratulations in person this weekend without bursting in to tears. It's the best I can do. And frankly, she has enough people getting all excited over her pregnancy, I'm sure people can make some exception for me.
pomelo / 5228 posts
What a great way to share their story! I love all the various "announcements" at the end.
pomelo / 5228 posts
@Chastenet: Its hard to understand what it feels like if you haven't been there yourself. I get that it is hurtful to you that your friend wasn't happy for you, but IF is an all-consuming part of life, and its hard to be happy for someone else when you're struggling so hard to get there yourself. Some of us fake it better than others, but most of us will break down about these announcements eventually.
kiwi / 614 posts
@Mrs.Someone: I didn't have to deal with IF, but I did have a loss, so I know a little something about serious anguish en route to pregnancy. While ttc, no matter what stage you're in, can be all-consuming, sometimes it simply isn't about you. I think it's important to try very hard to take a step back and put things into perspective. I understand that one person's announcement is a painful reminder that you aren't there yet. I had that experience after my loss. But, one person's announcement is just that, their announcement, it has nothing to do with your personal experience, no bearing on your ultimate outcome, it's just a happy time for them. My situation did not concern a friend, it was my brother, and it hurt that he and his wife completely brushed off my pregnancy and did not react at all.
kiwi / 614 posts
(I knew my comment wouldn't make me very popular - I'm not trying to offend anyone who's going through IF. I get it, it's very, very hard. But I still think the video would have been 100% better without the disclaimer. If she felt the need to apologize to people, a personal apology would have been better and "I'm sorry for how I acted" is better than "I'm sorry, but I was going through this, so that excuses my actions, I'm sure you understand".)
pomelo / 5228 posts
@Chastenet: I understand your point, and I agree that its important to try and be happy for others, but its easier said than done. Like I said, some of us are better at it than others, but none of us mean any harm.
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
I had tears going down my face with this. We got pregnant on our first try, but had a miscarriage and it took several months for us to get our next positive. I know it's nowhere near as long as many of you have waited, and I cannot help but pray that your waits are short.
pomelo / 5607 posts
Love this! Do think it would have been better without the apology/disclaimer, but only because it seemed very out of place. I think it would have made more sense as a separate thing, like a FB status or even private message.
And with regards to the discussion on hurt feelings, all of the feelings, on both sides, are valid. It's understandable to be hurt when a loved one isn't excited for something so important to you. It's understandable to be unable to feel excited for someone else's announcement when you're so devastated by your own situation. Everyone deserves a little grace, especially with things so fraught with emotion.
pear / 1743 posts
I think that was beautiful, and applaud her for taking on a taboo subject.
persimmon / 1085 posts
This made me cry! I related to every single card! I do agree that I don't think the disclaimer/apology was necessarily appropriate but I can't judge. If she wanted to do it that way, so be it.
@Torchwood Well said and I agree. I had such trouble with people around me being pregnant (neighbor and two close co-workers while miscarrying, then dealing with pre-IVF battles) and it was almost impossible not to break down crying around them. I just forced smiles as much as I could, but I did avoid them as much as possible. I just couldn't be around them too much.
coconut / 8475 posts
@Chastenet: I totally get where you're coming from. I see her point of view but I believe the disclaimer was like an umbrella "I'm sorry" and was unnecessary and basically gave an excuse (valid one but insensitive and too generalized nonetheless).
I love this video and so glad they got their moment and the responses they received.
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