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We've started doing them around 36 weeks or so, and DH does them for me. I've read how uncomfortable they can be, so I was really nervous trying it out- but just like you- I'll do ANYTHING to avoid an episiotomy or tearing!! But, I think if you take it really slow and don't try to overdo it in one day, they don't hurt at all- it's just...weird! LOL! If it was uncomfortable, we would stop or even skip a few days. Just listen to your body. DH has commented on how much more he can "pull", so I'm hopeful that it's working! Good luck!!

I meant to do this, but never got around to it. I tried to do it on myself, but it was too awkward and then I just sort of forgot about asking DH to help me.
I ended up delivering with no tears and just 2 small "grazes". I think keeping hydrated and eating a diet of high EFAs was probably partly responsible.

We didn't do it. And I got a 2nd degree tear.... so I feel like it can't hurt any!

@keiki_mama: and@Nskillet: Sorry. I should have written it out. Essential fatty acids. We eat a lot of fish and veggies.

The other thing is that the midwives here are trained to minimize damage to the perineum. When I was pushing, there was a point just as he was crowning that she told me to stop and pant- just for a few seconds to give things time to expand naturally- instead of rushing ahead and pushing. Those few seconds SUCKED, but pushing him out felt awesome.

@MegWag: Good to know for my next time... although hopefully I'm nice and stretched out so I won't tear again. Although last pregnancy fish made me want to puke. I couldn't imagine not pushing at the very end... but obviously it was worth while!

@Nskillet: Sadly, no. I'd planned on it, but at 36 hours when they told me they needed to up my dose of syntocin I cracked. I had a drug called remifentanil for 4 hours and then nothing for the last 30 minutes. It was a life saver to get me through the home stretch, but then still be able to feel everything when I was actually pushing him out.

@artbee: LOL! My husband is a pescaterian so I'd be SOL if I didn't eat it

I didn't do this it my doctor did during delivery. I had no idea she was doing it (too focused on pain management) until DH told me afterward and said she was really stretching it out. I tore just a tiny bit so I think the massaging and not pushing the baby out full force helped.

@Nskillet: First of all ... regarding the episiotomy, they absolutely to not cut your back to your anus, the episiotomy cut is made at a 45 degree angle to your anus, and it can actually protect you from ripping to your anus.

This is yucky, but think about your nether regions like perforated paper, with your vagina, anus, and urethra being the perforations ... if you naturally put pressure on the perforations, what happens? The rip naturally tends to go towards the weak spots (i.e. urethra and anus) and thats obviously bad! If it looks like you might get a bad tear (i.e. skin is really tight and waxy looking) the epis done in the right way relieves the pressure and goes in a safer direction.

You can also just have small tears from the shoulders coming out (those are the "skid marks" people talk about).

People try perineal massage, but I have asked the OB's at my hospital about it, and they told me they see no difference in tears between those who do and don't do it ... so it you do it right it wouldn't hurt, but probably won't help (I am not going to bother ... I want my DH's interactions with my parts to be play, not work).

Honestly, as long as you pay attention to the instructions of your caregiver, and they provide chances for stretching and perineal support while the head exits, that is your best protection. I have never been to a delivery where the doctor does not provide support to the perineum. Most of the bad tears I have seen were impacted by Mom's losing control, and pushing when they were told to stop and give the head a chance to stretch the tissues. Not to say they wouldn't have torn anyways, but losing control and not paying attention to instructions definitely didn't help!