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I am a former nanny. A written contract is essential to protect both you and your nanny. As a nanny I didn't mind the occasional "other task", but it was usually me who initiated it (I.e. Putting away laundry, loading the dishwasher). If you use a nanny-cam I would hope you would disclose that to your nanny.

I used to be a nanny and worked for several families. Trust is huge, so I never was on nanny cam and I am not sure I would work for someone who put me on one. Definitely disclose if you do. I never had a written contract. I resented being given lots of chores, but always tried to do as much as I could. I loved giving all of my attention to the kids though.

Another former nanny here! A verbal agreement was always adequate for us. I was paid cash. I was expected to care for and clean up after LO (s) as well as laundry, dishes, occasional mopping or vacuuming but if I didn't get to it that day it was never a big deal. No one felt the need to keep their home super neat because if me and I didn't judge them. I pitched in as much as I could yo compensate for what they didnt/couldn't get to but it was never a big deal.

This is a good introduction to all things nannies: http://www.parkslopeparents.com/Nanny-101/hiring-a-babysitter-part-1-preparation.html

We did a nanny share from 6 mos to almost 2 yrs, when we moved cross-country. We couldn't have been happier - our nanny was an amazing person with tons of energy and love, and I felt completely confident in her abilities. It was really hard to leave and we still think of her often. We asked if she'd be open to a nanny cam, which she was, but we ended up not getting one. We trusted her and they spent most of their time outside anyway. We paid on the books through Breedlove (I think the name has changed).

@FliegepilzHut: We have a nanny 3 days a week and I really had to get over thinking she was going to judge me. I apologized at first and then just told her that we try to keep the house in the best order possible, but that we work full time and when we are home we are trying to focus on LO. She was very nice and pointed out that if someone came to her house every week it wouldn't be in pristine condition either. She also said, very sweetly, that she was around to take stress OFF our family, not add the burden of feeling like I need to clean before she arrives.

Feel free to wall me with any questions.

We have a nanny share and love it. It's a pretty typical situation around here so I don't feel weird at all (although I do sometimes feel awkard about the term "nanny"). I will say that when we first started, I did feel like the house had to be cleaner than average but after almost 3 years, I do not. The only thing I do differently is keep the sink dish-free.

I have had a nanny for my 1 baby for over 3 months. I refuse to feel bad or apologize for any decisions we make that are best for our family, so no self-consciousness on our part.

We only have a verbal contract, but my DH and my schedules are very flexible and we could WFH while we found a replacement, she was also very clear in the beginning that she was looking for a long time gig, no something short term. She had nannied for one other family and worked at a gym's daycare before she started working for my family. I do not have a nanny cam. I was upfront at the beginning that I would pay on the books and there was no other option. But my nanny wants to be paid weekly, and that's fine with me.

We asked during the interview process if she'd pick up around the house when the baby was napping and she said yes and she's been living up to it. When J has good naps, I come home to a clean kitchen, if J doesn't nap well, it can still be pretty messy, including his toys out etc. I feel like it's nice to start the week organized for her sake but it devolves throughout the week and she deals.

I feel like your relationship with your nanny is up to the nanny and you and your partner. I always felt like her being a nanny was her being an employee but with a job that's very special and that's how our relationship is. I feel like she should be helping around the house if J sleeps 3 of her 8 working hours, I don't get 3 hour breaks at work. But I absolutely think that her taking 2-3 30 min breaks for herself is reasonable. I pay her for weeks that we "take off" and try to let her know ahead of time. She has 6 paid days off (2 of her weeks) to use as she sees fit. If she needs to come late or leave early every once and awhile, no problem. I chat with her and we're friendly. But I also need to feel comfortable correctly things that I don't like (and let go of things i don't love but that don't really matter).
Well, there's my novel, feel free to ask questions

I have worked as a nanny and have hired a nanny, although we just called her the babysitter even though she provided everyday care for my DD. I only had verbal agreements when I worked as a nanny and that is what we did when we hired ours (upon her request). However, our nanny situation lasted only 8 months and the nanny knew we would be switching to daycare at a certain date. If I was hiring a full time nanny for an indefinite period of time, I would have a written agreement and use a nanny payroll service. No experience with nanny cams, but I would disclose it if I were to use one.