I've posted a couple times about our process of wanting to TTC and what we are going through to get the go ahead from the OB.
Well, after our productive preconception counseling appt last week I told my sisters and mom about what the OB said. My older sister acted excited but my little sister seems kinda "whatever" about it.
I asked my older sister if she knew what the other was thinking about it and she wouldn't really say. But, then proceeded to tell me that she's surprised the OB isn't more concerned with my weight and that she's worried I'll die during or after delivery.
I was like wait a minute. I'm heavy but woman bigger than me have babies everyday.
It's got me so worried now that maybe we are being careless. We already have two children and god forbid something happen to me.
The OB said I'd just stay on my Weight Watchers plan and try not to gain really anything during my pregnancy. I'm tracking my BP twice a day right now and it's looking pretty good. I'm taking a multivitamin daily. I just thought there would be less nay saying once the OB gave us the go ahead. But, it seems that isn't really the case and it makes me kinda sad.
Aside from that, we have been getting a lot of " Idk if I'd start over if I had my other kids 8 and 5". I mean I get it, I'm not going to be able to sleep again for awhile and it's going to be difficult and all but since I've done this already twice, why don't they think I'm aware of this stuff?
Why can't it just be happiness? I'm not feeling well today and probably being a little sensitive but it's bothering me nonetheless.
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Wow, that is horrible! Im sorry, why is it that people can't just be excited for other people? Don't let them bother you im sure if your doctor thought you would die from having a child they wouldn't help you do it. Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you
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@cyndistar3: Thanks!
I mean , I'm not oblivious to the issues and that's why we saw the OB before starting to TTC. So, it just kinda sucks that they feel that way. -
Sorry to hear youre not getting the support you expected.. I think if you were my sister I'd be concerned too and would ask the same questions.. Especially given your medical history and past labor experiences.
You can always count on family to burst your bubble and rain on your parade, but I'm pretty sure they're just worried about you.. I hope you do have a healthy pregnancy though! Good luck! -
Idk, I do understand being concerned but I feel as if theres a difference between "yay! I hope everything goes well" and "I hope you don't die because youre overweight..."
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@cyndistar3: That's how I took it too!!!!
But, DH is trying to make me understand that they are probably trying to be concerned like @chopsuey119: is saying.
But, it's hard when you just want everyone to be on board. I can't make ppl not worried and I suppose it would be kinda crappy if they weren't a little concerned?
It's nice to be able to see both sides of it. Thanks ladies! -
With regards to your weight, I think the doctors would let you know if they are worried about it or if they think you need to lose a certain amount before proceeding.
Your family probably arent excited since you have had previous children, they will probably be more excited once you are actually pregnant -
I know its hard to not get the support or excitement you are expecting from friends and family. Many people don’t really get excited about things if you are just in the TTC process (or prior to the TTC process), because its sort of an unknown place to be in – I mean, I’m sure they would be supportive if you were having trouble TTC, or be more excited once you are actually pregnant. Right now they just may feel like “ok…and…?” about the whole situation because there isn’t much concrete info for them, and not really know what to say, or what you are looking for from them.
It might help if you addressed your sisters’ concerns head on (maybe you did?). If she says she is worried about your weight, just tell her that you’ve discussed it in depth with your OB and tell her what your OB said. If she insists that the OB should have been more worried, just repeat that the OB is a professional, and her professional opinion is X. Does your sister know you plan to stay on Weight Watchers while pregnant? Maybe she is just worried, and doesn’t know if you’ve really discussed the issue in depth with your doctor (?).
If my sibling announced he/his wife were going to start TTC at some point in the next few months, I don’t know what sort of reaction I would have beyond saying “ok”. I would be supportive, but I just don’t know what they would really want from me, know what I mean? Maybe this is the situation?
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@yoursilverlining: That makes sense. We have been open about our plans to meet with the OB and get the "all clear" to TTC. So, once that appt was complete I sent a mass text to my sisters and mom explaining how it went because my mom and older sister had asked me too. I got great responses from those two and then got "cool" from the other one.
Not knowing my little sister it's hard to understand why that response wasn't what I expected.
I did tell them the exact plan of action the OB wanted me/us to proceed with. So, there isn't an issue of non information
My older sister thinks I worry too much about what other ppl think and she's right. I think I'm hoping that everyone will be excited once we are officially pregnant.
@Mrsbells: I agree.
I love having this place as a sounding board. Now that I've gotten my thoughts out I can see more clearly where they are probably coming from. It's not really as exciting to know someone is almost TTC as it is for the couple. I don't think I really thought about that for some reason. -
=( this is the time when you really need a good support group. sorry they're making you feel like this. that sux boodie.
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I'm sorry that you're not receiving the emotional support you need through this time.
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@tequiero21: @mrsjyw: Thanks ladies!!!
I am taking it all in stride now. We are within a week of knowing if DH is a carrier for CF. If he is we will not be TTC and just give up hope of one last baby. If he isn't then we will be TTC as of 2/15/12.
I imagine everyone will be on board once I'm actually pregnant.
Being able to vent here is so helpful! -
I'm glad you were able to find support here! And it's true: once you announce you are pregnant, then your family will be on board and happy for you! When I was first mentioning my desire to TTC our first child, I found a lot of the comments from people to be annoying. I vented about it (on WB, then learned about hellobee, yay!). Being able to talk about it and reading everyone's responses helped me process my feelings and stop second guessing our decision due to the naysayers (ugh). good luck Crisark!
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Im hopeful for you that your DH is not a carrier! I haven't been in the exact position as you, but I'm nervous to TELL my parents I'm expecting for fear of negative reactions. I just remind myself that eventually, our families come around, and in the meantime we are so lucky to have the bee
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@MrsLilybugg: @sorrycharlie: Thank you ladies!!!!
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