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@looch: This reminds me of the movie Raising Helen, "That was a very bad thing to do, but it does not make you a bad kid." Ha.
I agree with most everybody else. It's the parent's responsibility to teach respect to their child. Their response was the worst though. I could understand if say my toddler ran over and climbed on it, but I would be mortified and immediately run to get him off. I would apologize profusely. I think that it's their response that was inappropriate.
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Absolutely not.
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@edelweiss: I guess I don't think "horrible" is that bad and is pretty accurate considering what happened (I mean I say "Omigosh that's horrible!" when someone tells me they had a bad flu for a few days). If they had wrote "F*cking horrible", I'd agree it was too much.
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This is absolutely not OK on the part of the family, but the tweet makes me sad. Working in a school, I ask myself all the time -- how are we supposed to teach kids to use social media wisely when their own parents and other adults use it unwisely all the time? Yes, it's the world we live in, and maybe it's her "right," but it's sad. She should have TOLD THE GUARD and been on her way. She could have tsk-tsked about it with her art gallery pals later on....
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Omg, I would have been horrified too if I saw that happening! I don't want irresponsible parenting like that ruin taking children to museum as a whole.
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@mamimami: Agreed!!
Also @looch: good points about kindness.
Two wrongs don't make a right!
@nana87: that's also true... I usually think thy society should be more tolerant of kids on these type of stories (even before I became a parent) but in this case the parents were clearly in the wrong and being disrespectful.
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Parents need to teach their children respect for other peoples property. Simple as that. You do not touch anything that is not yours, you do not climb on that, you don't eat that. I have extended family who come over to my poor parents house and leave it destroyed. The parents sit in the corners and chat while their kids have a freaking psycho party. It's just basic respect.
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I would never allow my child to do this, ever.
However, I think the behavior of the gallery owner was complete inappropriate. Tweeting a photo, name calling... totally unprofessional.
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@Arden: Well he didn't need to worry about being professional. It wasn't his gallery (he is a gallery owner, not the owner of the gallery he was in). He was just a visitor like these parents where.
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While yes, it was unprofessional to tweet the photo with the name calling, would it have been so to do it without the use of the word "horrible"? I mean, it's led to (I'm assuming) many conversations about appropriate behavior in public, and perhaps has reminded some parents that these are things that need to be taught, not just assumed that kids know what to do off the bat.
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@pui: Oh, I misunderstood that, I thought it was his gallery.
Regardless, I really don't like seeing public shaming involving children. I would never take a photo of a stranger and call them out on social media like that.
I might say something directly to them or go speak to a guard, but this approach was rude and obnoxious.
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This is NOT ok at all in my book, and the person who snapped the photo was spot on with their caption. I'm not even an "artsy" person, but this is just ridiculous. Some parents think just because they have children, it makes them exempt from all the rules.
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This is completely inappropriate behavior. We take our children to art museums and galleries all the time and absolutely do not allow any sort of touching, running, screaming and definitely no climbing on anything anywhere in the museum. Every single time we set foot in a museum, I remind DS of the rules. The parents need to rein in their kids. If you want to take your children to see art, you also have to explicitly tell them how to behave. Occasionally there are interactive pieces or art that people are allowed to climb on or touch and when that is the case, we definitely encourage exploration. Incidentally the same artist in the link has a large sculpture a block from our house in the park and my son rides his scooter in zig zags around it.
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I don't think the post/comment using the word horrible was out of line, at all. IMO, they WERE being horrible. If they don't want to be called that, then maybe have some more respect for their surroundings.
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@Mrs. Twine: I agree.
What I think is terrible is the public shaming and tweeting. Handle the situation and don't publicly humiliate and bad mouth a family. I feel the same about the recent Chicago restaurant! Unprofessional and classless.
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@pinkcupcake: I agree.
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@Arden: I agree.
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@Greentea: Isn't public shaming the oldest form of enforcing societal norms though? It used to be small communities where everyone knew everyone, but in the new digital world that means digital shaming. And clearly these people did not see the error of their ways via just being told they were acting inappropriately. Maybe after it going viral and seeing thousands of people (parents and non-parents alike) agree that they were being bad parents at that moment, they will learn. And maybe others who might think about doing something similar will learn too.
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Everyone came out badly here. The gallery should've put up a rope around it... the parents shouldn't have let the kid climb up on it, and should have listened when the gallery asked them not to be on it... the gallery shouldn't have tweeted a picture with the kid's face on it... all around, the whole thing is a debacle.
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@Mae: way to think critically
(I like that.)
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@mrbee: The gallery didn't post the photo, another visitor did.
Also, while a rope would have helped, was it really necessary? I mean, I think it's pretty obvious that letting your kid climb on art is an awful thing to do.
Geez, it just occurred to me... imagine if they had broken it? o_o
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@pui: Ah ok. In any case, I think that picture shows that a rope is indeed necessary! When artwork is so valuable, it probably shouldn't be so easily accessible.
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@Greentea: lol sociology major… I knew it would come in handy some day
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@Mae: so you could say it's a cultural lag when it comes to enforcing societal norms
(I just finished sociology last semester haha!) -
I can see how that sculpture would be SO ENTICING to a child. Heck, to be fair - I'm sure the guards remind plenty of adults not to touch the art too! Obviously the parents should have told their child not to play on it. And it looks like they do have another kid who wasn't playing on it, if that helps the situation at all. Maybe they were just busy paying attention to that one, didn't notice what was happening, and responded rudely when someone called them out on it? Who knows.
