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@poppygirl15: I have my son on a routine poop time. After dinner every night he goes and sits on the potty. If he poops and his underwear is clean, he gets to watch a tv show (a big reward because he doesn’t watch any screens otherwise) having a schedule is the only way I have figured out to not get him to poop himself. - he has similar little poops in his underwear otherwise. I think he genuinely cannot feel when/if he has to go until it’s too late. When he does have a little accident right away I put him on the potty and he usually will poop afterwards. So I actually think it’s a positive that it’s just small accident - because he is realizing what he is doing and not full on pooping his pants
I also give him Magkids vitamin once a day (in his mind as a reward for sitting on the potty because they are animal shaped) , magnesium is supposed to help with constipation/muscle relaxation
Good luck!

Oh the poopy underwear.

The second time I tried potty training I followed the recommendations in The Ins and Outs of Poop. I don't recall all the details but there are several ideas for rewards that aren't dependent on pooping in the potty. I pasted the description of their printable charts and what they're used for below. If I remember correctly my son earned one sticker for sitting on the potty for a certain period of time, one for pee (because you pee before you poop), two for practicing pushing and/or blowing, and three for a poop in the potty. I think he got a small car every 10 stickers. He earned one or two cars before he had a success.

- HAVING A DAILY BOWEL MOVEMENT - Good Pooping Chart

- LEARNING TO PUSH - Good Pushing Chart

- FEAR OF SITTING ON THE TOILET - Good Sitting on the Toilet to Poop Chart

- FEAR OF POOPING ON THE TOILET - Good Pooping on the Toilet Chart

ONLY POOPS IN A PULL-UP OR DIAPER/WILL SIT ON TOILET - Good Sitting on the Toilet in a Diaper Chart

- ONLY POOPS IN A PULL-UP OR DIAPER/WON'T SIT ON TOILET - Good Pooping on the Spot Chart

I am writing in commiseration as my family is in a similar (albeit, a bit different) situation with my DS ( https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/my-4-year-old-ds-is-regressing-potty-edition#post-2889801 ). I can empathize and sympathize with the challenges you have presented and I agree that it is exhausting and frustrating. Sending hugs your way .

Restoralax, routine times to sit, books about poop, silly songs and dances for successful poops, and ultimately a new hot wheels car for going on the toilet (I bought 70 of them used online to give him after stickers, m and ms stopped working ) it took 2-3 months or so in total to get him reliable. I thought he would never get it but now it’s a distant memory. Lots of skid marks in the meantime.

Soooo.... you're not gonna want to hear this...

My son will be 4 next month. We started potty training a year ago (last summer right before he turned 3). Pee took a few months. He was extremely resistant. He STILL WON'T POOP ON THE POTTY! He has extreme anxiety about it. He just poops in his underwear. I've tried everything and it seems like anything I try (reward chard, treats, etc) he does. not. care. He is very anxious about pooping on the potty.

So my philosophy at this point is just... let it go. I figure it will happen eventually. I have decided just not to push him, encourage him if he seems interested, and resign myself to changing poopy underwear every day (IT SUCKS).

BTW - he is not night trained (still in pullup/overnight diaper) and often poops in there first thing in the morning. He usually holds it at school but maybe 1-2x a month has a poop accident and they've been pretty understanding.

So my DD was pee trained just before 3 but wasn't poop trained until 4. She has always struggled with constipation and would also hold her poop as a control thing. At the advice of her pediatrician we allowed her to continue pooping in a diaper. She would tell us she needed to poop and we would get a diaper for her. She had to stay in the bathroom while pooping. She definitely preferred to poop standing up. Starting at 3 years 9 months we would ask her to try sitting on the toilet before she could have a diaper. Just after turning four something clicked and she no longer needed the diaper.

I realize that many people would not be okay with this approach but it worked really well for us. The diaper was easier/better for us than poopy underwear. We know that pushing our DD to do things before she is ready/comfortable can make her even more hesitant.

I did a sticker chart for my son that consisted of
Trying=1 sticker
Peeing=2 stickers
Pooping=3 stickers

Once he hit 15 he got to pick a hot wheel out of the bag. I did have to modify the trying to trying to poop because he would "try" to pee every 5 minutes to get a sticker.

Here to commiserate with you! My son also refuses to go poop on the potty! It's the worst!!

Just wanted to jump in and say hang in there! My DS potty trained late at almost 3... pee was absolutely fine but poop was another story. He had constipation which made it worse because he would hold it and then poop in his pants. I also think he didn’t quite understand the feeling of pushing and having to go. Miralax helped and putting him on the toilet daily after dinner...eventually something clicked and he got it. So there is hope yet!