Yesterday I started the 3 day method with DS age 2.5. I’m afraid it was a total fail and wondering if I should go back to diapers and try again another time?
He held his pee ALL day and finally went in his pants at 7pm. Does this mean he’s not ready?
ETA I put him in a diaper overnight as he was quite distressed about peeing in his pants and didn’t want him stressing at bedtime. He had another big pee in diaper shortly after I put it on.
persimmon / 1467 posts
The first day of potty training with both my boys felt like a huge failure. Each day after was a little better. Neither was completely done in 3 days, but we definitely made progress in 3 days.
Don't worry about nap or nighttime potty training, that will come later.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@Autumnmama79: I would try to stick it out with the 3 days. It is supposed to be hard at first. What did the day look like for you?
We did a version of 3 day and at first they had to sit on the potty every xx minutes. We made a big deal of celebrating successes—stickers, m&ms, chart, prizes for every 3 successes, etc. there were accidents but by the end of the 3 days it was pretty functional.
If your kiddo is absolutely not ready there is no harm in waiting though.
pear / 1703 posts
@brownepiano: thanks for responding. So you think I should carry and and put in back in underdpants for the day?
pear / 1703 posts
@MamaCate: the day was spent at home and a short trip to the park close to our house. We practiced getting on and off the toilet several times in the morning. I did not set a timer for trying every few minutes but I think I will today. I’ll also get some treats and see if that will entice him. Thanks for your input!
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@Autumnmama79: the first day we watched Elmo potty time (it’s on YouTube) and I think had him sit every 15 minutes at first. A sticker and an m&m every success plus a check mark oh the chart. Then three check marks got a prize from the basket (target dollar spot stuff and matchbox cars). My theory is if you are going to get the change you want to see you have to make a big deal to make it worth their time. Good luck!
persimmon / 1467 posts
I'd definitely keep going and do another day of no underwear/pants. Give him as much to drink as possible (special cup, straw, whatever it takes to get him to drink), and then visit the potty every 20 mins and hang out there for a bit. It's exhausting for everyone, even the lo learning something new so definitely do special stuff on the potty. We read books on the potty and hung out at home until he learned how to control peeing.
kiwi / 624 posts
It’s only day 1. It can feel weird and scary for them. I’d give it the three days to see how things evolve and then reassess.
pear / 1703 posts
@DesertDreams88: @Petitduck thanks for the push and encouragement- were going to continue on today.
@MamaCate: am checking out that Elmo video to show DS. Will try anything! Got some smarties too.
@brownepiano: bringing some books to the bathroom is a good idea. I’m going to try that too. Thanks for the encouragement - I really needed it!
persimmon / 1272 posts
@Autumnmama79: we read in the bathroom so often I bought a basket for them! 8 mo into potty training (DD trained DS still in a pull up) and we read at almost every visit that DS participates in!
kiwi / 624 posts
@Autumnmama79: it is rough. Also, I stayed home with my kid 24/7 for three days before we took a wagon ride with pants and no undies. It felt like torture for me and I like being home. It was in March so we couldn’t go play in the backyard and play with no pants and underwear.
pear / 1703 posts
Update: he’s peed twice in his pants 
He’s not telling us when he needs to go...
persimmon / 1467 posts
My kids didn't tell me they needed to go until MONTHS after starting potty training. Just keep taking him regularly and watch him like a hawk. And if you can, don't have him wear any pants for a few days.
pear / 1703 posts
@brownepiano: oh man, months?! He’s quite adamant that he wants to wear something, I think dh has convinced him being naked is bad. Which totally sucks on many levels.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@Autumnmama79: can you make him start with no bottoms and then once he pees on the potty he can get undies?
persimmon / 1345 posts
I tried 3 day method when my Lo2 was 2.5. No amount of bribery, marshmallow if you go reward, sticker charts, etc had any impact on my super stubborn boy. We read multiple books, watched shows about going potty, etc. His school requires pull ups so basically we were using those just as diapers bc he wouldn’t tell us or even attempt to go. Also I was too chicken to actually put him in underwear and go anywhere bc I solo parent a lot, have two other kids, and didn’t want to be washing car seats all the time.
I also only kept buying the pull ups in small amount at target hoping I wouldn’t need them anymore. I don’t know what happened or if it just clicked all of a sudden but like three weeks before he turned 3, he potty trained himself and had like ONE accident since! No poopy accidents, no nap time accidents. He goes by himself or if we’re out tells us well. Not one accident at school either. He still wears diapers at night but is mostly dry. I think it was just his age. (Of course, I bought a huge box of pull ups right at Costco the Saturday before he decided to potty train)
persimmon / 1467 posts
@Autumnmama79: my goal with the 3 day method wasn't to get them to initiate but to get them to be able to pee on command. Basically to know how their muscles work and be able to hold it (a little) and be able to pee in the potty when asked. But remembering to go pee when they needed to took more time. I did start potty training both boys earlier than you, so my expectations weren't too high.
