Hellobee Boards

following bc DD, 5 yo, has been asking for a play date with som of her classmates but I have no idea how to even approach it. DD and her friend are always talking about it when I pick up and one time the little girl kept saying "call my mom" but I don't even have her #..... soooooo??? And we don't cross paths, like I never see her at pick up so I can broach the subject then..... I could leave a note for her but my thought is if her DD is asking why isn't she reaching out to me too??

Anyway, following to see what others do bc my DD is a SOCIAL butterfly and I just know she will want lots and lots of play dates!!!

ps. thanks for starting this post.

I gave DD (she's in K) a note to give a girl on her bus who she has made friends with after she told me they wanted to have a play date. The mom texted me a few days later and we set one up. She actually reciprocated the next play date right away and DD will be going there next weekend. The dad dropped her off and didn't even come in which I thought was super weird because I've never met him. When I drop DD off at their house I plan to chat for a few minutes just to make sure they're not weirdos.

We've had one other drop-off play date at our house which I set up via text with a dad who we've met a number of times and whose daughter is in the same class as mine. He said the next play date could be at their house, but hasn't set it up yet. I think he's probably just busy, and I plan to ask if his daughter wants to come back over again soon. I don't take having to initiate personally at all, because I could just as soon not set up play dates and DD would be perfectly happy playing at home with her sister, but she struggles a little socially so I think they are valuable.

There was a family at DD's preschool/daycare who we really hit it off with and we used to get together with them fairly frequently. We never did drop off play dates with them because it gave us a chance to socialize together too. We also have a group of 4 families we do monthly dinners with, and there are 10 kids between us. I really like these bigger get togethers where we all get to socialize, but I think the one-on-one play dates are also really valuable for building friendships and working on social skills.

I'll be honest, we haven't done any play dates yet with school friends. The only playdates we've done are with the friends DS1 made in daycare since I know the moms and the boys have been friends for many years now. I'm not opposed necessarily to play dates with new friends but I'm a little wary since I don't know the parents and don't know their homes. I can see meeting at a park or something first in order to get comfortable with their parents and start that relationship.

@irene: I think you are reading too much into this. If you want to schedule a play date, ping the mom and see what happens. Worst case scenario she says no.

Telling a child you are open to a play date does not necessarily translate into a promise to put effort into scheduling one. I always feel put on the spot when a child says that to me and their mom is not there. I am very underwater on life right now and play dates are not on my priority list unless my son is reeeeeeally pushing for one. And then it is easier to schedule one with someone we already know. But that is not exactly a sentiment I can express to a child so I usually just say something vaguely positive and non-committal.

Personally I have scheduled a bunch of play dates over the past few years. I work full time so my policy is that I have to meet the parents before I will allow a play date at a private location (ie our house or theirs) while I am not there.

We only really do drop off play dates with one family that we know quite well.

My oldest son started kindergarten this year, and we haven’t had any play dates with his classmates, but we did have some last year with a few daycare friends. I had their phone numbers from birthday party RSVPs, so I contacted them that way. With one mom, she just dropped her son off every time, which I found a bit surprising. The other mom usually stayed, one time she dropped her son off because her older son had a hockey game she wanted to see. The first mom has never reciprocated - every time she does say “oh, next time maybe you can come to our house!” but then I never actually hear from her. I don’t take it personally - actually it’s kind of a relief because I don’t feel comfortable just dropping my son off, but I don’t really click with the mom and don’t want to make small talk for a few hours while the kids play. The other mom has invited us over a few times also, and I really like her, so that’s fun.

@irene: we've been approached a couple of times this year for playdates. Like everyone else, we are busy so they can be hard to schedule. But both times, the moms just emailed me (we have a class email list) and said their kiddo has been asking for a play date and asked if I would be interested in scheduling one. Both times I said yes, but it took a while to actually plan. Like most other families, we are pretty busy, so we definitely can't do like weekly standing play dates or anything. Maybe like 1x a month at most.

The question about have I become friends with any of them.....no. not yet. They all seem nice, but I already have such limited time, lol. It's not an impossibility, it just hasn't happened yet. I barely see my existing mom friends as it is, although this morning I managed to have a play date with MY mom friends (we got together so we could chat while the kids played). But that happens about 1x every other month.