DS is 21 months and a very picky eater. He basically will not eat anything new, and hasn't since he was around 12m. The list of foods he does eat is pretty healthy (I've written them below in case it's relevant), but I am just struggling a bit with feeling like it will never improve!

I think I have been a big part in creating this situation - he had a tongue tie diagnosed late, and all the resultant feeding issues made me very paranoid and over anxious about his eating. From about 6m to 12m I was very pushy about his solids intake, always encouraging him to eat more and getting upset if he didn't want to. So I feel like I know where I went wrong - I just can't seem to put it right.

What I do now is for lunch most days I give him a new food (usually leftovers from mine and DHs dinner). He also gets a very small yoghurt at the same time (about 1.5 tbsps). I do not put any pressure on him to eat the food, and I eat together with him and we chat. Sometimes he will try a spoon of it, most times not - but he always spits it back out anyway. I leave the food there until he either starts dumping it out, or he says he is finished. I then ask him once if he wants to eat it, he says no and then I take it away.

I often then eat the food myself, which I am wondering if is a mistake. I don't do this with any sort of agenda or to make him feel bad - I am just a hungry pregnant lady and I hate waste! But maybe I shouldn't do this in front of him?

For his dinner he gets food he likes, as it feels harsh for him to miss 2 meals in a row - but maybe that is what it will take? People always say kids will eat when they're hungry but he never seems at all fussed by only having a few mouthfuls of yoghurt for lunch - despite the fact that he can put away a huge amount if given his preferred foods.

Any advice / success stories / commiseration is very welcome! I'm not really worried about his health at this stage, I just want him to be able to enjoy a variety of food and not always have to take his meals with me!

Here's what he does eat in case it's relevant - sorry about the list...
Most cereals & porridge
Toast / bread
Grapes / strawberries / bananas / blueberries
Avocado
Cucumber
Broccoli stalks (not the heads)
Cheddar cheese
Houmous
Black olives
Chips (fries)
Pasta with tomato sauce (won't eat it with anything else or plain)
Homemade baked beans (won't eat the tinned ones!)
Homemade spaghetti bolognaise (made with beef mince - this is the only meat he will eat)
Cauliflower in cheese sauce
Yoghurt
Most biscuit or cake items
Raisins