If you want to go right to pants and underwear and self-initiating, then you might want to wait.
persimmon / 1272 posts
@Autumnmama79: I agree with PP on this one...... self initiating took a while for my daughter......
"Lets take a break and go potty" became my go to phrase because it wasnt a question she could say no to and was easy enough to return to what we were doing .
You mentioned books before. I am a big fan of a few bathroom only books.....then the are a treat when hes in there......and also might become potty triggers ....for instance I have one book that I read that I call the poop book (behind their backs) because I swear it triggers poop from some sort of muscle memory association or something....haha)
kiwi / 624 posts
@Autumnmama79: my kid really did not want to have no bottoms on. Neither of them are very into being naked for whatever reason. Anyway, what’s your potty situation like? I kept mine in the kitchen as it was in the middle of the okay area and living room and went for a method between timed reminding and her just going by herself when she wanted to. Our potty played a tune even if a few drops went in so that was good. And it was so quick and easy to get to vs. Climbing a stool or being lifted onto the big toilet. So the potty followed us to whatever floor of the house we were playing on.
Is he upset when his pants are wet?
pear / 1703 posts
@MamaCate: I’m not sure. He’s quite adamant. I could push it tomorrow.
@misolee: ok this makes me feel a bit better! Thank you for sharing.
@brownepiano: hmm, maybe I should’ve read a bit more before I started this. I thought it was a one stop deal and would do as it says in 3 days! The whole thing seems so much more complex then when I toilet trained my DD.
@meadow: thank you for taking the time to respond. I think some dedicated potty books is another good lure.
@Petitduck: we’re just doing the child’s seat on our regular toilet with a stool. I did the same with my daughter and thought it was good because we never had to transition her from little potty to regular toilet. BUT this seems to be a totally different experience with DS. Maybe he needs the little potty! Gah.
kiwi / 624 posts
@Autumnmama79: I do hear boys are sometimes/often a whole different ball game. I have a girl and a boy, have only done potty training with my daughter so far and we had no issues transitioning to the big toilet, fwiw. I’m contemplating getting the little weird plastic animal urinals for when I have to potty train him. Or just use the singing potty.
And no treats or special activities will inspire him to be without undies?
pomegranate / 3595 posts
@Autumnmama79: this sounds challenging. How is the day going today?
persimmon / 1281 posts
We potty trained my son last fall loosely using the 3 day method. The first day he had a couple accidents and then one more on an outing that weekend. since then no accidents. BUT he was 3 years and 3 months. I am in the “wait until they’re more then ready” camp. He was soooo stubborn about using the potty we just didn’t push it at all. I hated using diapers that long but on the plus side he’s had pretty much no accidents and went into underwear at night pretty much right away.
Good luck!!! Potty training is tough. Every kid is so different.
persimmon / 1270 posts
Kids are so different! I would take peeing in the pants as a good start from holding it all day the day before. It's often needed a lot of assistance to succeed at potty use. I felt like it was my job to help them get it right. This means I need to give them lots of opportunities, put them in clothing they can take down themselves, leave potties near where they play and things like that.
clementine / 830 posts
@Portboston: Just curious, how did you decide to go ahead with the three day method at that point? My DS is 3 and 1 month, remains soooo stubborn as well and no signs at all of the magical "training himself" that I was hoping for/have heard of. At a certain point, I know he has the physical capacity and he is not going to be able to attend summer programs, etc., if he isn't trained. But I'm afraid to try to push it before he's ready when we've waited this long, and wind up even further delaying the process or triggering a really long battle. I keep hoping he'll do an attitude 180 on his own.
persimmon / 1281 posts
@nwm: my son is verrrry resistant to change/new things. So I knew he would need somewhat of a push. I waited until I was 100% sure he was physically ready. I was completely prepared to pull back if he was resisting it but with some gentle urging he decided to try and I’m so glad we waited. He would have been super unsuccessful if I would have pushed him more at a younger age.
clementine / 830 posts
@Portboston: ha, it sounds like we are parenting the same child. thank you! that is good to hear. i'm thinking if we don't see him willingly trying it by, say, memorial day, we will try pushing him. i frankly think he could do it right now with a little firm pushing but also likewise think he would have been extremely unsuccessful if we pushed before. he seems to be cresting out of a super needy phase and just now adjusting to little sister as well!
pear / 1703 posts
UPDATE: Not only were the 3 days a total fail, but its actually caused a serious problem. We're back in diapers, resigned to the fact that he's not ready, which I'm totally fine with. However, now he is holding his pee (he has always done this with his poo, even in diapers). He's holding it ALL day (like he has a dry diaper for the entire day!) until he becomes panicky and uncomfortable for the final 30 minutes and then he eventually has a very large pee in his diaper.
Anything I can do other than hope this passes soon?!
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