Hellobee Boards

Haha! I don't have any to share, yet, but those are pretty funny.

As soon as I handed R back to the nurses to be weighed, cleaned, etc, I asked for a turkey sandwich. I knew my mom had half of one left from her dinner (7 hours before) and I serious fantasized about it while I was pushing. 28 hours of no food will do that to a girl!

@ElbieKay: That's hilarious.

When I was being stitched up after LO, I was hitting the gas-mask pretty hard (30 stitches or so). 'Inner Ninja' came on my iPod, and according to DH, I pulled off the mask and yelled "Good song" in this really mellow voice. Oh dear.

The second or third night we were home, DH got up to pee. Well, he was so sleep deprived that he peed all over his pyjama pants...which made me feel better about peeing myself the day before

I took photos of my c-section scar with the bandages on because I couldn't angle myself properly to see it. Months later the photos were still on my camera (I forgot) and my 11 year old niece discovered them. She was horrified.

I never used the sitz bath, but we did use it to give C a bath for the first few weeks until I felt comfortable putting her in the baby bath!

DH pulled me aside in the hospital when we had visitors because he thought I had peed my pants. Nope! Just sweated right through my clothes . Why did nobody tell me about the postpartum sweating?!?

@singingbee: hahaha!

I crapped my pants in the middle of Buy Buy Baby.

No warning. No prairie-dogging. I was talking to DH and said "I think we should get this size and - omg I just $h!t my pants."

He started laughing and I was like "NO I AM DEAD SERIOUS THAT JUST HAPPENED." I kept asking him to check for signs of visible damage while I got myself together to run to the bathroom.

Strangely, the day before I had asked DH to go to CVS and buy me "the biggest pads he could find." I meant big like fluffy, but he had bought some flat ones that folded up like 4 times. You know how usually they fold like a 2-fold wallet? These folded like 4 times. And the back part had WINGS that folded in too. It essentially covered my entire bottom like a bikini bottom.

So, long story short, I happened to be wearing that pad style and ended up with zero casualties. Ran to the restroom and was very glad I had pads and wipes in my diaper bag.

I also think it traumatized my sister for life. She kept asking my mom "Does that, like... HAPPEN? Is that NORMAL?"

Ohhhh sister. NOTHING PP is normal. It's alllll crazy.

@kjpugs: bahaha! OMG isn't it the BEST?? I remember thinking how low my life had gotten at that point and missing my yester years, when I never crapped myself. Long gone are those days, apparently!

I full on peed my pants in our parking lot when we got home. I started laughing hysterically (at a joke I told myself in my head - holy hormone changes!) and couldnt get myself inside or squeeze hard enough to stop. The giant diaper pads they give you are absorbent but they aren't THaT absorbent! So, DH's first daddy duty was cleaning his wife's pee pants. Awesome.

@kjpugs: OH MY GOSH. I just read this to my husband (we're TTC) and he cracked up and said "Well babe, if you ever crap your pants, I'll still love you. But I will definitely laugh." Hahahahahaha thank you so much for sharing!