I do think the gallery should have roped it off. I am guessing that if it had broken their insurance company would have been quite upset that it wasn't.
I am just thankful my worst parenting moments haven't been broadcast over the internet for others to criticize.
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@mrbee: I think it should be common sense that if you're in an art gallery you don't let your kids climb on things like they're at the park. A rope can't stop a kid who's parents don't care anyway.
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@pui: a rope can at least indicate "don't touch"! People touch even paintings in frames all the time. And lean or sit on sculptures. Believe it or not! You wouldn't believe the number of ways museums enforce no touching... And it's all strategically done based on a number of things.
But like I said before.. Anyone who is OK with their kid doing this really has no business bringing them into a museum filled with valuable art!
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@Mae: I was thinking the same thing! It's interesting that our society has really gone so far from the "it takes a village" concept of raising a child. Just a generation or two ago, if a kid (or parent, or anyone) was "acting up" or doing something wrong, any random adult would have no problem saying, "honey, we don't touch expensive things that aren't ours", or whatever the case may be. But now, a lot of parents would be outraged that someone dared to question their parenting choices.
If strangers are telling you (and having gallery employees tell you to get off the artwork is definitely telling you) that your child is being obnoxious in public, then it might be time for some healthy introspection about things you could improve in their general behavior and how you might go about it, you know?
It definitely comes back to the fact that a lot of people our age (and I mean the parents here) were raised to think we are special snowflakes that are always the exception to rules...and now we're taking the same stance in the way we parent.
And it some cases, it's obviously not working. Like this one.
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@Anagram: totally agree on all accounts!
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@mrs. wagon: I think there is a huge difference between touching and letting your kid climb on it. The latter should be an obvious "no no", I'd think. If these parents had just let their kids put her hands all over the art, while still not a stellar thing to do, it would have been much more forgiveable.
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@Anagram: wow this is so good.
@pui: very true, and yes, what if they had broken it?? How could those parents not be worried about that??
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Wow, this is pretty unbelievable. I can't believe the parents just did nothing! I don't really think any of our assessments of the artwork and how much it "should" be worth are relevant because the fact is, this is a museum and unless otherwise directed, you are not supposed to touch anything at a museum. I don't really think it matters whether or not a rope was there either -- if these parents have been a part of normal society at any point in their lives, they know their kid should not be touching that. I wouldn't call the kid horrible, but the parents? Sure.
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@pui: I think it should be common sense too! But at least in this case, it looks like common sense can't be relied upon... so the gallery should take additional measures.
We just took the kids to the American Museum of Natural History, and it was really interesting to see how ropes communicated the intent of the museum. Some of the dinosaur exhibits didn't have ropes around them, and seemed to encourage kids to touch them. I looked closely and in those cases, the exhibits were of fake plaster or plastic dinosaur bones... and the lack of ropes was meant to encourage kids to interact with the display.
I realize that an art gallery is different from a museum, but I think any public institution showing multi-million dollar objects should take measures to convey to visitors that they shouldn't touch items (putting items behind glass, putting a rope around them, having a guard standing in front of the item, etc.). Even if common sense covers 99% of visitors, that still leaves the 1% of clueless people who could do real damage to a valuable item.
ps All that said, I think the parents of the kids really screwed up here and I would be horrified if my kids did anything close to this at a gallery or museum!!
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@mrbee: Eh we'll have to agree to disagree I suppose. I don't think letting your child lie on a piece of art fits under "clueless", it's better described by "boorish". It doesn't help that when they were confronted they didn't apologize.
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@mrbee: oh that is cool. I didn't know that about the American Museum of Natural History. Next time we are in NY to visit family, I will have to take J there! I bet he would love it.
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@pui: My main point is that if you are showing multimillion dollar objects to the public, it's important to protect the items from potential damage. I think any gallery or museum has to plan for the worst case scenario... maybe I'm cynical, but I don't think it's a good idea to hope that visitors will all use good judgment and common sense!
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@mrbee: if these parents let their kid crawl INSIDE the sculpture though, what makes you think a flimsy rope would stop them from letting the kid crawl under it and climb inside it? I think those floor sensor things are the best option obviously, but those must be expensive.
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@Mae: I think a rope is better than nothing... better yet would be a wooden fence-like enclosure. At the Natural History Museum, they used both pretty regularly to protect their artifacts... along with having a lot of guards and museum staff.
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@mrbee: I agree! I think that there are so many different ways art is "done" now. Some sculptures invite touch, interaction, and non-visual interaction. I think that while the assumption should probably be "don't touch," if a gallery was interested in protecting their investment, they should rope it off.
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@mrbee: we went to the Hermitage museums a couple of years ago and one of the most amazing aspects of it is that nothing is roped off - you can walk RIGHT up to some of the most famous paintings and no alarms go off, no guards rush at you. I'm sure at some point some crazy person, or some a-hole, self-involved parent will ruin some priceless piece of art and ruin the experience for everyone else after that, but it's a pretty amazing difference in museum policy!
I think the parents are to blame and deserve any public shaming they get. They did behave in a horrible and disrespectful manner. You can't always control a toddler every moment, but this was blatant not caring at all.
(I like that.)
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